Archive for the ‘Dina’ Tag
Birthday girl, Dina, ironically gave me a gift yesterday in the form of serenity and clarity as she shared this quote: “Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.”
First let me say that while my previous post was quite honest with how I was feeling at the time, I’m not sure if it was entirely fair to two people: Cute boy in the green shirt (whose name I’m choosing not to share) and myself. While I’m hesitant to admit it and fall victim again to “The Jinx”, I had a good time on Saturday and glad I took the ballsy route and, dare I say, picked him up. So even though my last post made it sound like my mind is still set on another, it’s not. My heart is as open as it’s ever been, and I say that because I’ve come a long way.
Without rambling much here, I’ll acknowledge that besides battling a broken heart for a few years, my spirit has been broken for some time too. I’m not here to dwell on that but rather state the facts. I closed my heart a long time ago and I think it’s time to (slowly) open it again. Afterall, be loving, and you will be lovable.
So I guess this can be construed as an apology to many people- including all the friends who I failed to trust and those boys who I wouldn’t allow to love me. I also owe myself an apology for holding myself back so many times before. And lastly, to the cute boy in the green shirt who I kissed on the rooftop overlooking Wrigley Field, I promise I won’t play my games with you.
If someone were to ask me how my week went then I might very well have to plead the fifth. I’ve crammed so much into these last few days that I’ll fail to remember it all. However, I will report that I’m feeling much better since my last post and, for me, that’s what matters the most.
Wednesday was a jam-packed day- in a good way- and also the day that turned my emotions around. While I enjoyed an evening (with mimosas) with Michelle, Kristen, and the kids (Max and Keira), it was my time with Dina after work that really changed my perspective on the matter that was draining me. Now I’m keeping our conversation between the two of us, though I will share a two-word phrase, spoken by Dina, which is one I will continue to carry with me, “Trust Yourself.”
I hate to admit this but life has made me a bit cynical. I’ve been betrayed by ‘friends’; victimized by high school politics; battled anxiety for most of my life; and suffered from life-alternating heartbreak. Despite having doubts & fears plague my past, I’m happy to report that part of my life is over. I, Kristen Medica, have grown enough to (finally) whole-heartedly Trust Myself. I trust that I know myself well enough to ignore the doubts & cynicism and go after everything my heart desires.
Remind me that I’m older, to be brave, smart, sweet, and bolder. I’ve begun viewing this past week as a necessary time for reflection. On Wednesday night, I opted to walk home from Michelle’s for some alone time with Chicago. For that 60-75 minute walk through street lights and raindrops, I found myself overcome with serenity. Despite the passerbys and sounds of frantic drivers, I felt like the city was mine to enjoy some peace & (as much) quiet (as possible). See I was able to tune everything out, including my always-thinking mind, and listen to my heart. And all I kept hearing was Dina’s voice saying, “Trust Yourself.”
My past is a huge part of me, particularly because it’s filled with struggles and obstacles that I’ve learned to accept (now). Instead of dwelling on the past and allowing it to how me back with a fistful of regrets, I truly appreciate each tear, frustrating moment, and bad day because I Am Who I Am Today Because of What I’ve Experienced and Overcame.
Date A Girl Who Reads by Rosemarie Urquico
(In Response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date An Illiterate Girl.)
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book.
It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.
*To Dina: Thank you for sharing this excerpt with me so that I can share it with all of the readers & writers out there; and hopefully help those beloved boys that are looking for the good girls. We know they’re out there….sometimes it takes a journey to find the good ones. XOXO
“Oh, and when you figure out, Love is all that matters after all. It sure makes everything else, seem so small.”
Carrie Underwood sang these words (to me) and captured my attention today as I rode the bus this morning on my way to our new work office (finally) in downtown Chicago. I thought of Max. I missed Max. But I am so glad that his parents are back in town now because we both missed them soooooo much!!
Actually that’s a perfect segue into what I want to say first. Max’s parents, my dear friends, Michelle & Bayard, truly deserve an A*MAY*ZING. Max is the well-mannered, kind-hearted, adventure-seeking, lovable little boy because of his parents have done such a remarkable job of raising him. I’ve told them both this and will continue to do so, and my hope is that they really do believe me. I feel blessed to have all three of them in my life and so grateful that Michelle & Bayard trusted me enough to look after Max this weekend. They are most certainly family to me, now more than ever. Seriously, Michelle & Bayard, and little Max too, thank you for welcoming me into your family! Love you all!
Now, let me officially declare my love for little Max. While this weekend was a rarity for the Single Girl in the City (aka Yours Truly), I worry that words will not accurately express how special this weekend was for me. So please be aware that as I type this post, I have a huge smile on my face and a heart filled with gratitude for this experience.
Yesterday, on my final morning with Max, I called my mom and the first words out of my mouth were, “Okay, so you may very well get those grandchildren you’ve always hoped for.” While all my friends (especially those with kids) joke that this was ‘the best form of birth control’, I must admit that it’s only temporary as I realize that I’m just not ready…yet. For now I truly believe that my place is to continue my volunteer work and be in my friends’ kids lives. Who the heck knows what my future holds, but for the first time in my life I really do believe that (my own) children could be a part of it.
This weekend with Max really was incredible, filled with smiles, laughs, hugs & kisses, and lots of running around. I loved every moment of it! This was certainly one of those precious times in life when one finds himself/herself perfectly content with where he/she is. I felt like I was where I needed to be and, honestly, where I wanted to be too. While we had our share of fun these last few days, my favorite moments with Max were when he let out that cry every morning that translated into “Kristen, I’m awake. Come get me. It’s time to play (and eat) again!” And play we most certainly did. With the help of Max’s other girlfriends- Sadie, Stef, Dina, and Lonni- we found ourselves playing A LOT this weekend.
We kept things simple on Friday, staying in other than a quick trip over to see Dina at the MAW staff for some ball playing. Now staying in with Max means that we played a lot of soccer, ventured around many condo floors, watched many episodes of Mickey’s Clubhouse, and ate (literally) tons of food. Now if that’s not the perfect Friday date, then I don’t know what is?
However, Saturday was a completely different story as Max and I found ourselves venturing off to the suburbs to volunteer for Make-A-Wish with Dina and our new friend (another girlfriend of Max), Lonni. Yes, Max was the Make-A-Wish mascot and hands-down the best looking, most irresistible boy there!! Seriously, how adorable does he look in this tee-shirt?! And while he certainly did his fair share of running around, I have to say that Max behaved himself quite nicely. (Note: He is NOT drinking from that Coca Cola bottle in the photo. He was just playing with it.)
I have to take the time here to thank Dina & Lonni for playing with us on Saturday. Max was sooooo happy to flirt with 🙂 and I am so appreciative for their kindness in entertaining my little boo.
After a playdate on Saturday afternoon for Max with his girlfriend, Sadie, and my own lady date with Lonni and Dina, I headed back to prepare of our slumber party with Stef. Max was so happy to see his other girlfriend, Stef, and even welcomed her by showing off his Mickey Mouse balloon. When the exhausted little man went to bed, Stef and I continued our catch-up session with girl talk and a mini-Keeping Up with The Kardashians marathon(because we can).
Sunday finally came and we were ready to take Max out on a special date: To Shedd Aquarium. Stef & I were so excited to take him and enjoy quality time with our little boo in one of the best places in Chicago. Waiting in line outside worried me a bit but Max found it as a(nother) opportunity to play, forcing me to chase him around in circles. (He’s a man of routine.)
We finally made our way into the aquarium and Max began enjoyed all of the fishies and sea creatures. We roamed around exploring the different sections, finally making our way to the sea otters and dolphin areas. (Note: I could sit by that dolphin tank all day writing, and one day plan to. It’s so peaceful.)
Finally we found the penguins (!) and Max LOVED playing in the little play area- riding the slide and climbing through the tunnel. Although, he sadly wouldn’t humor me by wearing the penguin outfit. (Michelle, I tried just for you!) Upon making our way upstairs for the dolphin show, Max got to ride in an elevator (Note: He loves elevators!) with a penguin!
Max enjoyed the dolphin show- and climbing up and down the 2-3 stairs in the aisle- but he was definitely getting tired. Yep, Nap Time! Max passed out in the stroller as we trekked back home for a quiet evening in…before Dad got home! Max and I enjoyed our final date night (at least for now) by simultaneously watching Mickey Mouse (on my laptop) and The Oscars (TV). He loved clapping along with the audience (!), but was not as happy when his bedtime rolled around. Neither was I to lose my cuddle buddy; however, I got a surprise at 4 am when Max woke up. I know he just wanted to make the best of our remaining time together. Right, Max? I cuddled with my boo as he watched Mickey on my laptop and I did my best to stay awake. Fortunately, Bayard (Max’s dad) got home late that night and came to collect his little cub after hearing us around 6 am. (Thanks again, Bayard. I love your son tons but that extra sleep was certainly needed.)
Monday, Monday. I made the Best. Decision. Ever. to take the day off and spend it with Max. After having morning playdate with his dad, Max and I got ready to spend the day with our friend, Sadie. The Wonderful Sadie who gave me a few hours of freedom to get myself showered and out of the sweats and run a few errands. I missed Max but it was nice to remind myself of the actual Single Girl in Chicago lifestyle that I lead.
After his nap, Sadie & I gathered up our boyfriend to meet Stef for a trip to… The Disney Store!! We all had so much fun, but not as much as Max. He literally ran around for an hour grabbing every stuffed Disney characters and bouncing ball within his reach. He couldn’t have been any cuter, and truthfully, he was very well-behaved as a 1.5 year old could be in his version of a candy store.
Eventually we had to burst Max’s bubble and head back home to prepare for the return of his parents. I was so excited for this family’s reunion, as I know his parents missed him as much as he missed them. This is truly a beautiful family- inside & out- and I am honored to know them.
Between you and me, everything is different now: From the moment my alarm goes off in the morning to the second I finally fall asleep at night. Max changed me. He opened my eyes to a new life in this big, bustling, windy city. He’s calmed my world down; helped me focus more on the little things; and encouraged me to take more time for myself. He has also inspired me to Be the Best Version of Myself that I Can Be, so that if I do become a mother (one day far, far away) that I Will Be Ready. And until that fate, if it does happen, then I’ll play the roles that God’s granted upon me: Daughter, Sister, Relative, Friend, Volunteer, Leader, Max’s Girlfriend (lol), and Supporter to All of the Kids & Families I find myself working with.
This post is dedicated to The Elfvin Family: Thank you, Max, Michelle & Bayard for this unbelievable experience and letting me be a part of your lives.
~ Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale. ~
One of my little BFFs, Michella, asked me yesterday if there was a boy (in my life), to which I gave a blushing “Maybe… Kinda…I don’t know…I hope so” response. The 7-year old (going on 17) then requested, “Do you have a picture of him on your phone?” Now who am I to deny a little girl the right to join me in some innocent Facebook stalking, but with my phone locked up in the office downstairs I made the decision to forgo my stalker ways for the afternoon. “Maybe next week, Michella,” which I have a feeling she’ll hold me to.
She then asked me, “Well, is he a soft guy or a hard guy?”
Me: “He’s a soft guy. It’s impossible not to like him.”
Michella: “Good, then you’re going to be together. You just will.“
Let me reiterate that she Michella is only seven-years old. Is it not beautiful how children see the world? So pure, so innocent. Why does age persuade us to complicate the world when it is best seen with simplicity
? Michella’s optimism makes me See the World the Way it Should Be Seen
. And this, my friends, is one of the reasons why I love working with kids. They have this power to wipe the cynicism from your worn-out eyes with a single smile.
While it’s refreshing to hear a child’s optimistic point of view, especially on one of life’s precious matters, it may be best to hear the truth from one of your peers- someone who knows all about fantasy vs. reality. Someone who’s believed in those same dreams & fantasies, and experienced the joys sorrows that real life brings. Enter Dina. My dear friend and mentor. While our life stories have different characters and settings, somehow our personality traits and plots align quite nicely. So if I have to hear the truth from someone, Dina is definitely the one I choose.
After reading through her email this morning, which was in response to yesterday’s post
, this quote immediately popped into my head: Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale of all. (Hans Christian Andersen)
To shine light on the reasons why her words touched me today, I’ll share this part now:
The key is to believe that it is possible and that you deserve it, and to allow it to happen when you do find it… and make sure that he knows what you are all about when you meet so there are no surprises.
She said more. Much more. But that’s for my eyes only. Okay I’ll share one more thing, that pertains to all my love confessions for (the fictitious, yet remarkable) Aidan Shaw. Dina’s truthful words spoke: The difference is that Aidan was an actor…Nittin (her husband) is the real thing. He deserves the “Aidan” crowning. He also deserves Dina’a heart.
The fact of life, Real Life
, is that there aren’t many Aidans in this world. BUT, thankfully, there are some out there. Aidans are Guardian
Angels disguised as humans, walking amongst us trying their best to fit in. However, they don’t blend in too well. In fact, they downright Stand Out
. Shine Brightly. Maybe even Sparkle a bit. The Lucky Ones catch their eye. The Worthy Ones are the only ones deserving of Their Love. It’s neither that Aidans are arrogant nor pompous, but it’s more that they know what they are looking for. They know they deserve the best and won’t stop until they find Her. For He Will Be Loved the Way He Deserves to Be Loved.
I wasn’t quite sure how to end this post, but I think I do now. Based on my experiences and those I observe, and those love stories that I crave, I’m going to make an assumption: We don’t always recognize a good thing when it’s right in front of us.
Speaking on behalf of myself and the ladies here, we grow up believing in those fairy tales and waiting for the fireworks to literally go off when we find Prince Charming. But the truth is, Prince Charming isn’t real. Aidan really is a character played by John Corbett. But boys like Nittin, Ken, and Nick are out there. They are real. They are the guys that we spend our life waiting for. But sometimes we’re so used to waiting that we don’t always realize when the real thing arrives. If you have any doubts, just pinch yourself. Let yourself know
that it’s real. Don’t waste any more time waiting. Remember that those Aidans don’t come around every day. If you have one, a real one, then don’t hold yourself back. I promise you if you don’t make him yours, then someone else will. ♥
I know I’m stressed or tired when I talk to my mom about boys, and I’m both stressed and tired when I bring up Casey to her. While my mom is one of my confidantes now, it wasn’t always the case- due to my own lack of appreciation for her (most likely), so talking to her about boys, let alone the one who (both) had and broke my heart was certainly off topic for us. But the day came when I finally opened up to her, but to this day I still don’t think she gets it. How can she (?) since I don’t get it either?
Today I did say his name, but it was unlike any of those other few times before. Today I said, and I quote, in my rambling, stressed & tired state of mind, soul, and body, “It feels so good to not be thinking about Casey anymore.” It really does.
With the exception of today, and even amidst all of the go-go-go these past few days, this week has gone fairly well. How could it not when I spend 3 days in the presence of remarkable kids and 2 days with a dear friend? Simply put, things have gone fairly well and I’ve felt really good. I’ve been happy. Now I’m not exactly sure what the catalyst is, besides the fact that I spent hours upon hours in the presence of newborns, toddlers, and inspirational little warriors (kids). I personally think there’s a bit more to it. I think I’ve found out where I belong.
Yesterday I shared that I saw Love and Other Drugs last night and that my review was still being processed. In talking with my mom earlier, when not about boys, I mentioned that “it will be one of those movies that I’ll watch over and over again to explore the notions it presents and how those personally appeal/connect to me.”
Without re-watching the movie today, I found myself on the bus back from Soldier Field, following my conversation and epiphany via my mom’s phone call, thinking about the theme that I took from the movie: That it’s okay to need someone else and not always rely only on yourself.
I’ve taken care of myself for so long, especially these last two years, that I confide in my friends that I think I’ll always be single because I don’t know how to let anyone take care of me. Like other anxiety-ridden and tired nights, tonight I found myself feeding fuel to the fire of this irrational belief that no one will ever be able to let me let him in.
But after thinking my talk with Dina on Wednesday (wow, that was Wednesday?) as she shared her own stories, I know that it takes the love of the right guy to hold your hand as you continue along the path you’ve chosen to follow. Thinking about my friends’ loves- Dina included- and the reassuring gift of hope that I’ve recently received in the form a wonderful guy, I see it more clearly than I have in a long time, or perhaps ever. As for the latter, even if this guy turns out to be another friend along the journey, I’ll take it. Anyone that can restore my faith that there are good guys still out there is someone who I hope will always be in my life, in whatever capacity I’d be fortunate to hold. He’s a rare find, that one, and will make some girl extremely happy. No doubts here.
For at least the second time in the past month, my mom instructed me, during one of our phone calls, “Don’t run away.” Well Mom, I promise you that I won’t run away anymore. Not now. Not next time. Not ever.
Songs of the Moment: Parachute by Ingrid Michaelson- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gza-E4k_1OE and Maybe by Ingrid Michaelson- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKU3UuJhIxU&feature=related
Maybe our mistakes make our fate…without them what would change our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart…and if you’re a very lucky person, just a plain ride away. ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
I always think of my girlfriends when I see this quote, especially my Sex and the City Ladies- Ruth, Kristin, and Sarah. We used to try figuring out which of us was Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha, and Carrie. In my opinion, Sarah is definitely Samantha and Kristin is Charlotte. Ruth is probably more of Miranda but definitely has her Samantha moments. Leaving me as Carrie. Yes, I’m probably definitely a Carrie…Maybe with some Charlotte moments.
Where the heck am I going with this? See, this is what happens when I see this quote and start thinking about my ladies. So life has taken us all in different directions (literally): Ruth is in Northern California, Sarah is living in Bermuda (seriously!), Kristin is married and a home-owner in Columbus, and me, little Ms. Carrie Bradshaw, is analyzing the world from her apartment in Chicago. Well, this week I’m analyzing it from Cincinnati, Ohio- surrounded by the toys of two adorable children, Hazel & George, and their inspiring mother, Rebecca.
So what’s on my mind these days? Fate. Destiny. Serendipity. Call it what you will, but we all know what this means: The belief that our life is pre-determined. That ‘everything happens for a reason’. We’ve all heard that line before, whether we want to or not, but do we believe it?
Yesterday after a brief call with my mom, I received an unexpected email from my friend, Dina. Her lovely, thoughtful, encouraging words really touched me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you, Dina. Both my mom and Dina brought up- in their own way & words- hit on the concept of fate; of destiny; that everything happens for a reason. That people come into our life when the timing is right…for both of us. This was Dina’s point, not my mom’s. My mom thinks that it should just happen every single time I walk out the door. BAM! instant BFFs. POOF! love of my life.
Back to Dina’s point: It’s all about timing, ladies & gentlemen. So often, too often, we get so frustrated when things don’t pan out the way we want them to. I, too, fall into this category so I’ll speak for myself. We think that we’re absolutely, 100% ready for that job to be ours, to meet “The One” that we’ve been waiting for; however, we need to realize that in those scenarios, especially the latter one, that another party is involved. Therefore, it’s best to remember that even if you’re ready, perhaps the other person isn’t- yet.
Patience has never been my best quality. My own father will tell you that without a mere second thought. However, in my defense, I have gotten much better over the years. Andy Warhol said it best, “The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.” True, true. Though let me add to that by saying that waiting for something helps you realize whether or not you really want it. But even if your decipher that you’re ready, perhaps the other part of the equation (the perfect job or the perfect guy/girl) isn’t quite ready for you. What do you think of that?
When you meet the supposed love of your life at twenty years old, it’s impossible to comprehend that it is not the right time…yet. It may be perceived as foolish, but instead it’s merely evidence that you have A LOT of growing up left to do before the time is right. As a wiser twenty-seven year old, I can tell you that timing is everything. Time provides us with the experience to discover who we are; take chances; and learn from our mistakes. Time allows us to figure out what we really want and what we’re willing to fight for. To quote (or paraphrase) a line from Sex and the City 2, which I just saw for the first time tonight: “Time does not matter. When we see one another, it’s wonderful.”
I know, all of my thoughts are fairly transparent as they center around people specifically. Yes, L.O.V.E. is a common factor in everything I’ve mentioned above- but not just romantic love. All of these may pertain to friends, family members, or mentors that have played a role in your development. See, new people enter (and re-enter) into our life each and every day, but (unfortunately) not all of them remain in our life. An example: When I was in middle school, one BFF after another slowly disappeared from my life. I couldn’t understand why and, as a result, I blamed myself for pushing them away. I look back now and realize how little I knew about life, about friendship back then. Not every friend you make is going to be in your life forever. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault. That’s just how life is. As the line goes, everything happens for a reason.
But there are certain people who Fate brings to us, as Destiny whispers the secret that they are meant to be in our life forever. At times we just know ‘it’ at the first sight of them or through a bonding conversation. From there we cannot imagine life without them as we find ourselves feeling a sense of completeness with our other half by our side. Although, life isn’t always fair. People come and go. No rhyme nor reason will explain why…but time will. Over time we can see all of the answers that we spent sleepless nights and tears searching for. The answer is that sometimes we need these people in our lives to guide us along our path and sometimes those people need us to do the same for them
We really don’t think of it like that often, do we? That we come into another’s life to help him/her finding what they are looking for; to help them grow along their journey. Perhaps they needed someone like you to inspire and/or encourage them to keep fighting for what they want. Maybe you met them to introduce them to the love of their life. Fate does exist. People are meant to be together- in whatever context you like to believe in. However, it’s not always the way you think it should go.
Once upon a time, I met a guy that I believe(d) was my fate, my destiny, my everything happens for a reason. I waited patiently and very, very impatiently for years, believing that we were meant to be and therefore, time will bring us together again- somehow, someday. I fought the pains that showed me that he (us) was what I really wanted. But now, I foolishly admit that I really may have had it wrong all along. Instead I contemplate the real reason he first entered my life many years ago. Maybe, just maybe, he came into my life to remind me of where I came from? Or maybe, just maybe, I came into his life to remind him?