dear twenty-eight and single,   12 comments

I’m not going to sugarcoat it like everyone else seems to do.  I’m not going to tell you that you should celebrate the life that lays ahead of you.  The freedom that is granted to you, and the infinite opportunities at your fingertips.  Nope, I won’t go there because I know, firsthand, how difficult it is to be twenty-eight and single.  I know how lonely it can be to wake up without a boyfriend’s “Good morning, beautiful” text or your Starbucks drink in a to-go cup delivered with love by your doting husband or the cheery calls of an adorable toddler from the room across the hall. 

I know that it’s scary to not know what life has in store for you.  And even though many will stress how exciting the unknown is, I know it’s more terrifying than anything.  I know that you spend more time worrying what you don’t have than fantasizing about what you do.  For example, you focus more on why you don’t have a boyfriend, fiance, or husband rather than being excited that you still have the chance to meet the Love of your Life around any corner, or dark bar.  Or grocery store trip, because for some reason I’ve been told that it’s the best place to meet someone.  (Yeah, I’m not really sold on that, especially since most people at my grocery stores are elderly or obviously in relationships and/or with children.)

I know that when you’re single, at any point in your twenties, you tend to ask, “What is wrong with me?  Why am I still single?  Why am I always single?”  Well, to be honest, I have absolutely no idea why you are single.  Consider this one of the great mysteries of the world.  But what I do know is that you deserve to be loved and deserve to love someone amazing. 

And one day, I promise you, this will come true.  One day you will look back on the time when you were twenty-eight and single and wonder why you ever worried in the first place.  I really do believe this, so I hope you will to.  You are too beautiful, too special to be anything less than ridiculously happy.  Maybe twenty-eight isn’t the year you find the love you deserve, but who’s to say twenty-nine won’t be?

Just remember you are worthy of all the beauty, love, and happiness in this world.

XOXO

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12 responses to “dear twenty-eight and single,

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  1. I know exactly how it feels. I may not be 28 yet (only 21) but I still suffer from that ‘singles blues.’ Here’s to looking for that special someone. (Now where the hell are they?)

    • Waiting can be exhausting. So can optimism. But if you don’t keep believing, trustiing, and, perhaps, hoping, then maybe you hold yourself back. And when I say “you”, I’m speaking to myself too.

  2. Even though I’m not 28, you know I’m able to relate to this. And, as usual, you couldn’t have posted it at a better time. Most importantly, however, I find it only necessary to make sure that you apply these words to your own life. If anyone is worthy of such happiness, it’s you!

    Love you, Sis!

    • A, glad it came at the right time. It really applies to any age, but this was specifically written with a beautiful 28-yr old in mind.

  3. Interesting post. “Just remember you are worthy of all the beauty, love, and happiness in this world.” I love this and believe it is true, for everyone, but the post still seems sugar-coated to me. I am 38 and married for 15+ years, and still have to be intentional about appreciating what I have, instead of imagining I would not sometimes feel lonely with a different partner. My good friend is 50 years old and hasn’t had a relationship, let alone found that “special someone.” Somehow it doesn’t feel right to me to say, “Who’s to say 51 won’t be the year?” I want her to remember she is worthy of all the beauty, love, and happiness in this world, but I don’t think means any of us can expect to receive what we deserve.

    • Emily, I keep rereading your comment and wondering how to respond. Your friend makes me think of myself, and how I haven’t really had luck with relationships and love. I may not be fifty, but I understand what you’re saying. I hope she finds thr beauty in herself that you see. From what ive learned, that is a very important component to finding love and happiness in yourself, which really is what true love is.

  4. I find your posts are very inspiring. Thank you for sharing those thoughts with all of us. Hope you can write more. Best wishes!

    • Thanks so much, Kev! I’m happy that my thoughts and experiences can have an impact on someone. It’s so crazy how much we can relate to one another. I guess it really is a small world where people are united by their similar life issues.

  5. Hey, K! Long time no post but I am just reading this now and feel compelled to comment on this one. I think you are absolutely correct that self-worth and loving ourselves is key, because if we don’t feel we deserve a healthy relationship, it won’t happen. But I also firmly believe being single is a choice, and often a good one, the right one. Many people settle out of loneliness or family and societal pressure, and end up in bad relationships. Maybe I’m biased since I was single for so long, but I always want to respond to sentiments that seem to suggest there is something “wrong” with being single that equates with one’s worth, and I couldn’t disagree more. It’s a wonderful time to have fun, explore who you are and what you really want. I say embrace it, single folks, and love yourself, and then if the right person comes along, and marriage/partnering is for you, you’re in the right place to realize it.

  6. Thank you. Sincerely, 28 year old woman who has never dated.

    • You’re very welcome!! But based on my recent experience, don’t let your past hold you back from something great. As I continue along with my first boyfriend (ever), I’m constantly facing my doubts & fighting off the insecurities that my past caused me. But a good guy is worth all the struggles!!! Stay strong and remember, you’re not a alone.

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