Archive for the ‘always believe in love’ Tag
Every now and then, I’m reminded of a post I wrote about a year and a half ago. It’s a post that many have thanked me for writing because it comforted them to know that someone else had experienced the same loss, pain, and heartbreak as they have. The post is called, Regrets and mistakes, they’re memories made. who would have known how bittersweet this would taste.(http://livelovelearnbreathe.com/2011/03/30/regrets-and-mistakes-theyre-memories-made-who-would-have-known-how-bittersweet-this-would-taste/), and I can tell you know that it’s nothing more than a memory from the past.
But I’m not here to write about the past… nor the pain one endures from a broken heart. Instead I am here to provide evidence that one can overcome heartbreak and learn to love again. Just like Jennifer Aniston, I, myself, am proof that love can find the wounded.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers to how one finds love again- nor does (my friend) Jen. But, I’ll speak for both of us and say that the only way to find love again is to take chances and never give up hope.
I’ve been with Cubby for 4 months, and while our relationship has its ups-and-downs, I will admit that he has made me believe again. Yes, the guy I met on a random Sunday Funday has stolen my heart and helped me see that love is possible (again).
So if I can do it… despite all of the bad luck, heartbreak, and frustration… SO CAN YOU!!!
I’m pretty sure I speak for every single girl (and probably boy too) when I say that being single isn’t easy- especially during the holidays. There just something about the falling snow and twinkling lights that elicits PDAs, even without the help of mistletoe. It’s not that us singletons are bitter or jealous, but rather we feel taunted by the overload of kisses on every street corner and engagement announcements on Facebook. Again, we’re not bitter…we’re just human. It’s not easy to smile every time you find out another high school ‘friend’ is engaged or hear a valley girl bragging about what her boyfriend is getting her for Christmas on the bus. To be honest, some days it’s just plain difficult. Okay, most days, especially when you’re also struggling to smile through an already-broken heart.
I’m a little disappointed in myself these days. When did I become a cynical girl who stopped believing in true love? When did I begin gagging at the sign of lovey-dovey cuddle sessions at the bus stop? When did I stop spending time with couples at bars asking them how they met? When did I start being one of those sad girls who really doesn’t believe that she’ll ever find love?
The truth is I don’t know how to start believing again. I’m not really sure that I’m capable of doing so granted the sad & cynical state I’ve found myself in lately. Maybe it’s going to take time? Maybe it’s going to take a miracle? Or maybe it’s never going to happen? After struggling for 7 years to get over a first love who never officially knew my feelings (ck) and falling for a guy that I never had a chance of calling mine (“Cleveland”), I find myself grasping for something. Anything that makes me believe again that love is possible for me.
Okay, this is definitely coming off more rash than meant to be, but I guess my point is this: How are broken hearts supposed to be repaired? How can dead hearts become alive again? What is the secret? Who holds the key? There are so many broken hearts in our world today, some of them belonging to very good friends of mine. How can I fix them? How can I make them whole again? How can I help them believe in love again? How can I help them see that they deserve to be loved, and that one day they will be loved again?
Song of the Moment: Dead Hearts by Stars
Katie Holmes claims she dreamt of marrying Tom Cruise in her younger day, as though she knew it was her destiny. So in honor of this morning’s royal wedding, I find myself wondering oh-so-many things (per usual). Do you think Kate Middleton ever dreamt about becoming a (real) princess? Or imagined getting married in a castle in front of hundreds of royals from around the world? And like Ms. Holmes/ Mrs. Cruise, could the newly crowned Princess Catherine have seen a photograph of Prince William in her young teenage years and heard her heart confidently whisper, “That’s the man you’re going to marry” ?
Well today Kate Middleton married her prince- literally- and her magical wedding awakened the dreams of millions of princesses-in-waiting (of all ages) who wished they were in her beautiful designer shoes. But while others idolized the dress, the carriage, and the guest list (umm… David Beckham in a top hat= ‘YUM’, as Sarah put it), yours truly sits here wondering what it’s like to be pronounced husband-and-wife with the man you love.
Even though I’m a girl who swears off needing a boyfriend and whose relationship past (0nly) consists of adolescent boyfriends, going-nowhere crushes, innocent flirting with strangers in bar, and a few (usually under the influence of Red Bull and alcohol) one-nighters, I still dream crazy dreams about finding love and living happily ever after. And perhaps since my love life has been far from a fairy tale, I rely on my dreams to Keep Love Alive in My Heart. Because when you don’t have love in your life, all you can do is believe that it exists and that one day it will be yours.
If I could talk to Katie Holmes or Kate Middleton (Princess Catherine), I’d ask them this question: How do you know that what you’re feeling (towards another) isn’t crazy and, in fact, it’s love?
If you must know, I’ve been fighting feelings for someone lately and struggling to uncover if these feelings are a real or merely part of my crazy antics. I wish there was a mood ring that told you this kind of stuff:
Red means “You’re Insane! It’s just a fantasy crush. Get over it!!”
Yellow means “You’re starting to develop real feelings, as is he, but proceed with caution. Don’t scare him off!”
Green means “Go for it, girl! This could be the real thing. He like you, you like him. Throw your doubts and insecurities away and have fun!!
Mood rings, yes! Can someone please invent those quicky…and make them cute? Great! Thank you! I’ll take two- just in case one breaks.
Okay, back to this whole guy thing. He’s great; and I’m pretty great (most days). But unfortunately in this little real world of ours, that doesn’t mean BAM! Instant Relationship! And to be honest, I’m okay with that because I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now…nor what he even thinks about me- if anything. I just don’t understand how you people do this feelings- relationship thingy. Do you like feeling crazy all the time? 🙂
The other day my grandma shared that she corresponded with my grandfather, who was overseas in the Navy, for a year before they met. For one year they wrote letters back-and-forth to get to know one another. They wrote love letters. It was through those letters, they fell in love and began their 62 years together.
But me being, well, ‘me’, I can’t help but wonder if grandma (or Pap) ever felt like they were crazy for embarking on an overseas love affair to someone they only knew through words on a piece of paper. Did either one, or both, ever think that he/she was crazy for believing that the one they dreamed of loved him/her too? And what was it about those letters that made them believe that this is their One True Love?
I’ll admit that my grandma’s story didn’t only leave me with questions…it filled me with hope and belief. See, what my skeptical side failed to admit (about this guy) is that I cannot help but shake the notion that these crazy feelings aren’t crazy. So my conclusion is this, based on the wise words of Darlene a few months back: Embrace those crazy feelings because sometimes they turn out to be an indication of something A*MAY*ZING. ♥
Song of the Moment: Crazy for You by Adele
Listen, I’m a player. But I shut down my playerness from New Years to St.Patty’s Day just so I can avoid this day. ~Kelvin, Valentine’s Day
I guess it’s appropriate to start off by saying Happy Valentine’s Day to all the Luv-ers out there! And a Very Happy Valentine’s Day to all the single ladies & gentlemen! On that note, let’s get started with this post that I rightfully titled, Why I Love Being Single on Valentine’s Day…Really. I swear there’s no sarcasm here. Call me crazy, but I really do love it.
For one, there are absolutely NO expectations for this Hall-(mark)-day. Gosh, I remember those carnations in middle school and how horrible it was waiting…and waiting to see if you got one. Not getting one was hard enough on a hormonal teenage here, but it was worse watching all the other girls with theirs. However, the best/worst was getting those unexpected carnations, especially the pink (crush) or red (love) ones from a (possibly) secret admirer. Who am I kidding? It was Hampton and therefore, the gossip mills were always aflutter with who-likes-who. Yes, I was one of those lucky(?) girls who found herself- a time or two- dealing with the awkwardness from the post-carnation delivery.
Reason Two: You’re not limited to only one valentine today. 🙂 Unless you’re in love with someone, I think it’s best to be single on three days of the year: Valentine’s Day, Halloween (at least in Ohio), and New Year’s Eve. Think about it for a second. You are literally a fish in a huge ocean of other (mostly single) school of fish. Do you know how many chances you have to meet someone wonderful? How many chances you have at finding the love you’re wishing you had? Doesn’t that change the way you look at February 14th?
With all due respect, today is just another day. Before any haters comment, let me stress that I say this as a completely single. Very single. Maybe a little too single. Would I like to be in love? Of course…with the right person. But you know what, I’d rather be single today- surrounded by all the mushiness and PDAs- than be with someone just to be with someone on Valentine’s Day. I’d also rather have ridiculous love the other 364 days with an A*MAY*ZING guy if it meant I had to be single on February 14th.
Another reason, and probably the last one I’ll write about here, is that being single on Valentine’s Day gives me more time (and money) to celebrate with my girlfriends! After witnessing years of gloomy single girls on Valentine’s Day, I decided to step up my friend-game on February 14th during my junior year of high school. Coincidentally, almost all of my best girl friends were single and therefore I figured it was the perfect time spoil them rotten. So I decorated their lockers with balloons and hand-made cards, and organized a girls’ night out downtown. I like to think it made their boyfriendless Valentine’s Day a little brighter. So I did it again and again, every Valentine’s Day since I was seventeen years old I’ve taken it upon myself- in some way- to express my L.O.V.E. for my ladies, and now some of my best guy friends as well. In fact, this year Michaella helped me make valentines.
(Note: If you haven’t gotten yours yet, it may not have been made- yet. We’ll get to it, or at least make you a post-V Day love card.)
Anyways, Valentine’s Day was apparently created to celebrate L.O.V.E. and this girl has A LOT of L.O.V.E. to thankful for. I may be single, but I definitely have TONS of L.O.V.E. in my life. All I can say is that I am a very lucky girl.
To some people, love doesn’t exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people. (Alfonso, Valentine’s Day)
I love that line so much. For some reason it makes me think of the 1 Corinthians 13:4- Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful. Love is not showy. It’s neither about status nor material goods. Love is not something you have just to have ‘it’. Now if I have it completely wrong and that’s what actually what love is all about, well, then I’m not sure I want it.
Instead, I want an everyday love. I’d prefer a love filled with the simple, little things over the flash and prestige any day. A love with no expectations. A love that is truly about the two people in love and nothing else. “You and me, just us two.” That’s the kind of love I believe in, and the reason that I’m content with being single every Valentine’s Day until I have it. The truth of the matter is, I want someone who likes me. The real me. The groggy, coffee-craving me in the morning. The it’s-been-a-long-week so I want to stay in tonight on a Friday evening me. That’s what I want and I’ll spend many Single Lady Valentine’s Days as I have to until I find that someone.
I’m not an avid American Idol fan, but I didn’t have to watch the show to see the amazing story of one of the auditioners, Chris Medina. The alarm went off on Thursday morning and I heard the story from the radio DJs. I opened the free daily paper only to see a little blurb next to his photo. And then later that evening, I finally got to witness the remarkable Mr. Medina and the Power of Love. If you haven’t yet seen nor heard this story, here it is. Do me a favor and watch this video. Let yourself be reminded of the important things in life and inspired by those special people who live by example.
Chris Medina at American Idol Audition
I don’t want to take too much about from these beautiful people and their story about true love. However, I’ve watched this segment twice now- with chills both times- and one thought keeps coming to mind: Isn’t this how love is supposed to be? Yes, Chris is A*MAY*ZING. That cannot be argued. But when you love someone, shouldn’t you already be committed to in sickness and in health? When you love someone, really love someone, don’t you want to be by their side on the good days and the bad? Wedding or not, aren’t these vows that you willingly stand by when you love someone? Isn’t this what love is all about?
My hope is that you’ll let Chris & Julie’s story inspire you and remind how true love should always be. ♥