Friday, November 25, 2011: The 8th day of getting over “Cleveland”.
On day 8, she unfriended him on Facebook and erased the video she once posted to his wall. It’s better if he doesn’t have any recollection of me, she thought. That’s a lie because I know he’s never going to forget me, but I need to forget about him.
It’s been a rough couple of days, and probably a coincidence that I’ve allowed my feelings for “Cleveland” to come back into play again to avoid dealing with the other stuff. While trying to take care of a heartbroken friend, I came into conflict with my own anxiety and sadness- two things that I was able to mask when “Cleveland” was around making me feel wanted and beautiful. Maybe even making me feel like he was somewhat in love with me.
I think I’m going to leave it at this for now. My eyes are pretty drained from crying and my body is still tense from all the stress I’ve felt in the last few days. I think another post may be in order today and if that is the case, just bear with me. There’s a lot of stuff I’ve been repressing and may need to get out.