Archive for the ‘people are crazy’ Tag

honest words from a very tired girl   Leave a comment

Sooooo much to say.  But given the fact that I just got home (surprisingly sober) and my alarm is going off in less than 3 hours, I’m going to keep this post very, very short.  To be honest, if I had time and energy to write then I’m not really quite sure what I would say.  See, tonight was extremely interesting.  Besides my friends, tonight was evidence of why I question my place in Chicago.  If you only knew the things I saw…

Again, I could so much but then again I’m not even sure where to start.  There’s a lot on my weary mind right now…including many questions about many topics…but right now I think it’s best to just hit “Publish”; turn off my light; cuddle up under my covers; and think about how I’m going to see little Hazel and George in 11 hours.  They are exactly what I need right now, as well as quality time with Rebecca and Adriana. 

Good night.

the kindness of strangers…and craziness of others   2 comments

After a 6 am flight from Memphis, I finally made it back to Chicago earlier this morning.  I have absolutely no intention of leaving this apartment today and enjoying this 1-day weekend of mine.  Tomorrow is Monday….rut-roh….but I’m not going to waste this day complaining about that.

I have to give a shout-out to my friends in the South for this wonderful hospitality and general kindness.  Also, for sharing their love for grits with me!  While everyone was wonderful down there, two Southern Belles looked out for me: Sondra and Donna.  Now both ladies were on my canceled flight yesterday and had the pleasure of accompanying me on the 6 am-er this morning.

One of the topics of conversation was none other than my life in Chicago.  Once again I found myself giving the “living in Chicago is different then visiting” and them agreeing and supporting this “experience” in my life.  I had a relevation during our morning coffee talk (Starbucks of course).  Sondra, who has lived in Mississippi her entire life and was a young mother (as a teenager, I believe), found my lone-adventure to the big city quite admirable and uttering the infamous line, “I wish I had the courage to do that.”  I used to say the same thing to people, like Ruth and Jay, who took the initiative to explore and ride the roller coaster of life.  They are my inspirations and the reasons I looked fear in the face and said “I just don’t care” and made the move to The Windy City (gasp) almost 2 years ago!  But as I opened up with to Sondra and and Donna, and Adriana imfamously said to me a few weeks ago, I think that Chicago is slowly breaking up with me, meaning my time here is ticking away.    You live and you learn, and sometimes you learn that it’s just not what you want or what you need.

After arriving at O’Hare Airport, I found myself on the train with one of Chicago’s many crazies.  No exaggeration, this guy was I.N.S.A.N.E.  In a matter of 2 minutes, he was playing the harmonica, dancing around the train car, reciting some sort of religious prophecy, and talking to someone.  Oh it feels (fill in adjective) to be ‘home’. 

The commute to my apartment wasn’t all bad as I found myself talking with a fellow airport commuter, Monica.  We had a great conversation about life in Chicago and the reality of the world we live in.  She shared something with me that her aunt said to her when she moved to the city 13 years ago: You cannot be a perfectionist any longer.  Riddle me this, riddle me that.  As I discovered, Monica is a lot like me and I understand what she meant  by this advice. 

Call it morning grogginess or downright exhaustion, but I said something to Monica that I really haven’t voiced to another stranger before (other than my blog network, but hey, we’re friends now.)  Anyways, I said that Chicago has made me cold and bitchier.  I’m not my social self here, unlike how I am back in Pittsburgh, Ohio, and even in other cities (like Memphis, for example).  Immediately upon my relocation I was shocked by the lack of manners people have as the thank you’s  were rare and doors were literally slamming in my face left-to-right.  Also, as I’ve mentioned to other friends, I swear I can sense crazy here.  Like the guy on the train today, even before any word was said or harmonica was played, I sensed something was off- even before fully looking at him.  I feel like I always have to be on guard here, never knowing when someone is going to snap.  (Not kidding.)

I’m not myself here because I don’t feel like I can be.  How can I call this my ‘home’ if I feel that way? 

Pure and simple, I cannot.  These past few days a lot of people have asked me where I’m from, and without thinking I have responded, each and every time, “I am currently living in Chicago.”  Anyone want to psychoanalyze that response?  

I could probably go on and on, but I think a workout is more important that my rambling, so I’ll spare you.  But I’ll leave you with this:

I constantly stress the importance of my friends and family  and the influence that they have on me.  I look to them for advice, guidance, and support.  They are soundboards for my random thoughts and anxiety-riddent emotional breakdowns.  I never feel like I can thank them enough, and so I will continue.

However, I rarely point out the influence that strangers and random folks have on me.  Today is just one example of the people that touch my life in unexpected ways.  Sondra, Donna, and Monica are just three of those people that have helped me see things in a different light.  In a way they’ve helped me grow by forcing me to re-connect with myself and possibly change my thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

People come into our lives every day, and some we converse with, while others we observe.  Rarely do we realize the impact that these people have on us because we’re too caught up in our own little world.  Cough…cell phones…cough.

This weekend, I realized how I’m looking for answers, or perhaps approval, from certain people in my life- my mom being one of them.  But today I sit here reminded that the only approval I need is from myself.  I have the answers within, but I just need to listen to me more.


The stuff that we go through in life- the negative and the knocks- we can choose to take us down, or we can choose to stand up or rise up and make us even more brillant and beautiful.  (Mia Michaels, So You Think You Can Dance)

thank you, skinny jeans   Leave a comment

Unfortunately I don’t have time to write a full post this morning before I leave to catch my flight to DC, but I had to say something.  First, Jen, thank you for looking so HOTT in your skinny jeans that it inspired me to get my own.  Girls, go get you some!  You CAN pull them off.  I never thought I could, especially after trying a pair on a few months ago and striking out miserably.  But like anything in life, if you don’t succeed then try, try again. 

So I’m a little frantic this morning but things eventually came together.  After showering and making sure I had pants on, I ventured over for some Starbucks magic.  One of the coolest girls in the world, and someone that reminds me of my dear friend Adriana, Dale was working this morning.  We had a great talk about the crazies of Chicago- inspired by three different insane people that just so happened to all still be in ‘bucks at the time.  As I told Dale, when I walked past the one, I could literally sense her craziness.  That’s what my life has become here in Chicago.  It’s my sixth sense.  Lucky me. 

Dale informed me that five minutes ago, that women walked through the store mumbling some sort of shenanigans and then proceeded to the bathroom where she yelled for a few minutes.  And this is why I adore Dale and my other barista friends.  She said it so calmly, like it’s an everyday occurrence in her world.  Wait…oh yeah it is, and in my world too.  That’s why when people tell me how wonderful Chicago is, I take a deep breath and tell respond that there’s a difference between living here and visiting. 

Anyways, I’m running out of time so I just want to share that my new skinny jeans were truly heaven-sent this morning.  I’m so glad I did my hair and make-up and wasn’t still in my pjs because I ended up taking the elevator downstairs (which I never do) and riding it with my hot neighbor boy- who I haven’t seen in a long time.  We had some simple impromptu chit-chat, which was quite enjoyable.  He’s cute and seems like he may be a good guy too. 

A new crush?  Why not.  Actually I had an interesting life-changing (exaggeration) conversation last night with the dear Joe Zummo that even caught me off guard.  To back-up, Joe is friends with Casey but they haven’t kept in touch since college.  For some reason my zombie-like brain felt very comfortable opening up to Joe about my past crush- nothing TMI but still I said things that I only wish I said years ago.  You know what, I’ll share more later because it was a real eye-opener, ‘walls coming down’ moment for me.

So thank you, skinny jeans, for helping make this morning a little bit brighter.  And hopefully hot neighbor boy thanks you too. 

Have a good day, my blog world friends!

oh baby, baby, it’s a wild world it’s hard to get by just upon a smile   2 comments

Another night, another adventure on Megabus.  By now I’m sure we’re all shocked to hear that Megabus was somewhat on time last night- if you count ten minutes late ‘on time’.  Then again, I guess we didn’t depart then, so scratch that.  Megabus was not two hours late which unfortunately did happen to my poor friend, Adriana.  (Still sorry about that hun.)  At that time I was just happy to unload my bags and have a seat to myself, and even happier that I remembered to bring a pillow and blanket this time.  But looking back I should have seen the signs that we were in for an adventure.  First, the bus driver mistakenly either 1) didn’t realize that Cincinnati was in Ohio; or 2) had no freakin’ idea where she was driving too.  And I can say this because I’m kinda-sorta a blonde…she wasn’t even blonde.  I know, the stereotype gets old,  but it was a long night and my creativity isn’t quite there yet. 

Anyways, we boarded the bus and YES!!! the wi-fi was working.  And then it stopped.  While I was trying to log back on, the driver slammed on the brakes and started yelling,  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?  You cannot get on the bus here.”  Apparently some crazy women thought our bus was her bus and tried crossing in front of it in the middle of downtown Chicago to get us to stop.  Yeah, instead of going on about her stupidity, I’ll just say people are crazy…including our bus driver.  OMG.  She was a horrible driver.  It was impossible to sleep on that bus because she was continuously slamming on the breaks.  Do you really need to break that much when you’re driving on the Interstate?  Who am I to judge?

So yeah, let’s just say that I was happy to finally wake up and see the beautiful sunrise over OSU’s Horseshoe football stadium this morning.  Columbus, I’m home!!  As soon as I got off the bus at 7 am this morning (Eastern Time!  Love it.), I bee-lined over to my home for the day, Starbucks at Nationwide Arena, for a day of working remotely AND I have a lovely lunch date with the wonderful, Jen Morel.  She informs me that we will be having sweet potato fries (Love Love Love) as she needs to gear up on carbs for her half-marathon with Matt tomorrow.  I also feel the need to give a shout-out to the baristas here.  These three girls are so bubbly and their happiness is a bit contagious.  I LOVE OHIO!  Seriously, Chicago, what is wrong with you? 

Okay, that’s a perfect segue into what I was going to blog about last night- if I had wi-fi on the bus.  So I dropped into Akira last night on my way back to panic-mode packing at my apartment, and I’m so glad I did.  I have a new (gay) boyfriend!  I honestly have no idea what my secret is.  They love me and I love them!  So Bradley hit on me, okay he flirted with my A.MAY.ZING. turquoise Hunter rainboots, which I felt ridiculous wearing since it was no longer rainy by the end of the day.  But hey, if the ‘boys’ love them then it’s all worth it.

So Bradley (new beau) and I chatted awhile, and since he was fairly new to Chi-town I gave him my contact information.  Why not?  I mean if I cannot get a straight guy to ask me for my digits, then why not throw it around to the gays in town?  Before leaving, we talked a bit about where he lived before.  To simplify it, he’s lived a bunch of places (including LA and Miami), but most recently lived in Boston (which he characterized as being ‘stuffy’ and not really his crowd).  I don’t know exactly why, having just met him, but I found it very coincidental saying that Boston isn’t the scene for me.  Call it intuition.  Anyways, Bradley said that so far he loved Chicago because the people are ‘so friendly and always smiling’. 

Me: Really?  In Chicago?  I don’t recall many people smiling at me?  (Other than the gays that crush one me, oh and the homeless.)  Seriously though, to me, and this is generally speaking, I don’t get the whole “people in Chicago are so friendly and nice”.  Yes and HELL NO.  I have never been surrounded by, and unfortunately influenced by, such negativity.  I tell people that since moving to Chicago I have felt like I have to be bitchier. 

In thinking about that now and realizing that I don’t have to be anything but ‘me’ here in Columbus, I have to ask is that right?  Why should I have to change anything about me in order to fit in and/or survive somewhere?  How can I obtain the happiness I desire if I feel like I cannot simply be me…non-bitchy me?

I just sent an email to Darlene mentioning that even in my headcold, groggy state, I just feel so relaxed sitting here at Starbucks in downtown Columbus.  Sure it’s familiar to me.  I mean I used to bar-hop in this area and my old apartment is 5 minutes down the street.  I’m sitting here with three bags and no means of transportation (for the time being) and I really don’t feel one ounce of stress right now.  Gosh, I’m so bi-polar about this whole moving back to Columbus thing, but honestly right now I cannot help but wonder why I’m not staying here after the weekend is over.  And I haven’t even seen any of my friends yet and I feel this way.  Oh boy, my head is going to be messy this weekend…and add all of this wedding stuff into the mix.  Bring it on!  Afterall, I have cold medicine and wonderful friends to help me through all these thoughts and daydreams of mine.

While packing last night, my Sex and the City ringtone went off- indicating that one of my girl friends was calling.  I assumed that it was either Julie calling me back or one of the girls that will be in C0lumbus this weekend for Kristin’s wedding.  Wrong and wrong.  It was LIBBY!! 

Now I’ve mentioned by dear friend before, but here’s the background on us.  Lib and I met during my sophomore year at OU (her freshman year, and also my first year at OU) and after a few months of being acquaintance/friends, we realized that our friendship was going to stand the test of time.  Along with Brandon, I think it’s safe to say the Lib was one of my best friends in college.  We were one another’s rocks and really still are.  No matter how ridiculous things sounded in our heads, we always need that the other was there to listen to us.  It’s the kind of friendship that you cannot force, but rather it just works out naturally.

With Lib now living in Atlanta and me in Chicago, we haven’t gotten to see one another in about 2 years.  Additionally with our schedules we also play a lot of phone tag and FB wall postings and “I miss you” texts are our most common forms of communication.  It’s tough, but as we discovered last night, we’ll always be there for one another no matter how much time passes nor distance is between us.  Still it sucks that we cannot physically be there for one another…and I was reminded of that last night. 

Now I’m not going to indulge you in the details of our conversation because some things really are best to be kept between my lovely Libby and me.  But in essence, Lib is going through the same things that I’m going through: Questioning anything and everything.  This is really why Libby and I are such good friends and always will be.  We not only think way too much about things, but we doubt ourselves and our capabilities.  To others we have it altogether all the time, but things are not always how they appear on the outside.  Like other twentysomethings, we are trying to figure out who we are and where we want to be/go.  The world is just so big and it’s easy to get lost. 

Lib and I have worried ourselves sick over every topic imaginable, and you know that we’ve gotten through each stressor.  And we’ll get through this too.  In talking to her last night I really just wished that I could bring over a bottle of wine (or two) and hash through all of our doubts and insecurities in person.  Hopefully soon.  But at the end of our call I thought that these issues will most likely have dissolved by the next time we talk.  That’s just how it is with us.  We are both stronger than we realize, but sometimes you just need a friend to remind you of that.  Lucky for me, I have many friends who remind me of this every day.  Thank you. 

And thank you all for bearing with me through this post.  I don’t think I got as much sleep last night on the bus as I had hoped.  I’m trying to bypass the second cup of coffee until after my sweet potato fries and good friend time.  I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and I’ll check in again when I can.  I’m sure I’ll have such life-changing things to say after Kristin and Jim’s wedding and my weekend back ‘home’ in Columbus.  If I can leave you wish just one last thought, it’s this:

Take a moment out of your busy, stressful day and just smile.  Smile at someone- maybe a child, an elder, a mother, a father, a cute guy/girl passing by.  Smile at something that makes you happy.  Smile when you think of a past memory, or perhaps a past love- someone that even hurt you but you can smile now just knowing that they helped you become the person that you are today. 

Or you know what, smile just to smile.  No one has to be around.  And in fact smiling just for the sake is probably the best thing you can do…for yourself.  We’ve done this to finish up yoga classes before and of course you feel foolish, but you also feel so much better.  Trust me. 

friday night shenanigans with the morels   2 comments

It’s 6:30 pm CT on Saturday evening, and while there are hundreds of things I could be doing right now…but none of them are appealing to me.  I actually have 2 Netflix DVDs that have been staring me down for the past month and my body isn’t responding to their “Finally watch me!” plea.  The fact is I’m not even in the mood to be lazy right now.  I admit that I was pretty comfy underneath my OU sweatshirt blank watching Monday’s episode of Gossip Girl but I somehow haven’t found my way back there yet.  Soon.  Very soon.  And when I make it back there I don’t really see myself leaving for the rest of the night.  Happy Saturday night to me!  Actually, this is exactly what my mind, body, heart, and soul need.  Trust me.  With one…two…three…four…five different cities; 3 Megabus trips; 2 flights; 2 weddings; 1 rehearsal dinner; 1 annual meeting; and many, many last-minute workouts over the course of the next 15 days, I think being lazy is the best prescription.  Does anyone object?  No. Good.  I rest my case.

Now I just have to figure out what ‘being lazy’ entails because as the go-go-go girl in me, the term is quite foreign.  Although I’m thinking that Netflix probably wants their movies back soon so perhaps that’s a good place to start.

Today has been a completely unconventional day, but for good reason.  The ever-so-lovely and entertaining Jen and Matt Morel arrived from my beloved Columbus, OH last night around 7:30- 8:00 pm.  Jen’s ‘We’re here!” phone call instantly re-energized me, giving me hope that  I could survive the night out with my guests. 

Oh, let me mention who Jen and Matt are.  I met Jen while I was living in Columbus 2-2.5 years ago through our work on the monstrous Ohio AFHK Zone 8 conference.  Having survived that together is enough reason for me to believe that our friendship will stand the test of time (and distance).  After the conference, Jen and I started grabbing lunch together every so often, which was always great.  But unfortunately with the relocation stopped our regular lunches, but I think we’ve snuck 1 or 2 in during my ventures back to C-bus since the move.  (And lucky me has a carbilicious lunch date with her on Friday when I’m in town.)  Anyways, this was my first time meeting her husband, Matt.  All I can say is that he’s so wonderful!  They are an A.MAY.ZING. couple, and I like the fact that they are very independent individuals as well. 

After dropping off their stuff at my apartment and getting ready, we were on our way. 

First stop: Wilde’s for a round of drinks.  It’s my new favorite place to take guests, ever since falling in love with its atmosphere AND sweet potato fries on New Year’s Day.  So with beer for them and a glass of Riesling for the wine lush (aka me) we started the night out perfectly.  Can I say it over and over again- I LOVE THIS PLACE.

We left and headed towards Wrigleyville for our next adventure.  It was a great, somewhat chilly walk as we made our way through Boystown- joking about taking Matt to Roscoe’s with ‘the boys’.

On our way to the Wrigleyville bars, we found ourselves heading into Lucky’s– after Matt saw the Man vs. Food sign above the front door.  Apparently the guy ate 3 of their sandwiches in under an hour, with these sandwiches being the kind that Primanti Bros. in Pittsburgh made famous.  (Pittsburgh is my hometown, and where my parents and brother still reside.)  Anyways, Jen and Matt ended up getting 2 pitchers while I finished my club & vodka- since they unfortunately didn’t have wine.  (Note: Beginning of a big mistake realized later that night/next day.)  It was 11 pm and at least Jen and I were a bit tipsy (and probably more tired than we realized), so we opted to get a (very big) bucket of Cajun fries to fuel up for the rest of the night.

Third stop: Uberstein.  Now let me tell you about this bar.  First thing, they had the wonderful hooks underneath the bar, which Jen and I loved!  (I know, we are the coolest of the cool.)  Jen and Matt ordered their huge beers (see photo) and I again was stuck with drinking a very, very strong club and soda.  So this isn’t my typical go-to drink of choice (when wine isn’t an option).  Not I’m thinking, I should have drank Strongbow last night.  PS. I just cannot drink beer.  (Allergy maybe?)

Okay, when we first go to the bar it wasn’t that crowded.  But within 15 minutes, I felt like I did last summer when I was back in Athens for Amanda’s wedding.  1. Sober; 2. Old; 3. Annoyed; 4. Out of my element.  Reasoning being that we were surrounded by drunk Depaul (?) students everywhere.  Nothing against college kids nor Depaul at all, but it just isn’t my/our scene anymore.  Plus Jen was so disappointed in the scene there.  Example, here’s her FB status from last night: @ Chicago hofbrau drinking a liter and they’re playing Bon Jovi. Don’t get me wrong I love Bon Jovi but where’s the oompah band and dancing on tables?????

Her disappointment/frustration was so adorable. 

After finishing (or mostly finishing) our drinks, we jumped in a cab to go to Kingston Mines.  To give you some background on the choice of this establishment, Matt had visited this blues club when he lived in Chicago for a few months.  Neither Jen nor I had ever been there, but we were up for the adventure.  And boy did we get one.  I am so mad that I didn’t bring my camera last night to have evidence of what we witnessed.  There were so many that unfortunately I cannot remember them all.  Not only did we get another round of drink (more Riesling for me!) but it was at least 12:30- 1 am by now and all three of us had long days/weeks behind us….but we were still going as strong as possible. 

The first wish I had a camera to document this shit moment was Lady in Red.  It is impossible to describe the ridiculousness that was this woman.  She wasn’t young nor was she slim nor attractive.  (All which is fine.  No judgement.) But she was attempting to ‘rock’ an extremely too-tight red strapless tube-top dress with a crocheted red shawl AND sparkling black fish neck tights.  Or were they red too?  And I think her shoes were a hot mess as well.  She also had stringy bleached blonde hair.

Now I am absolutely not crowing myself as God’s gift to men nor fashionista extraordinaire, but I have at least learned what works and what doesn’t work for my body type.  She has not.  End of story.

So the club was pretty cool, especially when we went to watch the night’s last performance.   But again there were characters all around us.  It almost made me feel like Jen, Matt, and I were completely sober (which we were not) since we were not also engaging in such shenanigans.  Lady in Red definitely stood out, but there were also these 3 Mexican guys that were dancing to the Shakira and Beyonce songs in their heads or something.  There were a few make-out sessions going on here and there, but I found myself watching these two (obvious) stoners and hoping that the girl would give the guy the time of day; however, all she wanted to do was dance, dance, dance with herself. 

Now being an OU alum and a former resident of Ohio, I know high people when I see them.  So based on some of the characters in the club, I expected that some pre-game smoking festivities had gone on amongst our evening’s entertainment.  I swear this is true.  So the manager said TWICE on stage at the end of the band’s performance for people not to drive and to take a cab, if they were ‘too high’.  Swear.

It was at least 2:30-3 am when we left Kingston Mines.  We took some backstreets on the 10 minute walk back to my apartment, and to my unplanned surprised, we ended up right in front of The Weiner Circle.  (Click of this link to find out more about this Chicago hotspot.)  If you watch the video, I’ll point out that it wasn’t as crowded nor crazy as that night, but it was still an experience in itself.  Especially because the Crazy Messiah Man was there too.  (This guy randomly shows up all over Lincoln Park/Lakeview and yells out random ‘messages’ from the Messiah.  He’s a little creepy, especially at 3 am.)  We finally made it back to my apartment for the highly anticipated bedtime.  I think Jen was in her pjs within 5 minutes of walking in the door. 

Unfortunately Jen and Matt had to head out this morning, but not before a trip to my favorite neighborhood Starbucks.  I really wish they could have stayed the entire weekend, but I know they’ll be back later this summer/fall.  Cannot wait!  I really enjoyed my time with them last night and our conversations.  Jen knows that I had a rough time adjusting to Chicago last year, but as Jen has pointed out, this is my time to enjoy this wonderful city while I can.  Chicago really isn’t that bad- and actually it is pretty fantastic when you have A.MAY.ZING. people like The Morels to venture around with.  Like most of my other friends, I wish they lived here.  Seriously, why can’t I just move all of my friends here, into my apartment building like FRIENDS?  If only life was that simple.

Like we discussed last night, there are so many fantastic things about Chicago that I feel fortunate to have.  And there are wonderful pros to living back in Columbus.  When I’m around my Ohio friends (either here or there), I cannot help but spend time thinking about where I will be in a year?  In five years?  Where will I end up?  Sure I’m curious, but right now I’m really okay with where I am…even on the rough days.  Now that may change if I do not get the Child Life internship at Children’s Memorial, but there’s no use worrying now.  Pingers crossed, of course.  But whatever will be, will be…

One last thought.  So my previous post was about the questions and anxiety I’ve been feeling as a result of the relationship/wedding/baby fever that has consumed by rational thoughts these days.  With being around Jen and Matt last night, I am against bless to be surrounded by happy, loving relationships.  Of course it makes me want it for myself; however, I am just going to keep believing in love until my time arrives.  And if you’re single (and a bitten and/or feverish too), don’t give up.  Love always finds a way…