It shouldn’t come as a surprise, but there’s been no summer love for this girl. Zilch. Nada. Niente. Besides the green-shirted one night stand a few months ago, I have spent my summer nights in the company of many entertaining guests, sensational girlfriends, and an adorable toddler named Max. Actually, those are the only people in Chicago that I wanted to be with.
Besides spending the summer with friends, this funk (possible Quarterlife Crisis) has gotten the best of my time too. It’s been frustrating trying to figure things out, to say the least, but part of me knows what it’s been all along.
Love- or something like it- has always been fleeting for me. From those crushes and one-week relationships in my teenage years to those drunken college hook-ups, I can probably count on one hand the number of guys I’ve kissed more than once. (Okay, maybe two hands but no more.) My point is that this stuff tends to begin and end all in one breath. Blame it on my fickle heart or theirs, or maybe both. Whatever the case may be, I’ve come quite accustomed to watching guys come-and-go. And because of this, I don’t expect anything of them to stick around for more than a few texts the next day. Which also means that I’ve gotten good at moving on very quickly.
But sometimes life throws someone into your path that can’t be categorized with the rest; someone whose kiss you can’t forget. You swore he was just another fling, but your heart tells you he’s so much more.
And that’s where I’ve been all summer long. Trying to convince myself that it was just a fling even though everything within tells me otherwise. Summer is almost over and, if anything, I feel more off than I have at any point before. I don’t know what all this means, but I cannot help but think that this is somehow going to end like all the others. Maybe it really was just a fling? Or perhaps it was so much more…
Song of the Moment: Long Hot Summer by Keith Urban