i’ve been staring at the edge of the water long as i can remember, never really knowing why.

Since my first birthday over thirty years ago, I have been lucky enough to have spent at least one of my summer weeks relaxing in my favorite vacation spot, Stone Harbor, New Jersey. After spending my early years boogeyboarding in the ocean and building castles in the sand, I came to find this small beach town as my happy place as I used its sun to heal my soul and its summer breeze to take my worries away.  It has provided me with a place to escape and refresh since my teenage days and comforted my broken heart in my twenties.
For the past eight days, I’ve found peace in this place once again as I have watched it welcome my sweet daughter as one of it’s own.  

The load on my shoulders has seemed to be lifted as I see her play in the sand and hear her little sweet voice sing Moana songs into the waves.  Her smile has opened up my soul and reminded me how far I’ve come from my youthful days on these sandy beaches.  

Every morning, her morning cuddles have reminded that we have another day in our east coast paradise, but I know we are getting closer and closer to the end.  While I worry that my inner peace will be fleeting like the summer sun, I am reminded that she is my peace.  I look at her and I’m reminded that life has blessed me as her mother and placed me right where I need to be.  While the beach has granted us days free of worry, sickness, and pain, we are needed somewhere else very soon.

But next year, we will be back and hopefully with more peace in our hearts from the answers we seek.