god, sometimes life really isn’t fair.

My heart broke a little bit more today.  Twice actually. Twice over a 5-minute period.  After hearing about a complication in a friend’s health, I left his hospital room to find myself behind a sobbing woman, whom I presume just lost a loved one.  I walked as slowly as I could just wishing that I could go up and give her a big hug, but I knew that it wasn’t my place to do so.  Instead, I wrapped my arms around me as I followed behind her towards the exit. 

Why is life so unfair?  Why do people have to have to struggle with illness, disease, and loss?  Why do parents have to lose their young children to incurable diseases such as cancer?  Why?  Why, why, why?

This afternoon, as the snow swept through the cold Chicago streets, I passed dozens of people shaking cups of change hoping that someone could be so generous as to spare anything they can offer.  Ever since I was a little girl venturing downtown with my family to Pirates’ baseball games, my heart has mourned for those who struggle to know if there will be a next meal.  Since moving here (over) three years ago, my heart continues to break when I know that I can’t help each person who shivers in the cold and longs for a sandwich. 

Why is life so unfair?  Why do people have to have to struggle to find shelter, food, and comfort?  Why do people have to suffer to meet their basic needs and deal with the pain that comes with an insufficient lifestyle?  Why? Why, why, why?

As I’ve shared in many posts before this, I’ve had a difficult time this past year and found myself struggling with depression.  But what has always helped me overcome these obstacles is remembering that there are many people who are less fortunate than me.  So in other words, my life isn’t that bad and therefore, I really don’t have anything to stress about.  But those with cancer and others without a home, they are the ones that my heart worries for. 

So why isn’t life fair?  Why does a four-year old have to worry about fighting off Neuroblastoma when he should be spending his days playing and laughing with no worries at all?  And why does our economy have to be so rough as to force people to lose their homes, belongings, and families and struggle to find a warm place to sleep night after night?

Life is so unfair.  And it breaks my heart.

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One thought on “god, sometimes life really isn’t fair.

  1. This made me cry.♥ As of today, it has been a year since a girl who I had gone to school with passed away die to having leukemia. She was one of the sweetest girls I knew, and I always thought “God, Why her?” </3
    I hope your friend gets well soon.♥ Best of luck.

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