in quiet moments, when you’re able to tune everything else out, you recognize who you are and what you really want.

Just when we think we’ve figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So we have to improvise, we find happiness in unexpected places, we find our way back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way, sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.

(Grey’s Anatomy)

Instead of referring to him as “Cleveland”, I should start calling him “Curve Ball”.  I’m beginning to think that it’s how I need to see him to make sense of the situation I’ve found myself in these last few weeks.  He’s a curve ball that came into my life; one that was not only unexpected but also unpredictable.  Perhaps he was one that was meant to be thrown into my life; or maybe it was a fluke occurrence.  Whatever the case may be, his arrival threw a loop into my world and forced me to learn a lesson- one that I didn’t foresee myself needing to learn. 

I cannot deny the impact that he’s had on me nor the feelings that formed despite the strong fight I instilled upon them.  I’ve struggled with this much more than I’d like to admit- mostly because I’m disappointed with myself.  From the beginning, as the tears of disappointment and frustration formed in my eyes, I said, “I know I have to walk away.  I’ll walk away when I feel strong enough to do so.” 

With things calming down these last two weeks, I’ve been alloted some quiet moments (somewhere in between work and school) to think about, well, everything I’ve been getting myself into lately.  I’ve had time to reflect and recognize that I’ve been straying away from who I am and what I really want out of my life.  I’ve let myself get caught up in the excitement of the newness instead of holding onto what I’ve always stood for.  And in a way, I let the idea of him steer me off the course of I’ve always believed in: True Love.    

 The truth is we don’t always know why certain curve balls (people) come into our life.  Maybe he/she was meant to be a stop along your journey, or in some cases perhaps you’re a stop along his/hers.  Whatever the case be, whatever situation you may find ourselves in, what matters the most is that you never lose sight of who you are.  And in the moments when you do, as we all will, make sure you seek out those quiet moments when you can connect with yourself and get back on track. 

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