four and a half years ago


It’s inevitable that life is going to change.  It has to, right?  I mean each day we not only get older and wiser, but we also learn from past mistakes or take chances that we used to be too scared to take.  Some days we wake up and know exactly what to expect, while other days bring surprises that we never saw coming.  Each day, there are people starting dream jobs, moving to new places, falling in love, and beginning a family, but there are also people that are suffering form a broken heart, battling depression, receiving terminal diagnoses, and saying goodbye to loved ones.

One day, four and half years ago, my life was forever changed.

On that day, which was also exactly one month before my wedding, every thing appeared to be so normal… until it wasn’t.

As I drove us home, my husband’s headache quickly turned into something that we soon learned to be called “gelastic seizures” and were forced to take a detour to the emergency room.  This unexpected trip forced my husband to trade in his weekend bachelor party with friends for a ten day hospital admission with very little answers.

Years have passed since that day came and changed our lives and we still have very few answers to explain what happened that day.  Unfortunately, we also don’t have many answers for the dozens of new symptoms that have risen since then.

In these past four and a half years, our lives have changed in many ways, more than most of our friends even know.  Our days once filled with spontaneous happy hours and family trips to the zoo have now been replaced with only leaving the home for a surplus of doctor appointments and occasional grocery runs.

We are stressed and confused more than our minds can even process.  Our bodies are weary- his more than mine- but we keep getting up in the morning to drink coffee as we ponder if today is the day that our lives will again change, but this time for the better. We want to cry, but the tears are hiding behind the little hope that we still have that one of these doctors will give us a diagnosis, and more importantly a treatment.

But while most of these days have been filled with questions and unanswered prayers, we have been blessed to have the smiles, hugs, and laugther of our beautiful two-and-a-half year old daughter to push us through the most challenging of days.  She is our hope.  She is the reason that we keep getting up and finding the fight within us.

I truly believe that God gifted her to us for this challenge in life because I honestly couldn’t get through a day without her.




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