“geography, and timing.”

Alex: Remind me why it didn’t work out.

Joanna: Geography, and timing.

I always thought the hard part was anxiously waiting for someone fantastic to come into your life.  I thought there couldn’t be anything more difficult that holding onto the belief- through the loneliness and hopelessness- that one day someone would make the wait worth it.  Someone who would make you forget that you once spent nights questioning if someone was actually out there for you.  Someone who would make everything else seem easier because they were by your side.  That’s how I saw it.  Perhaps that’s what carried me through on those lonely, hopeless nights- the little hope that remained.

I always thought that if two people really cared (loved) one another then there isn’t one single obstacle that could keep them apart.  I thought despite appearing tangibly difficult, no challenge stood a chance against two people who wanted nothing more than to be together.  All that mattered was he was hers and she was his.  Neither time nor distance could change that.  Sure being apart isn’t ideal and can be rather straining on any relationship, but together they would get through it.  Together they’d get through anything.  Maybe that belief is what has carried me through all these years.

Plain and simple, I thought wrong.  I now know, firsthand, that meeting a special someone does not guarantee smooth sailing.  And, while I wish it wasn’t true, there are certain obstacles that can keep two people together.  Distance may or may not be one of them; quite frankly it depends on the two attempting to overcome the challenge of distance.  However, things can get extremely complicated when distance mixes with bad timing.

While watching Last Night this weekend, I found myself taken with the relationship between Joanna and Alex.  (Alex is pretty irresistible, if you ask me.)  They have a magnetic chemistry that makes you think that no obstacle could stand in their way.  Nothing except for “geography, and timing“.  Alex lives in Paris, while Joanna resides in New York…with her husband.  Yep, it’s the traditional story of boy-loves-girl and girl-loves-boy, BUT girl-is-married-to-someone-else.  Or as some may call it, The Case of the Unavailable Girl.  Refer to it as you will, but no matter what it’s the situation (obstacle) that will keep two people apart.

I’d love to tell you I know nothing about this, and I shouldn’t be able to say that I do.

I’d love to tell you I still believe that two people who care about each can figure out a way to be together.

I’d love to tell myself not to lose hope because one day someone will come along and no obstacle will stand a chance against the two of you.

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8 thoughts on ““geography, and timing.”

    1. I enjoyed it- at least the Joanna and Alex parts. As I hinted at, it hit home a little for me so probably why I took to it as much as I did. It’s similar to Closer, so if you liked that then this should work for you too.

  1. I can relate to your post as well. However, being farther removed from the situation and happily married now to another man, I can say that there definitely isn’t just one person out there for you. Do I think I missed out not being with this other person? Sometimes. I know it would have worked between us. We had an amazing connection, but I found I have an amazing connection with another guy as well who was available and lived close enough. I think just because a person makes a decision that forever alters your life, doesn’t mean you are screwed, your path is just that, altered. I didn’t have a choice, I met the guy too late. He made a decision to stick with his first choice. I felt screwed at the time, but now I know life is a little bigger than one person’s choices…Thank God!!

    1. I’ve come to see fate as a result of choices- our own choices as well as those of others; and therefore, I agree with your point that life paths are always being altered. (Reminds me of Adjustment Bureau.) In writing this post I had a situation in my subconscious, and truly see it as something out of my control. Geography, and timing play more of a role than I really do. As well as his decision, which I always knew what it was going to be and one that I accept.

      Thank you for your comment and reminding me that things obstacles may be thrown into our life, and one day it will all make sense as to why.

      1. I watched the same movie while on a flight to Toronto, it reminds me of the one I ‘used to love’ and due to the fact that timing and geography really altered the fate between us. I was always waiting for her to come back to me for a few years; if you ask me why I didn’t find her, I am a shy person I am quite passive in a relationship. After coming out of this sinking boat I finally got out and found myself into a much bigger place than I used to be in. I absolutely agree with Becca I have the same thought as her.

        As time goes on, memory starts to fade, our conscious mind will soon take over the subconscious, making us realize this is just a stage of our life. Stay strong we live not because of one single woman/man.

      2. Thank you for your comment. If you’ve read any other posts dating back, you may know that I, too, was waiting for someone to come back to me. (He never did.) As you put it, I realized that he was just a stage of my life. My only regret right now is that I didn’t realize that sooner.

        While those situation are tough, I’ve come to hold them with appreciation for the lessons we’re able to learn and how strong we can grow by knowing that we overcome some hard, fragile times. Even in weak moments, which are evident in life, we must never forget our resilience. As I tell myself, This too shall pass.

        Thanks again!

  2. I just google “timing and geography” because of a particular situation I am currently experimenting, expecting to be one of that useless google self-conversations and find this, really liked your post and the comments get me thinking in a nice positive way.

    I just would like to add that you are the person you currently are generally by your previous happy relations but also by your less happy relations too.

    Thanks!

    1. Thanks for your comment!! I’m so glad that you found this post and know that someone else understands these challenges. Geography and timing together are messy obstacles, but I really do believe that if its true love and you’re both committed to overcoming anything, you will. Unfortunately the situation I found myself in wasn’t like that, but as you indicated, I’ve learned and grown immensely from it.

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