Every now and then, I’m reminded of a post I wrote about a year and a half ago. It’s a post that many have thanked me for writing because it comforted them to know that someone else had experienced the same loss, pain, and heartbreak as they have. The post is called, Regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made. who would have known how bittersweet this would taste.(http://livelovelearnbreathe.com/2011/03/30/regrets-and-mistakes-theyre-memories-made-who-would-have-known-how-bittersweet-this-would-taste/), and I can tell you know that it’s nothing more than a memory from the past.
But I’m not here to write about the past… nor the pain one endures from a broken heart. Instead I am here to provide evidence that one can overcome heartbreak and learn to love again. Just like Jennifer Aniston, I, myself, am proof that love can find the wounded.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers to how one finds love again- nor does (my friend) Jen. But, I’ll speak for both of us and say that the only way to find love again is to take chances and never give up hope.
I’ve been with Cubby for 4 months, and while our relationship has its ups-and-downs, I will admit that he has made me believe again. Yes, the guy I met on a random Sunday Funday has stolen my heart and helped me see that love is possible (again).
So if I can do it… despite all of the bad luck, heartbreak, and frustration… SO CAN YOU!!!
Me: “I feel like I can be myself.”
Julie: “That’s how you should always feel.”
For those of you who don’t yet know her, Meet Julie. The beautiful friend I made during my freshman year at Kent State and one of my dear Ohio ladies that dreams about our joint-return to Columbus…one day (maybe)- and this year I was honored to serve as Maid of Honor in her wedding to one of the greatest guys I know, Ken.
With Juls living in Akron, she plays the (over-casted) role as one of my long-distance best friends that I constantly play phone/text tag with. However, last night, after postponing a quick afternoon call while I waited for the train, we finally got a chance to chat. As always, our conversation contained many “I wish you were here to go on a Meijer run” (a familiar activity of ours when we both lived in Columbus) and plans for Ken & her to visit after the new year.
Yes, visit me in Chicago…in the winter. I know. I tried talking them out of it but they wouldn’t have it. They must really love me.
Getting back to our call, I’ll share that my conversations with Julie always end up being very heart-felt and sincere. She, like many of my girl friends, are the ones that I feel like I can’t be anything but honest with. They allow me to be myself with them. And last night, Julie literally told me exactly that. (Note the lines I shared above.) With Ken watching football in the background, Julie preached to me one of life’s most important lessons: Be Yourself. Such simple words, but exactly what one cannot hear enough and hearing them from Julie is quite impactful…because she,too, wears the shoes that I wear. In other words, Julie has battled the same demons as me: Learning to Love Herself.
Ken has helped Julie so much, which is one of the reasons I admire and adore him. He’s an Aidan and I’m so happy that Julie can call him her husband. But while he’s been able to help Juls, he hasn’t fought the battle for her. As I’ll remind her in times of weakness, she is the warrior that has fought off the dragons.
And she’ll tell me the same. Like last night, she said the words that I needed to hear, reminding me that the struggles are behind me and I’m starting to feel the way I should have felt all along. The way that I should always feel from now on.
Stef shared this quote with me a few months ago, as it’s quite relevant to our friendship and the shared bond that we have over the obstacles we’ve faced. Well this also aligns with Julie and our common struggles and personal growth. Both friends remind me that sometimes you need another to tell you that, “It’s going to be okay,” but that it’s even more beneficial to hear it from someone who knows exactly what you’re going through and can say with understanding, “You’re going to be okay.”
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one ~ C.S. Lewis