I can honestly say that I’ve never been so impressed by a guy in my life. That alone makes it obvious that I’m crushing on someone- oh gosh, I even got weak in the knees before seeing him once. Anyways, he’s pretty fantastic. Better than any fantasy my imaginative mind could concoct. Certainly one of those guys that you can’t let get away. One of those rare finds that you know you’ll never get a second chance with. Despite knowing an array of good guys in my lifespan, I swear I’ve never met anyone like him before.
And while I can say that about him, I’m not sure he’s able to say the same about me. As humble as he’s proven to be, I’m far from his first admirer. I’m one of many in his fan club. I know that I am nothing new. Therefore, I must also admit that I’ve never been so intimidated by a guy either. And that being said, I’ve never been so cautious with my heart either. It’s not that there’s anything to lose… it’s more that there is so much to gain.
With his absence this summer, I find that all I can do is let it go. I always knew it was what I had to do. Always knew it was for the best. However, it hasn’t been as easy as I assumed it would be. Too many times I recall the second part of the infamous line that Alisha reminded me of: … if it comes back, it’s yours.
Even with my doubts, maybe I just can’t ignore the possibility that it will come back? Maybe I’m just not sold on the notion that this is another crazy crush of mine? Yes, I know that it’s a big world out there and many temptations in high heels on those New York City streets; however, an ounce of jealousy hasn’t encompassed my body- at least not yet. And you know why? Because a tiny part of me believes that, to him, that’s nothing new and that I am quite possibly something he’s never seen before. A girl can at least dream, right?
In deciding what to say next, this song came up on my playlist: One and Only by Adele. Somehow it was the first time I’ve heard it despite Adele being a staple in my life these days. While the inspiration isn’t coming to me yet, I can promise you that I’ll be using its lyrics in a future post. Til then, XOXO.