Archive for the ‘fate’ Tag

“all i have are the choices i make”   3 comments

I could write a book on fate…and for the last six years of my life I swore I would.  But that was then and, as they say, this is now.  All of the lessons learned and eye-opening experiences between then and now have left me with the desire to (instead) write my little novel about choices.  Because if I’ve really learned anything it’s that we decide our own fate based on the choices we make. 

In my last post I wrote about seeing The Adjustment Bureau, which has led me to write (and think a lot) about the Concept of Fate (again) these days.  During the movie, Matt Damon’s character declares, “All I have are the choices I make…and I choose her.”  And choose he most certainly did.  Instead of following the plan (destiny), he followed his heart (choice).

So here’s a question for you: When it comes to love, do we really have a choice? 

It’s no secret that life tends to catch us off guard every so often; maybe life will even a throw a curveball our way.  Once in a while, we find ourselves Enchanted by another.  He/She captures our attention…and soon our heart.  Whatever we worried about yesterday is now replaced with concerns like Does he/she like me too?” and “When will I see her/him again?”  Life goes on but we’re forever changed.  We feel different.  We feel alive.  There’s just something about being in love (or even having a crush) that makes life so much brighter, bolder, and shinier. 

Okay, back to that question: Do we have a choice when it comes to love?  And I mean real love, like the love that Carrie Bradshaw speaks of: “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”  Or are we fated to be victimized by Cupid’s games of arrow shooting?  What do you think? Do we have a choice in deciding whom we love?

Doubtful that I can find the right words right now, I’ll just say “Yes!”  Again, simply put, we always have the freedom to make our own choices in all aspects of our lives- especially love.  However, let me admit that I didn’t always believe this myself and I’m not the only one.

Five little words are overused and (often) misinterpreted by millions of people every single day: Everything Happens For A Reason.  You know this phrase because you’ve heard it countless times and said it yourself almost as many.  These words are second-nature to you and therefore, you say them without even thinking about what they mean, let alone how they really do apply to the given situation.  Some people use them as an excuse to stop trying- mistaking them to mean that things are going to happen authentically, without any effort on our behalf.  False!  The truth is that Everything Happens For A Reason because we Take Chances and Make Choices that Guide Our Lives Down the Path that we deem “Our Fate”, “Our Destiny.”  And most often people automatically think of Love when they hear these five words.

Now I can play devil’s advocate here and say that sometimes it seems like things just happen.  Every now and then you meet someone who you ration was the Handwork of Serendipity.  But if you really think about then you, too, know that Nothing Great Happens When We’re Standing Still.  The Best Things in Your Life Happened Because You Did Something.  Sure, it may have seemed like you were in the Right Place at the Right Time.  Or perhaps you happened to look up (or down) to catch an unforeseeable sign.  However, if you think about the moments leading you to that moment, then you’ll be amazed to learn that you embarked on a journey to get to that place at that time.  Where you are standing (or sitting) right now is the result of the all of Choices You Have Made.  And for all of your tomorrows, you will find yourself amongst the shadows of yesterday’s choices.

You Always Have a Choice.  Always.

sometimes you just know   Leave a comment

This may be the shortest post I’ve ever written, but I really cannot stay to chat tonight.  Things have busy, but what else is new?  Anyways, today/tonight i got to spend some time with my friend, Michelle, and the adorable little Max (her son) and I feel like I cannot go to bed tonight without mentioning something about the first of many amazing conversations with someone whom I know is going to be in my life for a very long time. 

When we think about the concept of destiny, we always tend to relate it to love & romantic relationships.  However, we fail to notice that other people- friends & mentors to name a few- enter our lives just in the nick of time.  Call it destiny, fate or serendipity, sometimes you just know when someone is meant to be in your life. 

A few months ago, during our second time hanging out, Michelle said to me before getting into the cab with her husband, “We need to hang out more and talk.  I just know we’re going to be good friends.”  Even without knowing her too well at that time, I sensed the same thing.  And now, I know that it’s true.  Like so many other friends in my life today, she is definitely someone who I feel blessed to have in my life.

all i have are the choices i make.   Leave a comment

Darlene, one of the loves of my life, always knows the right things to say, even if I don’t know the right question to ask.  On Thursday afternoon she knew the right quote to share: Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. ~ William Jennings Bryan.  After a short reply of my own, Darlene wrote back: Perhaps because you are making your own destiny, my dear sweet friend 😮

Fate. Destiny.Everything Happens for a Reason. We’ve heard these words a thousand times before and can expect to hear them millions more.  And we, ourselves, tend to repeat them too.  But what about the words: Do. Take. Go. As in Do What You Want. Take Chances. Go After Your Dreams.  Why don’t we use these words more often to instruct & inspire others (and ourselves) about the reality that is known as life? 

Today I followed my own words of wisdom by attending Open House for a grad program that would allow me to Do What I Want; Take Chances; and Go After My Dreams.  Within the first twenty minutes I found myself overwhelmed with the notion, “this feels right…so it must be right”Now I say ‘overwhelmed’ because, quite frankly, while everything sounds good and aligns perfectly with my plans, I’m experienced enough to know that life doesn’t always go according to plan.  And here I am with Martina McBride’s song, Anyway, playing in my head: But do it anyway. Okay Martina, I will.  I’ll take this chance and apply.  And I’ll trust that whatever is right, will happen.  Whether or not the outcome begins with a “Congratulations!” letter, I have made the choice to do it anyway.  Do. Take. Go.

You know, Do. Take. Go. applies to so many other things too.  Like Love.  While I can surely find reason to argue against love being a choice (ie. fate/destiny), ultimately we do have a choice whom to love.  However, we really don’t have a choice over who loves us.  In other words, we cannot force someone to love us (back).  So what is one to do?        

I may not be the best person to answer this question (these days) as I find myself asking others, How do you know if a guy likes you? more times than I’d like to admit.  But I’ll try, as much as possible, to tackle the topic from an unbiased perspective.  So what is the question again?  Oh yeah… what role can we play in getting someone else to like us?  There’s only one way to do it: Be Yourself.  For some this may be the hardest thing to do, but I believe that it’s easiest when the right person is that hopeful recipient.  If you feel like you can be yourself, then, trust me, you know you’ve found the right one. 

So to wrap this up (and return back to my application), let me say this: Whether it’s a new job, new boy, or new opportunity, remember that You Always have a Choice.  You have the Power to Choose Your Own Destiny.  You could spend your whole life waiting…and waiting.  But where’s the fun in that?  The truth is, Everything Happens for a Reason because YOU make it happen when you take that first step, and then another and another after that. 

And one more thing: Those darn butterflies that we love to hate…love them, because they are an indication that something/someone is worth being nervous about.  So embrace those butterflies. Do What You Want. Take Chances. Go After Your Dreams.

 

* I sing * I dream * I love *

i don’t believe in fate (anymore). i believe in coincidence, choice, and possibilty.   4 comments

Chuck: Two people that are meant to be together will eventually find their way back.
Blair: Do you really think that?
Chuck: I do.
Blair: So do I.

I found myself watching the final Chuck-Blair scene of Gossip Girl’s The Witches of Brunswick episode last night and rolling my eyes as the on-and-off-again couple recited the lines above.  An eye roll during a scene about fate is certainly a first for me, as I’m usually lost in my own little world of fairy tale beliefs that true love and soulmates exist. What happened to me?  Where did my beliefs go?  How did they just suddenly stop- like POOF? 

Why does my past belief in fate, true love, and soulmates make me feel like a fool?  How did I let myself believe such foolish thoughts for so foolishly long?  What was I thinking?  What did I believe?  And why?  Why did I believe it in the first place?

It’s nothing new (for me) but these past few weeks have been fairly exhausting, and I’m run down enough to feel confused about what day it is and where I am supposed to be & when.  I guess that’s what happens when you’ve spent 3 weeks in a row in Ohio and it really isn’t your home (anymore).  And on top of that, there have been some additional occurrences that have literally shaken me up just a bit- in both good and bad ways.  I’m not even going to waste neither your time nor mine with the bad, so don’t necessarily feel the need to abandon this post and check your Facebook feed.  I promise you that it will be there- and possibly even better- when you finish reading this entire entry. 

As for the good, well there’s been a helluva-lotta good that has happened to me these past few weeks, mostly occurring during my trips back to Cincinnati and Columbus to visit with friends and my little Hazel & George.  OHIO: My happy place, indeed. 

This past weekend threw a curveball into my life, to say the least.  Between you and me, and only you and me, I’ll admit that up until Saturday night I found myself haunted by Ohio boys wearing backwards grey OSU hats.  (I’ll spare you the details here.)  They were everywhere and each and everyone brought a mini-flashback to my tipsy little mind.  But then things changed.  I soon found myself kinda-sorta-maybe-not quite being set up with a great guy and enjoying his company.  While I’m sure there were still some backwards grey OSU hats amongst me, my eyes neither saw them nor did my mind see flashbacks of days past.  And since then, I haven’t given a second look at a boy in any sort of grey hat.  You probably don’t even understand how A.MAY.ZING. that feels for me!  If any of you have ever harbored feelings for someone for far too long, you know how liberating it is when the weight you’ve been carrying around in your shoulders, your heart, your mind, and your soul disappears.
In between my go-go-go days of work, commuting, volunteering, and really who knows what else, I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly happened on Saturday night.  What was it that made 7 years of heaviness disappear?  I think it was a combination of a few things that night and the weeks, days, and hours leading up to it, but in essence I know that things changed that night.  But why?  What really happened there?  How was I am to finally breathe again after that crisp fall night at Park Street Patio?

Yes, there was a boy.  And a few of you lovely readers/friends of mine know that and even know who he was.  And while I know I find myself with a long-anticipated crush on a what appears to be a great guy, I’m not sure exactly that he was the only one responsible for lifted all the weight from my shoulders.  I really think that I played a role in that too, as did the lessons that I’ve learned from the choices (or lack thereof) that I’ve made in the past.  The past really does prepare us for the future, doesn’t it?

If it wasn’t for a certain fate-filled belief that made up many years in my recent past, I may have felt differently about how things played out on Saturday.  With a random mutual friend between us, I may have thought that this new boy was meant to be in my life.  Instead I sit here thinking, what a crazy-cool coincidence.  Instead of adopting the mindset that if it’s meant to be then it will (just) be, I’ve chosen to take it upon myself and see what could possibly be something more than mere coincidence.  So in essence, instead of thinking  I am doing; instead of believing I am trying; and instead of waiting I am pursuing.

Afterall, Fate may bring people into your life but it’s up to you to figure out what role they’re going to play.
 
 

~ Accept that choice is out of your hands.  It’s up to the Fates to decide.  XOXO ~
(Really?)

don’t you think 19 is too young to be played by your dark, twisted games?   2 comments

I’ve sat on this thought for a long time.  Probably at least 6 years, if not more.  But I’m not sure if I have ever voiced it out loud (to myself) or to anyone else.  Instead it’s an idea that has rolled around in my mind time-and-time-again, but I never knew how best to put those thoughts & feelings into words.  Lucky for me, the ever-so-talented Hannah of As Simple As That wrote the words for me:

A role model of mine once talked with me on matters of life & love and a sudden romance that can make the two hold hands with one another. She said the most meaningful kind of love that I would one day encounter is when I am fully full, wholly whole. And I reach out my hand to another who is fully full, wholly whole. And together we will not complete one another. But there will be no denying: we will make one another better. We will be each other’s superb add-ons.

~ Hannah Katy @ www.hannahkaty.com

Thanks so much, Hannah!  Your thoughts have allowed me to find the words to convey mine.  Once again, you are an inspiration.

Every girl knows the line from Jerry Maguire “You complete me.” – that is at fault for furthering our fairy tale notion that we are not complete without another loving us.  Or as my friend, Amanda, told me at my impressionable age of nineteen (or a few days into being twenty), “One day you’ll find your puzzle piece.  Your perfect fit.  Then it will all come together and you’ll be complete.” 

I strongly dislike admitting this, but I believed Amanda’s theory.  There wasn’t a puzzle piece that I didn’t meet (figuratively speaking) that didn’t make me think of her line.  But that was then, and time & experiences have definitely introduced me to new ideas. Who began this urban legend anyways?  Who began this brain-washing belief we are not complete unless we have a ring on our left hand?  Is this another marketing scheme from Hallmark?

Feeding off Hannah’s idea, it is I (me) who makes myself “fully full, wholly whole”.  It is you who makes yourself “fully full, wholly whole”.  I cannot complete you.  You cannot complete me.  But instead, we (as two full, whole people) that can make one another better. 

Sure, I can say that now, with years of lessons learned weighing down my shoulers; however, when you’re a nineteen-year old optimistic, hopeless-romantic and fate comes and sweeps you off your feet, all ration is absent.  The butterflies tingle in your stomach and daydreams fill your head with plans for the your future: yours & his together.  Soon you’re not a “me” but a “we”.  You mistakenly believe that this is your other half; your destiny; la tua cantante; your soulmate.  But in fact, he/she is just another person, another part of the equation instead of half of the whole.  I can say this because I made the mistake, at the ripe young age of 19-20, only to learn the fateful lesson later: You are your own soulmate.  You complete yourself.  When you finally see that for yourself, you are saving yourself from a lot of doubt, confusion, and heartbreak. 

If I only knew what I know now.  When I was 19-years old, a few weeks before my first year at OU, Fate decided to play a game with me.  It released its butterflies and spun my head around a few times one summer afternoon in Athens, leaving me questioning what the heck was that?  To be honest I’m still not sure what “that” was nor everything that followed, but I think it’s best to classify it all as…hmm…a lesson to be learned, perhaps?  Whatever it was, that “lesson” has led me to where I am today.  It’s helped me see that there is no such thing as a soulmate to complete you.  Instead, there is a person out there- many people in fact- that will make you better, but it is always up to you to complete yourself. 

“You cannot expect someone to love you until you love yourself.”  Even though she said it to me years ago (around the age of 20 years old), I can still hear my mom’s voice speaking these words to me.  I’ve mentioned this before, but when she first said it to me my immediate thought was, I’ll love me when someone else loves me.  But now I know the truth: My mom was absolutely 100% right.  I didn’t see it at 19-years old nor at 20, and heck I didn’t even see it at 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, nor the beginning of 26.  But things have changed in the past year and I see it now.  At 27-years old, I finally see it more clearly than ever before.  My foolish thoughts of another completing are long-gone, and instead I strive to find myself in order to better the others I encounter, as they will likewise better me.

I truly believe that all of this and “that’ was part of my life’s journey.  The bumps & bruises and hills & mountains that are helping me become fully full and wholly whole.  I’m not there yet, but I know I’ll get there.  Knowing how far I’ve come since I was 19-years old is proof and my aspirations drive me to keep learning & growing.  Others- family, friends, mentors, love interests- are there to help guide and support me along my way, but I am the one who can complete me.  The only one.  And one day, if completeness is truly possible, I will.  And when I find him, whoever he may be, I know that I’ll be the same- but better.

Song of the Moment: Where Would We Be Now by Good Charlotte

seren-dipity-doo-dah   2 comments

Maybe our mistakes make our fate…without them what would change our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart…and if you’re a very lucky person, just a plain ride away.  ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

I always think of my girlfriends when I see this quote, especially my Sex and the City Ladies- Ruth, Kristin, and Sarah.  We used to try figuring out which of us was Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha, and Carrie.  In my opinion, Sarah is definitely Samantha and Kristin is Charlotte.  Ruth is probably more of Miranda but definitely has her Samantha moments.  Leaving me as Carrie.  Yes, I’m probably definitely a Carrie…Maybe with some Charlotte moments. 

Where the heck am I going with this?  See, this is what happens when I see this quote and start thinking about my ladies. So life has taken us all in different directions (literally): Ruth is in Northern California, Sarah is living in Bermuda (seriously!), Kristin is married and a home-owner in Columbus, and me, little Ms. Carrie Bradshaw, is analyzing the world from her apartment in Chicago.  Well, this week I’m analyzing it from Cincinnati, Ohio- surrounded by the toys of two adorable children, Hazel & George, and their inspiring mother, Rebecca. 

So what’s on my mind these days?  Fate.  Destiny. Serendipity.  Call it what you will, but we all know what this means: The belief that our life is pre-determined.  That ‘everything happens for a reason’.  We’ve all heard that line before, whether we want to or not, but do we believe it? 

Yesterday after a brief call with my mom, I received an unexpected email from my friend, Dina.  Her lovely, thoughtful, encouraging words really touched me.  So from the bottom of my heart, thank you, Dina.  Both my mom and Dina brought up- in their own way & words- hit on the concept of fate; of destiny; that everything happens for a reason.  That people come into our life when the timing is right…for both of us.  This was Dina’s point, not my mom’s.  My mom thinks that it should just happen every single time I walk out the door.  BAM! instant BFFs.  POOF! love of my life.

Back to Dina’s point: It’s all about timing, ladies & gentlemen.  So often, too often, we get so frustrated when things don’t pan out the way we want them to.  I, too, fall into this category so I’ll speak for myself.  We think that we’re absolutely, 100% ready for that job to be ours, to meet “The One” that we’ve been waiting for; however, we need to realize that in those scenarios, especially the latter one, that another party is involved.  Therefore, it’s best to remember that even if you’re ready, perhaps the other person isn’t- yet. 

Patience has never been my best quality.  My own father will tell you that without a mere second thought.  However, in my defense, I have gotten much better over the years.  Andy Warhol said it best, “The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.”  True, true.  Though let me add to that by saying that waiting for something helps you realize whether or not you really want it.  But even if your decipher that you’re ready, perhaps the other part of the equation (the perfect job or the perfect guy/girl) isn’t quite ready for you.  What do you think of that?

When you meet the supposed love of your life at twenty years old, it’s impossible to comprehend that it is not the right time…yet.  It may be perceived as foolish, but instead it’s merely evidence that you have A LOT of growing up left to do before the time is right.  As a wiser twenty-seven year old, I can tell you that timing is everything.  Time provides us with the experience to discover who we are; take chances; and learn from our mistakes.  Time allows us to figure out what we really want and what we’re willing to fight for.  To quote (or paraphrase) a line from Sex and the City 2, which I just saw for the first time tonight: “Time does not matter.  When we see one another, it’s wonderful.”

 I know, all of my thoughts are fairly transparent as they center around people specifically.  Yes, L.O.V.E. is a common factor in everything I’ve mentioned above- but not just romantic love.  All of these may pertain to friends, family members, or mentors that have played a role in your development.  See, new people enter (and re-enter) into our life each and every day, but (unfortunately) not all of them remain in our life.  An example: When I was in middle school, one BFF after another slowly disappeared from my life.  I couldn’t understand why and, as a result, I blamed myself for pushing them away.  I look back now and realize how little I knew about life, about friendship back then.  Not every friend you make is going to be in your life forever.  It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault.  That’s just how life is.  As the line goes, everything happens for a reason.

But there are certain people who Fate brings to us, as Destiny whispers the secret that they are meant to be in our life forever.  At times we just know ‘it’ at the first sight of them or through a bonding conversation.  From there we cannot imagine life without them as we find ourselves feeling a sense of completeness with our other half by our side.  Although, life isn’t always fair.  People come and go.  No rhyme nor reason will explain why…but time will.  Over time we can see all of the answers that we spent sleepless nights and tears searching for.  The answer is that sometimes we need these people in our lives to guide us along our path and sometimes those people need us to do the same for them

We really don’t think of it like that often, do we?  That we come into another’s life to help him/her finding what they are looking for; to help them grow along their journey.  Perhaps they needed someone like you to inspire and/or encourage them to keep fighting for what they want.  Maybe you met them to introduce them to the love of their life.  Fate does exist.  People are meant to be together- in whatever context you like to believe in.  However, it’s not always the way you think it should go.

Once upon a time, I met a guy that I believe(d) was my fate, my destiny, my everything happens for a reason.  I waited patiently and very, very impatiently for years, believing that we were meant to be and therefore, time will bring us together again- somehow, someday.  I fought the pains that showed me that he (us) was what I really wanted.  But now, I foolishly admit that I really may have had it wrong all along.  Instead I contemplate the real reason he first entered my life many years ago.  Maybe, just maybe, he came into my life to remind me of where I came from?  Or maybe, just maybe, I came into his life to remind him?

i’m wonderstruck. i’ll spend forever wondering if you know, i was enchanted to meet you.   1 comment

With my green OU traveler’s mug next to me, I sit here ready to divulge into my mind: the past, present, future, and my imagination.  Since the never-ending Chicago Windstorm of 2010 knocked out my Internet last night, preventing me from blogging therapy, I yearn to have that happen now.  And 15 minute work break begins now…

…as I hit PLAY on my ipod as Taylor Swift’s Enchanted begins.  I cannot stop listening to the songs on her new cd, Speak Now, especially this Enchanted, leading me to come up the notion that I am Taylor Swift here on my blog.  No friend will be spared from praise; no good deed will go unmentioned; and no boy- past, present, and future- is safe from being characterized in a learned lesson.

The song, Enchanted, brought many ideas to the forefront of my mind.  While listening to it (over and over) again this morning, I started thinking about my favorite novel, The Time Traveler’s Wife…which reminds me of my own Claire-Henry story.  But that’s not what this is necessarily about.  Instead it’s about how enchanting some people can be, or the effect that others can have on us.  The people who entice us with their sparkling eyes, genuine smile, witty charms, and/or kind heart.  They reach to shake our hand, and unknowingly touch our heart.  In that moment, your life is forever changed.  Just like Claire & Henry.  Neither of them knew what hit them in their first meetings.

“Here I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles.  Same old tired, lonely place.  Walls of insecurity.  Shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when I saw your face.”  Enchantment tends to enter one’s life when you least expect it and, coincidentally, when you need it the most.   You’re tired of ‘the game of life’; worn out from the frustrations and rejections; and inevitably ready to throw in the towel.  And then like clockwork in the hands of fate, you catch a friendly glimpse or a welcoming smile. 

“Your eyes whispered ‘have we met?’ Across the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me.  The playful conversation starts.”  You talk like you’ve known one another forever.  Soon find yourself saying, “Me too!” and “I used to live there”.  With all of the excitement you realize that you cannot remember his name.  You wonder, Did he forget mine too?  All of a sudden you find yourself worrying, wondering how that can be since you just met this guy.  And then calmness is restored as you hear him say, “I have to go, but it was really nice talking to you, (your name, he remembered).  I hope to see you again real soon.”  He smiles.  You smile, and without even think you respond, “Me too, (his name, you remembered.)” 

“The night is sparkling, don’t you let it go.  I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.”  The rest of the night is free of doubts.  The insecurities that were haunting you mere hours have evaporated from your mind.  The heart that was broken and bitter is now (almost) scar-free.  Soon you find yourself dancing and singing to your favorite Taylor Swift songs in your cutest pajamas; scribbling hearts all over the white board by your door; and leaving a love quote as your Facebook status, followed by a heart.  And maybe, probably, as your drift off to sleep, for a brief second (or two) you imagine your wedding day.  Yes, boys, we do this.  We’re not crazy, it’s just those damn country love songs, romance movies, and estrogen that kidnap any ration that may have once been in our imagination.  We give a simple smile and hope to see you in our dreams, and in the morning too.

“The lingering question kept me up.  2am, who do you love? I wonder till I’m wide awake. Now I’m pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door.”  Have you ever woken up from a dream knowing that the dream held in it a sign?  You wake up startled, and as the grogginess drifts away you find yourself questioning, what did that really mean?  Soon you’re thinking he said “we”, does he have a girlfriend?  A fiancée?  A wife?  Was he wearing a wedding band?  Then your mind calms down and you find yourself saying out loud, “but the way he looked at me, his smile, AND HE FLIRTED WITH ME!  There’s no way there’s another girl in the picture!” 

“This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the story ends.”  The imagination is a beautiful thing.  It makes you believe that you are heroine in that love song, and novel, and romantic comedy.  As long as your imagination shields yourself from the doubts, you are filled with optimism and hope.  You’ve forgotten the heartbreaks of your past and can only see love in your future. 

“My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again.  These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon.”  You haven’t seen him in awhile.  He hasn’t called.  Sure, he didn’t get your phone number but you convince yourself that he would find a way to get it since that’s what guys (in the movies) do.  Soon the doubts and protrude your mind, saying “He never liked you.  Why would he?  He could have any girl he wanted, why would he want you?”   And soon you tell yourself, out loud, “I wasn’t good enough for him anyways.  I don’t know why I ever thought he’d want to be with me.”  And soon, he’s gone…though never fully forgotten as you’ll find yourself always wondering.

“Please don’t be in love with someone else.  Please don’t have someone waiting on you.”  On one fateful day, years later, he comes back into your life.  Surprisingly he still looks the same and your feelings are just as strong, despite all the time that has passed.  He still looks at you as if you were that twenty-two year old he once knew.  And you look at him as though you’ve never been hurt; nor cried over the mere thought of him; nor swore you’d never talk to him again.  He turns to the side and taps the woman next to him on the arm, whispering softly so none of the others in the group can hear.  She looks up, right at you, and smiles as she pats him on the shoulder.  He walks towards you and all you can find yourself softly saying, “Please don’t be in love with someone else.”

Real life doesn’t follow the plot of The Time Traveler’s Wife nor the lyrical pattern of a Taylor Swift song with a happily ever after ending.  Sometimes we find ourselves full of enchantment by what appears to be the perfect guy for us.  However, it’s not long before the bubble of hopeful possibilities bursts as he drops the “girlfriend” bomb or introduces you to his wife.  It’s moments like those where the letters F.M.L. come in handy and you’re convinced that fate likes messing with you- again.

But we have to believe that one day, the jokes will be over, the winning hand will be dealt, and the stars will align.  Enchantment will come again…when you least expect it.  And when it does, you’ll swear that you won’t leave without giving him your cell phone number or, better yet getting his.  After all guys wait for 3 days to call anyways and you don’t want to wait that long.  Seriously, what’s up with that boys?  And with his number in your hand (in your cell), you walk away as he whispers under his breath, “Please don’t be in love with someone else.”

Whether or not you believe in fate, in soulmates, in the concept of “The One”, it’s your prerogative.  If you do believe that there is a guy/girl out there waiting to find you and love you unconditionally and forever, then let me ask you this: How long are you willing to wait?  Will you wait for enchantment to strike, or will you settle for less?