Archive for the ‘nights at the bar’ Category

never leave the house without your confidence.   3 comments

I woke up on Friday morning and just laughed at myself.  Actually, I’ve been laughing at myself since then.  I can’t believe I did that!  Honestly, kids, I really can’t.  Here I was, getting ready to leave the bar with my girlies and I pulled another ridiculous, living in the moment move with a boy who I thought was cute when he asked us if he could have our table when we left.  Lol.  Wow, I can’t believe I did that.  I can’t believe I invited myself to stay at the bar (table) with him his friends. Lol.  Oy vey!  You can’t take me anywhere these days…unless you want a good laugh.

To be honest, besides the alcohol, I’m not really sure what’s come over me.  Maybe a lot has to do with me not caring anymore about taking chances and making a fool out of myself.  Or perhaps I just don’t care, generally speaking, so I’m not going to hold myself back from having a good time- and meeting a few guys in the mean time.  Whatever it is, I’m having fun and enjoying the laughs that come the next morning when I shake my head and say out loud, literally, “Kristen, what are you doing?!!”  All that matters is that I have a huge grin on my face that next morning and not an ounce of regret- usually, at least.

As I write today, not entirely sure what came over me on Thursday other than Liquid Courage, I’m reminded about the other times in my life when I seemed to be livin’ carefree and confident.  The summer before my first year at OU, which continued until I fell hopelessly for Casey, was one of those moments when I remember being immune to worries.  To tell you the truth, it’s a time that I always hoped to get back to these past 9-10 years because of the confidence that illuminated from me.  Confidence: The best accessory a girl can own.    It’s so true, ladies.  I swear, if I really could have only one wish for life then it would be to never lose my confidence (again).  Trust me on this.  Not only do you feel A*MAY*ZING, but you will not believe the attention you will attract.  It’s like a Love Potion. 

getting over a guy in 10 days: day 7   Leave a comment

 Thursday, November 24, 2011: The 7th day of getting over “Cleveland”.

I’m disappointed that I have to write this post, but I made a promise (mostly to myself) that I would track these 10 days during my pact to get over the guy I refer to as “Cleveland”.  After doing so well for the first few days, I’m recalling the slip-ups that occured last night.  Yes, I was drunk.  Very drunk.  I have the headache, shame, hazy memory, and a bruise on my shin to prove it.

I have to admit that the downfall started when Jenny’s text accidentally went to him instead on Monday night.  Since then he’s been poking his way into my mind and making me toss & turn at night.  So when I unexpectantly saw a picture of him out last night (Thanks, Facebook.), I let myself get drunk enough for me to forget that such a pact ever existed.  Yes, I texted him; which led to us texting for a bit.  I actually deleted all of the texts last night so I have no idea what was said, but no matter what my guilt is still running high today. 

I miss him.  I know I told him that.  But I didn’t admit to him that I miss him wanting me.  I miss knowing that someone wants me.  I didn’t tell him that I’m having a hard time in several ways and that he has the tendency to make me feel better just by saying, “Hello beautiful.” 

Even though my hangover is getting the best of me today, I know that today is day 7 and I have to be over him in 3 days.  While I may have stumbled these last few days, I haven’t changed my mind that I need to get over him.  I promise, I will.

you and tequila make me crazy- or at least very honest.   6 comments

I’ve mentioned my “No Tequila Pact” before, sharing that I regularly make my friends’ swear that no shots of tequila will be joining us on our nights out.  (Margaritas are okay.)  Trust me, for everyone’s benefit- especially mine- it better if I stay away from it.  Per usual, that was the plan for last night, but there’s a “but” and a “however” unfortunately.  Oddly enough I kept my No Tequilla Pact for most of the night, including a free shot twenty minutes before I (somehow) ended up splitting a shot with a friend.  (I’m not even going to justify that 1/2 a shot isn’t technically a shot.)

So at first I didn’t hold that tequila responsible for the game of 21 Questions that began almost-immediately following that 1/2 shot of tequila, but thinking about it today, well, I may have to hold the tequila somewhat responsible.  (And perhaps that {free} shot of Jager and two glasses of wine.).  I agreed to it, and maybe even initiated it, so I take full responsibility for my actions.  But out of curiosity, I wonder how different my answers may have been if it wasn’t for the tequila.  Guess we’ll never know…

I’m not going to get too detailed here, or at least that wasn’t the intention of my post.  However, I feel it’s necessary to explain that this game of 21 Questions was played with the best friend (guy) of someone who I’m going to start referring to as “The Good Guy”.  Note: “The Good Guy” has been mentioned on here plenty times before, never by name and mostly written about inadvertently, as he’s been someone I’ve had my mind on and find impossible not to be interested in. Trust me on this.  And yes, we hooked up once last winter.  Anyways, somehow I found myself enjoying the company (completely platonically) of his best friend, who through our game I learned had no idea of any past rendezvous until the question was asked and my very honest answers started spilling out somewhere around Question 9 or 10:

Best Friend: Who at this table would you hook up with? 

Me: (Smiled, and playfully avoided answering.)

Best Friend: (Figuring something was up.) Have you hooked up with someone at this table? 

Me: (More unconstrained smiles.) Yes.

Best Friend: Who?

Me: (Being too honest, damn tequilla.) “The Good Guy.” 

To continue with the honesty, I’ll admit that things are a bit blurry from there on out.  Best Friend seemed surprised, but happily so.  Phrases like “at your wedding standing next to him as his best man” and “You said you’ve been in love 1.5 times, does that include someone at this table?” led to a lot of interesting diagloue- including me admitting (under the influence of tequila) that “He is someone who I could fall in love with.”

So yeah, in short that was where the night with tequila took me.  While I semi-pleaded with Best Friend not to say anything, I’m not sure if I really care.  It’s just one of those situations where it really is out of your hands- for now at least.  Best Friend has the information- if he remembers it, after all he had that shot of tequila too- and it’s strictly his choice as to what he wants to do with it.  In a way he is controlling a part of my life.

To tell you the truth, a chance with “The Good Guy” is worth the vulnerability and uncertainty that I feel right now.  Some of my best friends know something of how I’ve felt about him since he came into my life a few months back.  But then again, I don’t know if I’ve fully been able to understand my feelings for him.  In an odd way, I’ve been able to keep it somewhat-cool with him, which really has me questioning the role he could potentially play in my life and my heart.  The honest truth is I don’t know what’s next with “The Good Guy”.  As crazy as it sounds, I really don’t have any expectations right now.  Since learning how truly amazing he is I’ve said, “I could be a very lucky girl to call him mine”  As I said to Best Friend before watching him walk away with “The Good Guy” into the Chicago night skyline, “He’s amazing and even though we, girls, tend to go for the bad boys, I know he is too good not to like.”

Ladies, trust me when I tell you that he is proof that good guys are still out there.

*This post was partly inspired by the song, You and Tequila by Kenny Chesney.

these last two weeks.   Leave a comment

They say When it rains, it pours.  Now I’m not sure who ‘they’ are, but I’m quite certain that ‘they’ came up with this line to foreshadow these last two weeks in my life.  To put it best, and figuratively, it just hasn’t stopped raining.  For the last fourteen days, life has thrown everything imaginable at me- and more.

Ironically, it all began on a rainy night… which included a rooftop kiss that I’ll probably never forget.  And that same kiss is one that probably never should have happened…but it did.

I wasn’t going to tell anyone about that kiss.  It was my plan to keep it between the two strangers that shared it.  No one needed to know about it.  Neither one of us even needed to remember it.  We were drunk.  We saw something in one another.  We got caught up in the moment.  We let the other feel something (again).  It was only going to be the one night.  We were never supposed to see one another again.  We weren’t, but we did.

Last night I walked home from dinner as the raindrops fell amongst the street lights.  Ignoring the umbrella in my purse, I recognized that part of me just wanted to feel the raindrops on my skin and the other part just wanted to feel something.  Each pitter-patter embraced a memory from the last two weeks.  Whether the first meeting outside of the bar, the romantic rooftop kiss in the rain, the texts and calls that followed, or our reunion two days prior, I found myself holding onto pieces that should have been forgotten and/or nonexistent in the first place.  And more so, I questioned why I haven’t fully been able to walk away.

I’ve been struggling to make sense of everything these last two weeks.  I’ve tried recalling the events of that Saturday night and how I let things happen as they did.  I’ve kept my guard up instead of getting caught up in the rush.  And above all, I’ve forced myself to be honest- with him , with friends, and with myself.  All I can ration is that in situations like this, people meet for a reason.  Maybe he entered my life to teach me a necessary lesson, or perhaps I came into let him feel something he hasn’t felt in a while.  Whatever the case may be, I just wish I knew because otherwise I cannot help but wonder if every rainy night is going to elicit memories of that romantic rooftop kiss…and all that has happened since.

life is not black or white. there are always shades of gray. and those lines between right and wrong can be blurry.   2 comments

(I’m back for this post, but still need to stay away just a little longer.)

The good news is that I’m feeling much better.  The aftershock of the panic attack wore off sometime on Saturday afternoon and I made the decision to partake in some girls’ night out adventures.  Though hesitant because of my crappy week, I had no excuses.  So I threw something together, put on my face, and headed out for a date with my city.  With the lights and sounds of cars, buses, and trains in the background, the cool summer night had potential- if I would allow so.  After dinner with the girls and a round of Jager bombs, I decided to let the night take me where it may.

I had no idea what the night had in store, and even looking back I’m having a hard time putting all the pieces together.  A lot happened that night, and because of what happened I’m struggling a bit.  Shades of gray are compromising my mind, and the choice between right and wrong has never seemed so blurred.  But without saying more, even though I’m struggling a bit, I do know who I am and what I have to do.

champagne mornings and vodka nights.   1 comment

My legs are sore; my throat is scratchy; and the dark circles underneath my eyes keep getting darker and darker.  Just the price you pay for spending a weekend with your friends, including those named Champagne & Vodka.  Might I add that it was a four-day weekend too.  Oh, and lucky me woke up this Moan-day with horrible cramps and an early visit from her least favorite monthly guest.

After a weekend in Pittsburgh with my family, I arrived back in town last Monday evening to begin a week of hosting a bevy of guests.  On Wednesday night my cousin, Ryan, and his boyfriend, JT graced me with their presence; and merely 24-hours later, my married friends, Jen and Matt, came up for a long weekend.  Add some lovely Chicago friends into a mix and let the shenanigans roll!  And roll they most certainly did.

Today, the day after the last of my guests headed back to Columbus, OH, I struggle to feel any perks from my first cup of coffee.  I’ve either let the scratchy throat and painful cramps get the best of me, or I’m ridiculously exhausted.  Truthfully it may be both, but the latter is definitely the case.

Getting ready for work took longer than expected:  Nothing looked nor felt right.  (Which means I’m coming home tonight to a bedroom floor covered with clothes. Lovely.)  Somehow I found something to wear, but I can already imagine myself taking off these cute boots as soon as I sit at my desk with the day’s second cup of coffee.

Whether I’m tired or just PMSy, it can’t last too long.  Maybe another day, or two, but that’s all.  Somehow these busy last few weeks have also brought us to August 9th, which means school begins in less than 3 weeks! 

As anxious as I’ve been about getting started, now that it’s so close I cannot help but question if I’m indeed ready for it all.  Am I ready to trade in my champagne mornings for textbook reading sessions at Starbucks?  Am I am to bypass those vodka nights for research papers?  Can I sacrifice my spontaneous play dates with Max and the girls in order to dive into the role of Full- Time Employee AND Full-Time Student?  Am I able to put my carefree single girl lifestyle on hold to follow my dreams- once and for all?

weekend shenanigans with addie, mitch, lana, jordan & kendall   Leave a comment

One of my favorite things about living in Chicago is that friends are always anxious to stop by and play for a weekend.  This weekend I hosted four of my OU besties: Ashley, Mike, Libby, and Jay (pictured left to right).  Note: They may be referred to as Addie, Mitch, Lana & Jordan- which became their (bar) identities to increase this weekend’s antics. As for me, I may have introduced myself as Kendall a half-dozen times (or more). Yes, ladies and gentlemen. These four, along with some of my other Chicago friends, certainly partook in some shenanigans this weekend.  To put it best, they’ll all be back again (asap) if not moving here after a weekend that can only be described as A*MAY*ZING.

I had a blast with my friends this weekend and certainly sad to see them leave this morning. I’m so glad to be able to provide some good old-fashioned fun and more memories from the ones we’ve created since our college days in Athens.

Song of the Moment: Home by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros & Cover by Father and Adorable Daughter