getting over a guy in 10 days: day 5

Tuesday, November 22, 2011: The 5th day of getting over “Cleveland”.

After last night’s little incident & revelation, I woke up this morning and deleted that last email from “Cleveland”.  I’ll admit to reading through it before hitting ‘delete’, but also must say that I read it without any emotion.  Am I already over him?  Did it only take 5 days?  Did I ever really like him in the first place?   

To be honest, right now I’m not entirely sure what my feelings were.  Physical attraction?  The aftermath of a hookup?  The enjoyment of flattery?  The result of someone wanting me?  The temptation of someone I could never have?  My tendency to go after the bad guys?  All of the above?

Again, I don’t know.  All I know is that I’m in such a different spot that I was during these past three months.  There were nights when the anxious feelings spun my head in circles while my empty stomach felt weakened by uncertainty- Would he call me tomorrow like he said; or would he leave me waiting again?  And now, I don’t even think about him- that much.  Sure, last night caught me off-guard and left me thinking about him a bit more than I’d like to admit.  However, no longer do I wait impatiently hoping for his “Good night, beautiful” texts.  Instead I sit and wonder why I was a fool for three months. 

What was it that made me go against all of my prenotions about guys in this type of situation?  What was it about him?  How did I let him affect me so much?

That’s where I am these days: Trying to figure out what happened to me and how to fully get back to life before “Cleveland”.

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