let me tell you a thing or two about the phenomenon known as “friends with benefits”…

No matter what anyone says, I’ll tell you that friends with benefits can work.  I know this because I’ve been in two friends with benefits situations and they’ve helped me understand why they can work, as well as why they can’t.  But I’ll focus on why they can, which coincidentally draws upon why they can’t.  But again, they can work… if you follow a few simple steps:

1. Do not allow yourself to develop any feelings for the guy/girl.

2. Do not allow the guy/girl to develop any feelings for you. 

3. Make sure you really are friends with the guy/girl and not just (something) with benefits.

Yes, those are the rules I’ve learned from my two experiences with friends with benefits.  From the first situation, I learned Rule #1 and Rule #2, and apparently from the second, I learned Rule #3.  To be honest, Rule #3 may be the more important rule to learn because sometimes those first two can be overlooked if the timing is right and Rule #1 + Rule #2= The beginning of a real relationship.

But generally speaking, I really do believe that friends with benefits can work.  But then again, maybe I’m just naive and unrealistic.  Perhaps I want to believe they can work because, well, they are really the only form of a “relationship” that I’ve been fortunate to experience.  Who really knows my issues?  Who knows why I think that a friends with benefits is the way to go?  Whatever the reason, wherever my afraid of intimacy and commitment roots derived from, I still stand by my belief that friends with benefits can work.

But does it?  Does friends with benefits ever prove to be as successful as one hopes?  Do both parties, or at least one, never develop feelings for the other?  Wouldn’t it be fabulous if you could simply enjoy the companionship and “benefits” from someone who just wants to have fun and not be alone too?  Though despite seeming like a good deal, there’s always a twist…and unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned.

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