Where do I even begin? I should start by saying “Hello!”, just in case there is anyone who is actually out there reading this. It’s been quite a while since i wrote on this blog of mine. In all honestly, that was also a very different world when it comes to blogging as it seems that everyone has a blog now. It’s because of that reason that I don’t know if I ever want to come back to this world of blogging or not. But then again, I realized today, after finding my old, possibly still broken laptop, that blogging was very therapeutic for me and possibly the reason I was able to reflect and grow so much years ago.
As I said, the world is very different now in both good and bad ways, but I’m not here to get all of that. But I will share that I am now a wife and mommy to the sweetest and silliest little girl who has brightened my world with her smiles and laughs. She has been the missing piece of my puzzle and I feel truly blessed to be the one she calls “Mama”.
Over the past week or two, I was drawn back to my days of blogging and have since spent my “me time” clicking through my blog entries and feeling both the pain and enlightening moments that filled my twenties. There were afternoons when tears filled my eyes as I read through the memories of my broken heart as the pain and anxiety refilled my body as though many years hadn’t passed. But as I held my daughter, I felt at peace knowing that all those distant memories brought me to her and because of them, I will be able to walk hand-in-hand through this crazy world with her.
So what do I do now? Should I be a blogger again?
Part of me wants to do it just so I can reflect on life with my baby girl and all of our days and adventures together, but then again I don’t want to be one in a million mommy bloggers. Because that isn’t how I feel or see myself.
For me, this blog was started as my free therapy and a chance for me to speak up and share my inner thoughts for anyone who wants to read them, but also for no one at all except myself.
Do I start fresh and start a new one? Or do I use this one to allow me to continue my journey and always remember the days of my past.
Whatever happens, it was nice to visit for a while. I think I’ll be back if my old laptop can be brought back from the day with a little TLC and lots of prayers. Fingers crossed.