Archive for the ‘Stef’ Tag

the world needs a love story to give us something to believe in. i need a love story.   Leave a comment

The world needs a love story … another one, I guess … to give us something to believe in.  A(nother) love story to make us believe 1) in love; 2) that love exists; 3) that love can exist for each one of us. 

This is the thought that rummaged through my mind as I walked down Diversey on Friday morning to catch my bus.  Where it came from…not sure?  Now I may have been hungover, or perhaps still a little drunk, from Thursday night’s St. Patrick’s Day fun, but who knows.  But I do remember this thought, and in fact, I even wrote these words down after I boarded the bus to the office.

The ‘studies’ say that men think about SEX  every 7 seconds, but to make them look less animalistic we’ll leave it as sex (or similar topics) cross their minds on average hundreds of times per day.  But there’s no man-hating or complaining here, and instead I’m just laying down the facts.  And the fact is this: Women think about LOVE at least every 7 seconds.  All Women: Single. Taken. Black. White. Young. Old. Straight. Gay. Bisexual. Hopeless Romantics. (and) Cynics. All women share one thing in common, whether or not they’ll always admit it: Every woman wants to love and be loved in return.  Every woman desires to hear “You’re beautiful”, “You’re the one for me“, and “I love you.”   Love ♥ Love ♥ Love ♥  This is our common bond.

In non-blog world (aka every day life), I am one of those women who doesn’t always admit that she wants to find love.  In fact I do a very good job at playing the I don’t know if I even want a boyfriend and I’m too busy for a relationship cards- sometimes even convincing myself to believe these lies.  But as my friend, Kristin, reminded me in an email this week, “Um, hate to tell you this but you are a girl so you will be a girl.” 

So what does this girl really want?  I want to finally Believe that Love Exists for Me. 

Stef and I had a wonderful date in Andersonville yesterday, that concluded with us enjoying good food and conversation at Kopi Cafe.  Per usual, our conversation covered many different topics; however, what stood out to me the most was our discussion on Self-Love & Relationships.  I believe it’s best to use my mom’s infamous words here as they were spoked during my conversation with Stef and prove to be quite fitting for my next point…so here they are: “You cannot expect someone to love you until you love yourself.” 

I love a good Love Story…which is probably an innate female thing.  I watch The Notebook.  I read The Time Traveler’s Wife.  I listen to way too many country songs about God Blessing the Broken Road.  And who can forget that my favorite bar activity is asking couples, “So how did you two meet?”  and “How did you know that you were in love?”

So let me be a girl here and admit this, for the first time (at least sober): One day, I hope to tell my own love story and maybe even write it.  Actually that latter part was my plan for a while…and in a way still is.  It’s no secret that I held onto to someone (ck) for way too long, and with the weight lifted off my shoulders (finally!) I can think more clearly and say this: Believing in him gave me a love story to believe in.  I wanted our potential love story to give others something to believe in too.  But like many love story, ours never got past the first chapter, and I’m okay with that (now).  Why?  Because even if our love story isn’t continuing, my love story will.  My Learning to Love Myself story continues.  My Letting Love In story goes on.  I may have no idea what the next page holds, but that’s the beautiful thing about love stories.  You never know what’s going to happen next until you turn the page…until you wake-up the next morning and Live Your Life.

the nanny diaries: my weekend with max   Leave a comment

“Oh, and when you figure out, Love is all that matters after all. It sure makes everything else, seem so small.” 

Carrie Underwood sang these words (to me) and captured my attention today as I rode the bus this morning on my way to our new work office (finally) in downtown Chicago.  I thought of Max.  I missed Max.  But I am so glad that his parents are back in town now because we both missed them soooooo much!! 

Actually that’s a perfect segue into what I want to say first.  Max’s parents, my dear friends, Michelle & Bayard, truly deserve an A*MAY*ZING.  Max is the well-mannered, kind-hearted, adventure-seeking, lovable little boy because of his parents have done such a remarkable job of raising him.  I’ve told them both this and will continue to do so, and my hope is that they really do believe me.  I feel blessed to have all three of them in my life and so grateful that Michelle & Bayard trusted me enough to look after Max this weekend.  They are most certainly family to me, now more than ever.  Seriously, Michelle & Bayard, and little Max too, thank you for welcoming me into your family!  Love you all!

Now, let me officially declare my love for little Max.  While this weekend was a rarity for the Single Girl in the City (aka Yours Truly), I worry that words will not accurately express how special this weekend was for me.  So please be aware that as I type this post, I have a huge smile on my face and a heart filled with gratitude for this experience.

Yesterday, on my final morning with Max, I called my mom and the first words out of my mouth were, “Okay, so you may very well get those grandchildren you’ve always hoped for.”  While all my friends (especially those with kids) joke that this was ‘the best form of birth control’, I must admit that it’s only temporary as I realize that I’m just not ready…yet.  For now I truly believe that my place is to continue my volunteer work and be in my friends’ kids lives.  Who the heck knows what my future holds, but for the first time in my life I really do believe that (my own) children could be a part of it.

This weekend with Max really was incredible, filled with smiles, laughs, hugs & kisses, and lots of running around.  I loved every moment of it!  This was certainly one of those precious times in life when one finds himself/herself perfectly content with where he/she is.  I felt like I was where I needed to be and, honestly, where I wanted to be too.  While we had our share of fun these last few days, my favorite moments with Max were when he let out that cry every morning that translated into “Kristen, I’m awake. Come get me. It’s time to play (and eat) again!”  And play we most certainly did.  With the help of Max’s other girlfriends- Sadie, Stef, Dina, and Lonni- we found ourselves playing A LOT this weekend.

We kept things simple on Friday, staying in other than a quick trip over to see Dina at the MAW staff for some ball playing.  Now staying in with Max means that we played a lot of soccer, ventured around many condo floors, watched many episodes of Mickey’s Clubhouse, and ate (literally) tons of food.  Now if that’s not the perfect Friday date, then I don’t know what is? 

However, Saturday was a completely different story as Max and I found ourselves venturing off to the suburbs to volunteer for Make-A-Wish with Dina and our new friend (another girlfriend of Max), Lonni.  Yes, Max was the Make-A-Wish mascot and hands-down the best looking, most irresistible boy there!!  Seriously, how adorable does he look in this tee-shirt?!   And while he certainly did his fair share of running around, I have to say that Max behaved himself quite nicely.  (Note: He is NOT drinking from that Coca Cola bottle in the photo.  He was just playing with it.)

I have to take the time here to thank Dina & Lonni for playing with us on Saturday.  Max was sooooo happy to flirt with 🙂 and I am so appreciative for their kindness in entertaining my little boo.

After a playdate on Saturday afternoon for Max with his girlfriend, Sadie, and my own lady date with Lonni and Dina, I headed back  to prepare of our slumber party with Stef.  Max was so happy to see his other girlfriend, Stef, and even welcomed her by showing off his Mickey Mouse balloon.  When the exhausted little man went to bed, Stef and I continued our catch-up session with girl talk and a mini-Keeping Up with The Kardashians marathon(because we can). 

Sunday finally came and we were ready to take Max out on a special date: To Shedd Aquarium.  Stef & I were so excited to take him and enjoy quality time with our little boo in one of the best places in Chicago.  Waiting in line outside worried me a bit but Max found it as a(nother) opportunity to play, forcing me to chase him around in circles.  (He’s a man of routine.) 

We finally made our way into the aquarium and Max began enjoyed all of the fishies and sea creatures.  We roamed around exploring the different sections, finally making our way to the sea otters and dolphin areas.  (Note: I could sit by that dolphin tank all day writing, and one day plan to.  It’s so peaceful.) 

Finally we found the penguins (!) and Max LOVED playing in the little play area- riding the slide and climbing through the tunnel.  Although, he sadly wouldn’t humor me by wearing the penguin outfit.  (Michelle, I tried just for you!)  Upon making our way upstairs for the dolphin show, Max got to ride in an elevator (Note: He loves elevators!) with a penguin!

Max enjoyed the dolphin show- and climbing up and down the 2-3 stairs in the aisle- but he was definitely getting tired.  Yep, Nap Time!  Max passed out in the stroller as we trekked back home for a quiet evening in…before Dad got home!  Max and I enjoyed our final date night (at least for now) by simultaneously watching Mickey Mouse (on my laptop) and The Oscars (TV).  He loved clapping along with the audience (!), but was not as happy when his bedtime rolled around.  Neither was I to lose my cuddle buddy; however, I got a surprise at 4 am when Max woke up.  I know he just wanted to make the best of our remaining time together.  Right, Max?  I cuddled with my boo as he watched Mickey on my laptop and I did my best to stay awake.  Fortunately, Bayard (Max’s dad) got home late that night and came to collect his little cub after hearing us around 6 am.  (Thanks again, Bayard.  I love your son tons but that extra sleep was certainly needed.)

Monday, Monday.  I made the Best. Decision. Ever. to take the day off and spend it with Max.  After having morning playdate with his dad, Max and I got ready to spend the day with our friend, Sadie.  The Wonderful Sadie who gave me a few hours of freedom to get myself showered and out of the sweats and run a few errands.  I missed Max but it was nice to remind myself of the actual Single Girl in Chicago lifestyle that I lead. 

After his nap, Sadie & I gathered up our boyfriend to meet Stef for a trip to… The Disney Store!!  We all had so much fun, but not as much as Max.  He literally ran around for an hour grabbing every stuffed Disney characters and bouncing ball within his reach.  He couldn’t have been any cuter, and truthfully, he was very well-behaved as a 1.5 year old could be in his version of a candy store. 

Eventually we had to burst Max’s bubble and head back home to prepare for the return of his parents.  I was so excited for this family’s reunion, as I know his parents missed him as much as he missed them. This is truly a beautiful family- inside & out- and I am honored to know them. 

Between you and me, everything is different now: From the moment my alarm goes off in the morning to the second I finally fall asleep at night.  Max changed me.  He opened my eyes to a new life in this big, bustling, windy city.  He’s calmed my world down; helped me focus more on the little things; and encouraged me to take more time for myself.  He has also inspired me to Be the Best Version of Myself that I Can Be, so that if I do become a mother (one day far, far away) that I Will Be Ready.  And until that fate, if it does happen, then I’ll play the roles that God’s granted upon me: Daughter, Sister, Relative, Friend, Volunteer, Leader, Max’s Girlfriend (lol), and Supporter to All of the Kids & Families I find myself working with.

This post is dedicated to The Elfvin Family: Thank you, Max, Michelle & Bayard for this unbelievable experience and letting me be a part of your lives.  

this moment contains all moments.   Leave a comment

This moment contains all moments. (C.S. Lewis)  Today I recall the moment in 4th grade during our annual St. Mary’s Kennywood Day, when I learned firsthand that when a boy tries spitting on you from the swings it’s not because he doesn’t like you but that he does.  That summer day in June 1994 may be responsible for my lack of understanding in the World of Boys, or perhaps rather it painted the picture a little too clearly: Girls will never-ever be able to fully understand boys.  As a 10-year old girl in overalls and a crooked ponytail, I had no idea what lay ahead of me.  All that mattered was what was happening in the moment.  Nothing else.   

This moment contains all moments.  If asked how many times I’ve been in love, I’d probably mistakenly say, “Once”… overlooking a possible in love situation back during my high school days.  After all, doesn’t everyone typically have their first love (and first heartbreak) in high school?  Okay, let’s just say I was in love with him; or at least very much in like.  A best friend for years, I found myself as a senior disheartened by the fear of the unknown of life after high school and therefore, clinging to the comfort of his familiarity.  Although he had liked me for years before, he didn’t feel the same then.  Worried with the moments that lay ahead, without him by my side, my first heartbreak set in.  Remembering the pain of that time convinces me that I was in love…in an 18-year old kinda-way.  It was then that I forgot to enjoy the moment at hand and instead focused more on what the future could hold.

This moment contains all moments.  Like clockwork, every Friday evening in the winter of 2009, typically around 7 pm when I got home from the gym, I found myself battling a panic attack.  In my new 1 bedroom apartment in my nearly friendless new city, Chicago.  As I tried to catch my breath, I found myself getting more worked up as I wished I was joining friends at Happy Hour in Columbus.  Why did my gut instinct tell me to come to Chicago?  What am I doing here?  But two years later, I look back on those moments with clarity and appreciation.  For those weak moments have helped define who I am today.

This moment… right now… contains all moments.  Each adventure and every lesson is with me today, in this very moment.  This realization came over me yesterday, twice in fact, as I engaged in individual conversations with my friends, Stef and Michelle.  As we bonded over shared experiences and overwhelming insecurities, and I found comfort in knowing I’m not the only one, I realized how far I’ve come.  That I am who I am; I know what I know; and I feel what I feel because of everything I’ve been through.  Those guiding moments are always with me- whether always aware or not.

We go through life questioning why things happen and then trying to figure out what they mean.  Most of the time the answers are not as easy to find; and in other cases, we may not find them until we stop trying so hard to make sense of it all.  Instead we Live in the MomentAccept that the Past Guided us to the Present MomentLet All Those Moments Take Us Towards the Next Moment

This moment right now does contain all moments, but this moment will also be included in all moments that are to come.  And in this very moment there’s something important that I want to say.  (Attention: The walls are coming down.) 

I don’t feel as though I’ve been clear about my writing on this blog.  To put it best, this blog is like a journal to me.  At the end of a long day, I turn to it for reflection.  When stressed at work, I take a break to seek its comfort.  And when I have questions or unfamiliar life experiences, I turn to it for guidance.  So for these reasons, the main person my blog is for is me.  Everything I write in it, all of the reflection, comfort, and guidance is for me.   For me to remember all my moments and how tomorrow holds all of yesterday’s moments as well as today’s.  For me to remember that I am the product of my good days & bad days; my strengths & weaknesses; my loves & heartbreaks; the confusion & clarity; and yesterdays, todays & tomorrows. 

(Walls breaks down further.)  Several moments of my distant past caused me to lose trust (in others) and even myself.   But so many moments since those adolescent days have me trusting again.  This moment contains all moments, and is allowing me to be stronger, braver, and wiser than any other yesterday.  Those moments have made me and that’s all the clarity I really need…and for people continue to help me overcome my trust issues.

 

Days turn to night, Night turns to whatever we want. We’re young enough to say, “Oh, this has gotta be the good life.  This really could be a good life.”

Song of the Moment: Good Life by One Republic

even a kiss on new year’s eve isn’t ‘just a kiss’.   4 comments

Some people say that “it’s just a kiss”, and as you get older you’ll mostly hear “it’s only sex” and/or “marriage is just a piece of paper“.  Do me a favor: Don’t believe these things.  If ‘a kiss is just a kiss’, then why do you sometimes find yourself with weak knees and butterflies in your stomach?  Explain that, cynics! 

On our early morning car ride to Columbus last week, Stef and I found ourselves in a discussion that I’m going to refer to as, Some Girls Do and Some Girls Don’t.  Simply put, we were discussing those girls that 1) always seem to have “met the love of my life” and 2) act so carelessly when it comes to boys, relationships, and everything in between.  Those are the ones that act like a “kiss is just a kiss”but what about the rest of us?  What about the girls that actually care enough to embrace that first kiss and take pride in calling him “my boyfriend”? 

And to be fair, because after all boys have feelings too (!), what about the boys that find themselves asking their girl friends for advice on their latest crush and taking weeks to finally ask the question, “Will you go out with me?”  Those guys are out there, and in fact, I know some of them. 

But this post is about one specific boy.  A boy who has liked a girl for a very long time.  A boy who has been very patient with this girl and pretty much accepted that the girl will never feel the same about him.  But this same boy recently experienced something special with this girl.  On New Year’s Eve, of all nights.  Yep, they shared a kiss.  After midnight.  And from what I’ve been told, there was a little make out session that went on too.  Whether or not a third-party (named Alcohol) truly placed a role in this event for a little ménage à trois is yet to be determined, but no matter, New Year’s Eve or not, this incident definitely deserves an explanation for the sake of two friends that shared their first kiss.  Like I believe, a kiss isn’t ‘just a kiss”.

Once upon a time…in my early Post-College days, I let myself believe that a kiss was only a kiss.  I was Heartbroken. Lonely. Confused.  I didn’t know myself well enough to understand this too shall pass.  I fell into the trap and soon, while I hate to admit it, I let myself mistakenly believe that I deserved to be in a “relationship” categorized as none other than, “Friends with Benefits“.  And as the story goes… I fell victim to the misconception that “it’s just sex“.  But I learned my lesson.  Many lessons.  And yes, I do regret some of the decisions my sad heart allowed me to make, but I am also grateful to have learned these lessons before making them again.  

And while I cannot say the same for my friends, I proudly admit that my lips were sealed on New Year’s Eve.  Other than the guys I was with, I could not tell you what a single guy in the bar looked like.  So, why would I kiss someone just to kiss someone?  Whether it’s New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, or any other ordinary day for that matter, why kiss for the sake of just kissing?   Been there, done that.  Quite frankly, the truth of the matters is, there’s nothing better than that first kiss with someone you truly like.  Someone that gives you butterflies.  Someone that makes your knees go weak when he says, “I really like you.”  Someone who makes you feel like you’re the only ones there in a crowded room. Someone who you know is worth waiting for.  Someone who deserves you, as much as you deserve him.  I know it’s tough, but I promise you that it’s always worth the wait.  Just Be Patient. 

While I’m extremely bias, I end this post still hoping that the kiss my friends’ shared was more than ‘just a kiss’, but only time will tell.

they say, one day you’ll look out your door and you’ll find you’re right where you belong. in that moment, you’ll know love so sweet and that feeling you’ve known it all along.   Leave a comment

For the second time this week, I found myself lost in thought sitting at a table amongst friends- new & old.  While the places and faces were none of the same on Monday and Friday night, the thought was: Why am I not living in Ohio?  Both nights, as well as Thursday night with two of my best friends, Brandon & Libby, reminded me how good I feel when I’m back ‘home’.  The reason I feel good is because of the company I’m surrounded by.  (For years now), they’ve shown me exactly where I belong.  For some reason, Sorry Pittsburgh, Ohio has proven to be the place for me.  My Happy Place.  The place where I feel most “me”.  The first place where I truly have always felt that I belong.

On Monday night, at a bar near my old apartment in downtown Columbus, Stef apparently answered a question from earlier in the day, but one that I wasn’t aware of.  (For me), out of nowhere, she replied, “The People.”  Without even knowing neither 1) that an earlier question was asked nor 2) what the exact question was, Stef’s answer clicked with me and I buzzed in with: What is “what is your favorite thing about Columbus”?  Ding. Ding. Ding. 

Now let me say that I’ve heard the jokes about Ohio & Ohioians before, from many stubborn Pittsburghers- especially one.  And while I’ve learned to tune them out, I will continue to respond that I not only love Ohio but I love it the most because of its people.  From Ohio’s simple enjoyment of playing cornhole and screaming O-H (I-O) at all hours of the day/night to their loyalty to bleed Scarlett & Grey 365-days a year.  And the simple fact that every Target in Ohio is better than the best Target in Chicago.  I love Ohio and have ever since my love affair with Ohio University began as a teenager.  And as time goes on and I meet more of Ohio’s best, my love continues to grow.  Actually, I think it’s best to say that I remain in love with Ohio because of its people.  So I agree with Stef.  The best thing about Ohio is “The People”.  On all three nights in Ohio, I sat amongst friends perfectly content with where I was and whom I was with.  There was nowhere else I wanted to be.   

Tonight is the last night of my 10-day holiday break (and tour di Pittsburgh & Ohio), as I fly back to Chicago bright and early tomorrow, quite similar to how I arrived last Wednesday morning.  In thinking about everything that has occurred since that day and everyone that I’ve been able to spend time with, it certainly feels like it’s been longer than 10 days.  The amount of things that I’ve been able to cram into this past 1.5 weeks is remarkable.  Even so, I may have to argue that it hasn’t been enough time.  As I reflect on the people who have made this break so enjoyable for me, I find myself wishing that I had a suitcase large enough to pack them up for tomorrow’s flight.  Or perhaps the persuasive powers to convince them all to move there with me. 

Because we’re friends, or something like that, I’ll let you in on a little fantasy that my post-New Years Eve mind concocted on the ride home from Cleveland today.  Somewhere between Strongsville, OH and Cranberry, PA I recreated the ever-so infamous airport scene that has been played out in many romantic comedies and TV shows.  Like Friends.  Yes, in my own version I recreated the infamous Ross & Rachel airport scene from the series’ finale.  But before you get any ideas, let me explain that there was no boy playing the role of Ross in my fantasy.  (But of course it would have been nice.)  Instead, the character was played by “O-H-I-O”.  Yes, I imagined “Ohio” chasing me down at the airport and begging me, “Don’t get on the plane.  Stay with me.  Be with me.”  

Now I’m going to assume that this fantasy-sharing session brought a grin to my friend, Kristin, and she may even be already on her way to Pittsburgh International Airport to stop me from getting on tomorrow’s plane.  (I love you.)  But the truth of that matter is that it is just a fantasy.  Tomorrow morning I will be getting on that plane, leaving Pittsburgh and flying over Home*Sweet*Ohio, only to arrive in my actual (current) hometown of Chicago, IL.  And while I’ll spend tomorrow missing my friends & family, I know that I’ll be okay once I get back into my routine (aka lots of volunteering and kid therapy).  

So thank you, Pittsburgh and Ohio, for welcoming me back with open arms and gracing me with 10 days of clarity and A.MAY.ZING. dates with friends and family.  It was great to be back again. 

And Ohio, thank you for giving me a place to call my own; making me feel that I belong; and allowing me still love you even after I left.  (Remember: It wasn’t you, it was definitely me.)  I will continue to miss you more each day, but I promise you’ll see me again soon.  After all, you know I cannot stay away from you too long.  In fact, I’ll be back February 18th if not sooner.  Take care of my lovelies for me and let them know that I’m only a short Megabus ride away.

Song of the Moment: How I Love You by Rob Laufer

friends say the words your heart says, but the difference is you like the sound of your friends’ voices better than your own.   Leave a comment

Me: “I feel like I can be myself.”

Julie: “That’s how you should always feel.”

For those of you who don’t yet know her, Meet Julie.  The beautiful friend I made during my freshman year at Kent State and one of my dear Ohio ladies that dreams about our joint-return to Columbus…one day (maybe)- and this year I was honored to serve as Maid of Honor in her wedding to one of the greatest guys I know, Ken.

With Juls living in Akron, she plays the (over-casted) role as one of my long-distance best friends that I constantly play phone/text tag with.  However, last night, after postponing a quick afternoon call while I waited for the train, we finally got a chance to chat.  As always, our conversation contained many “I wish you were here to go on a Meijer run” (a familiar activity of ours when we both lived in Columbus) and plans for Ken & her to visit after the new year. 

Yes, visit me in Chicago…in the winter.  I know.  I tried talking them out of it but they wouldn’t have it.  They must really love me.

Getting back to our call, I’ll share that my conversations with Julie always end up being very heart-felt and sincere.  She, like many of my girl friends, are the ones that I feel like I can’t be anything but honest with.  They allow me to be myself with them.  And last night, Julie literally told me exactly that. (Note the lines I shared above.)  With Ken watching football in the background, Julie preached to me one of life’s most important lessons: Be Yourself.  Such simple words, but exactly what one cannot hear enough and hearing them from Julie is quite impactful…because she,too, wears the shoes that I wear.  In other words, Julie has battled the same demons as me: Learning to Love Herself.

Ken has helped Julie so much, which is one of the reasons I admire and adore him.  He’s an Aidan and I’m so happy that Julie can call him her husband.  But while he’s been able to help Juls, he hasn’t fought the battle for her.  As I’ll remind her in times of weakness, she is the warrior that has fought off  the dragons. 

And she’ll tell me the same.  Like last night, she said the words that I needed to hear, reminding me that the struggles are behind me and I’m starting to feel the way I should have felt all along.  The way that I should always feel from now on.

Stef shared this quote with me a few months ago, as it’s quite relevant to our friendship and the shared bond that we have over the obstacles we’ve faced.  Well this also aligns with Julie and our common struggles and personal growth.  Both friends remind me that sometimes you need another to tell you that, “It’s going to be okay,” but that it’s even more beneficial to hear it from someone who knows exactly what you’re going through and can say with understanding, “You’re going to be okay.”

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one ~ C.S. Lewis

let me have a moment: hakuna matata   Leave a comment

It’s only 9 am out here in Chicagoland and I actually allowed myself to “sleep in” til 8 am this morning.  Somehow being up for 1 hour, and really only ‘up’ for 30 minutes, I find myself stressed.  It will all be fine when I walk outside, in the cold air, in an hour or so.  But for now, I’m reminding myself to breathe and drink coffee from the Hakuna Matata mug Alisha sent me.  You’re the best, Sis!

While this long weekend has granted me amazing opportunities- in the form of volunteering- I’ll admit that it’s been quite frantic.  In the shower this morning, I (frantically) told myself- perhaps even outloud- that “You cannot do everything.”  But I sure have tried this weekend, and succeeding for the most part.  With the exception of this morning’s stressor, which is a work-related incident, I can say I’ve done fairly as I played the role of Super Volunteer, NFL Games Volunteer Coordinator, Child Life Extraordinaire, and, oh, Cat Sitter.  (Although Phoebe, Sarah’s cat, may disagree as I never ended up staying as long as I planned, but she was fed on time- for the most part.)

However, I feel as though I’ve done a horrible job at performing other roles, including Friend, Daughter, and Sister.  Other than a few texts, Facebook messages & “Happy Birthday” posts, and 2-fifteen minute phone calls with my mom, I’ve been lacking in the family and friend circuit.  Looking at unanswered calls, texts, FB messages, and emails, I just feel like a bad friend to so many people.  Thank God for Stef and our dates on Thursday and Saturday nights, which were definitely saving graces for me this weekend.  Not only did she help me relax (a bit) and have fun, but she also helped me feel like I wasn’t completely absent in the Good Friend category.  Thanks so much, Stef!

AND…I’ve been a non-existent working-outer…which is a MUST as soon as I have time!!  All I want to do is run my tired legs off and do hours of yoga. 

Okay, I feel somewhat better, which is the reason I took this time to put a post together.  But the show– that is this weekend- must go on…and this girl needs to get ready to head down to Solider Field and promote at the Bears Game.  Oh, and feed Phoebe before I catch the bus!  Seriously, is this weekend over yet?

Anyways, before I head out to get ready, let me say a huge THANK YOU to you for letting me take this time to allow myself to write (my therapy) and breathe.  And to my friends, some whom read this little blog of mine, I promise you I’m fine.  Exhausted?  Yes.  But fine.  I’m very much looking forward to walking through my apartment door tonight, ignoring the dirty pile of laundry in the entry way, and curling up in OU blanket and responding to some messages and emails.  And maybe, if I’m not too tired, beginning to fill out some of those grad school and Child Life internships applications.