They say When it rains, it pours. Now I’m not sure who ‘they’ are, but I’m quite certain that ‘they’ came up with this line to foreshadow these last two weeks in my life. To put it best, and figuratively, it just hasn’t stopped raining. For the last fourteen days, life has thrown everything imaginable at me- and more.
Ironically, it all began on a rainy night… which included a rooftop kiss that I’ll probably never forget. And that same kiss is one that probably never should have happened…but it did.
I wasn’t going to tell anyone about that kiss. It was my plan to keep it between the two strangers that shared it. No one needed to know about it. Neither one of us even needed to remember it. We were drunk. We saw something in one another. We got caught up in the moment. We let the other feel something (again). It was only going to be the one night. We were never supposed to see one another again. We weren’t, but we did.
Last night I walked home from dinner as the raindrops fell amongst the street lights. Ignoring the umbrella in my purse, I recognized that part of me just wanted to feel the raindrops on my skin and the other part just wanted to feel something. Each pitter-patter embraced a memory from the last two weeks. Whether the first meeting outside of the bar, the romantic rooftop kiss in the rain, the texts and calls that followed, or our reunion two days prior, I found myself holding onto pieces that should have been forgotten and/or nonexistent in the first place. And more so, I questioned why I haven’t fully been able to walk away.
I’ve been struggling to make sense of everything these last two weeks. I’ve tried recalling the events of that Saturday night and how I let things happen as they did. I’ve kept my guard up instead of getting caught up in the rush. And above all, I’ve forced myself to be honest- with him , with friends, and with myself. All I can ration is that in situations like this, people meet for a reason. Maybe he entered my life to teach me a necessary lesson, or perhaps I came into let him feel something he hasn’t felt in a while. Whatever the case may be, I just wish I knew because otherwise I cannot help but wonder if every rainy night is going to elicit memories of that romantic rooftop kiss…and all that has happened since.