if i talk really slowly, if i try real hard to make my point dear, that you have my heart. here i go. i’d tell you but you already know.

In order to write this post to the best of my ability, I must admit that I’ve been watching The Bachelorette this season.  Now in mentioning this, it is necessary to remind you that I’ve stuck with my boycott and haven’t watched a single episode of The Bachelor since the Jake-Choosing-Vienna moment shook my guilty pleasure TV-watching world. (Bachelor Boycott Begins post)

Anyways… for those of you who haven’t had the privilege to watch this season of The Bachelorette with me, I’ll tell you that I’m the President of Team JP.  Every viewing party can be summarized by me saying, “This show is ridiculous!” and expressing my love for JP: Ashley is crazy if she lets this guy get away.  He’s the kind of you always hope to find.  Therefore if she doesn’t choose him, then it’s certainly her loss. (Maybe my gain? Wishful thinking…)

Okay, I’m not really love with him; however, this past episode certainly caused my admiration for him to skyrocket.  In reference to his previously broken heart, he spoke the most honest words that can only be learned through such a soul-wrenching experience (aka love).

He said, “Unless I completely put myself out there and expose my vulnerability and allow myself to get hurt, there’s no way that we could ever work.  I’ve accepted the fact of all of this, if I get completely crushed and heartbroken at least I can walk away saying I gave that everything I had and I was open to everything and it just didn’t work out.”

He’s right, and anyone who has allowed themselves to learn lessons from their heartbreak will agree too.  For one, I agree.  Now I could come up with a line of my own, but I’m going to borrow Martha Beck’s infamous line instead:  “Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want.”  While it takes time and some good cries to figure this out, the ultimate lesson that one learns thru a broken heart is “Take a deep breath, put on a smile and a bundle of confidence, and try again.”

JP’s outlook is one that we should all adopt.  Whether you’re going on The Bachelorette (hopefully not), a singleton looking for love (lust) or a rookie in the relationship game, it’s best to have the attitude that you’ll give it all you got and trust that whatever happens, happens.  Be Honest with Yourself.  Be Open with Others.  Live with No Regrets.  And most importantly, Don’t Be Afraid to Fall in Love or Have Someone Fall in Love with You.

Yesterday one of my best friends posed an interesting question my way.  She asked, “Do you think you were in love with Casey?”  I answered honestly and said I believe so because of how much I cared about him- and still do.  But that being said, I know that the regrets I’ve had over him are the result of me not putting myself out there.  This is also why it took me for-ev-er to get over him.  But like I’ve said above, heartbreak tends to be the best way to learn lessons.  Afterall, mistakes are the best teacher.

So like my dear JP, I’ve learned a lot from my broken heart.  Most importantly, I’ve learned a lot about myself.  And while my confidence level still tends to depend on the day, I can say that I’ve been more comfortable (than I ever could have imagined) taking chances and putting myself on the line.  I’ve been exposing my vulnerabilities and allowing myself to dabble in situations to which I could get hurt.  If we’re being honest here, I’ll tell you that I’ve been a little scared lately- after learning how vulnerable I’ve let myself become; however, I have no regrets.  If anything, I’m so grateful that I’ve grown enough to let myself do so.  Because like that cute guy on The Bachelorette said, “…at least I can walk away saying I gave that everything I had and I was open to everything and it just didn’t work out.”

The title of this song is lyrics from For You by Angus & Julia Stone.

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2 thoughts on “if i talk really slowly, if i try real hard to make my point dear, that you have my heart. here i go. i’d tell you but you already know.

  1. I love this post. I believe that we only get out of something, what we put in. When it comes to love/dating/relationships, I’m learning that as scary as it may be to fall in love (with my current Man), it will be even scarier to look back on this experience knowing that I didn’t give it everything I had. I want to allow myself the chance to fall in love with this guy – even if it doesn’t last forever – and know that I gave him everything I had.

    Beautiful, K; simply a beautiful post!

    xo

  2. I’m so glad this post struck a chord with you. No regrets, lady!! That’s an order. Seriously though, keep doing what you’re doing because I promise you this adventure is something you’ll never regret. So proud of you!!

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