Ralph Waldo Emerson once told me, “We are always getting ready to live but never living.” And D.H. Lawrence followed by whispering in my ear, “The living moment is everything.” But despite agreeing with these great words of wisdom, I still find myself failing to follow their sage advice. To be fair, I haven’t been following anyone’s advice much these days- not even my own.
“Life life in such a way that if a photograph were taken at random, it would be a cool photograph.” I love this line so much and see such truth and inspiration in it. But that being said, I must be honest and admit that I’ve been slacking on my living these days too. Okay, maybe that’s only partly true. While half of the photos would reveal my shenanigans & adventures with friends, the other stack would show me staring off into the distance in thought or napping in the sunshine on my rooftop deck.
If you must know, I’m finding myself in an unwarranted summertime funk. Instead of living in ‘The Now’, memories of the past and daydreams of future anticipations are consuming my mind and lack of action these days. Again, that’s not entirely true but enough to make me want to do something to change it. I need to make a change. (And I definitely need to start working out again.)
While I’ve been known to be someone who tends to hold onto the past, these days I’m more focused on the future. However, after running into my best friend from elementary school unexpectedly a few weekends ago, I think my mind’s been skipping down memory a bit. Lately I’ve been reflecting more on how I’ve gotten to where I am and how it’s leading me towards where I’m going.
For those of you who I may not know, a few things have happened to me over the course of the past couple of months. Most importantly, I decided to follow my passion and career aspirations and enroll in a graduate program here in Chicago. In addition, I chose to continue working my full-time job as well. So yeah, with my first day of class on August 29th I am anxiously awaiting- somewhat nervously- to see how I’m going to make this all work. I think ‘balance’ is the word I’m looking to use here, although the term ‘trying not to stress too much’ seems more suitable. I just cannot help from wishing that it would start already so I could stop wondering how it’s gonna be.
And I guess it’s fitting to add that my typically lacking love life is absent this summer as well. Unfortunately there are no scandalous photos of yours truly floating around the Chicago tabloids. Sure I had a good run going for a while, but most recently it’s been lackluster. Although an epiphany yesterday has made me question whether or not that’s really true. While that tidbit of information remains confidential, let’s just say it is another reason why I’m longing for what could be.
Benjamin Franklin is quoted as saying, “Never leave that til tomorrow which can be done today.” I just hope that I can finally take this advice and turn my summer around.
Song of the Moment: How to Love covered by Megan Nicole