living alone, here in this place. i think of you, and i’m not afraid.

Closure.  This is ultimately the one thing that people seek following a break-up.  Others may want their favorite sweatshirt back, or perhaps a hot new fling, but most who have ever gotten their heart broken in the history of broken hearts will confirm that closure is the ideal parting gift.

Now I can’t quite say that “Cleveland” and I have just gone through a break-up because, quite frankly, we were never really in a relationship, per say.  However, I am able to admit that this may be the most amount of closure I’ve ever received from the ending of a “relationship”.  It still hasn’t been easy, especially the whole missing him part, but at least there are no unanswered questions or doubts.  I know all that I need to know in order to let go and move on.

Sometimes two people meet for a reason; a reason that may not fully be understood for a while- if ever.  Looking back on the past three months since the night “Cleveland” and I met, there is certainly evidence of serendipity.  To be blunt, I think my presence allowed him to finally address some things in his life- things that he may have continued to repressed if our meeting never took place. 

His entry into my life made a difference too.  For one, he showed me that someone is willing to take a chance on me.  And he not only told me that I was beautiful, but he made me feel it. 

These last few days I’ve thought about him more than I’d like to admit.  But I haven’t cried, nor will I.  Instead, I think of him and smile.  Yes, I miss him.  And he says he misses me.  But I also know that while we may have been meant to enter one another’s lives, the plan never indicated that we would stay.  When we said our goodbyes, I knew we meant them.  I knew we had to. 

Song of the Moment: Over You by Miranda Lambert

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3 thoughts on “living alone, here in this place. i think of you, and i’m not afraid.

  1. Closure is certainly very important for anyone who wants to heal a broken heart and move on. I’m currently trying to decide if I want closure from my recently break-up. While I wasn’t “in love”, I did truly care about him and the fact that he basically left me in the dark, walked away and abandoned me without any explanation makes me feel like the least I deserve are answers for his actions (or rather, non-actions).

    But I wonder – does closure ever really satisfy us? Sometimes he heals the wounds, but other times it just tears them open more than they already were.

    I hope for your sake, you got the closure you deserved. Even if it’s not the kind of ending you want, or the words you want to hear, in your situation, I truly believe that the best way for you to move forward is to gain closure from all of it.

    Take it as a big relationship lesson because in a few years you are going to look back on all of it and be thankful for what he taught you, what he showed you, and your ability to believe in a relationship…. and a man…. again.

    XO

  2. Personally, from my experience, closure isn’t the end-all, but it’s definitely necessary. I personally think that for some people, maybe people who have a high capcity for feelings and love, nothing is ever enough to fully move on. Those people you care about are always someone on your mind and in your heart. (maybe I’m just speaking from experience.) What do you think?

  3. In the past, I’ve always thought that I needed closure in order to completely move on from that relationship. But looking back on all of those time I did get my closure, some times it just wasn’t enough and it made me feel worse. Perhaps it’s why THIS time I’m not quite sure getting closure / answers from him is the best way to move forward, emotionally.

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