There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t ’cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.
~ Meredith Grey
For a second it felt like deja vu… but then I realized I wasn’t the one saying these words. Wow, someone else feels this way too? I’m not the only one? Sure the voice was coming (from a script) through the TV, but someone- who may have once felt this way- had to write it after all. I mean is it possible for someone to write these emotions (words) if they had never been experienced? Doubtful.
For those of you who are not avid Grey’s Anatomy viewers, I’ll share that this is the last line on this past season finale. As it was being spoken, I knew it was meant for my blog. However, what I didn’t know is that respective post wouldn’t entail many more lines than those in the quote itself. Unbeknownst the reason,tonight was the night for me to share this quote. Something in me just felt it, and for those of you who fall under the Intuitive category I’m certain you understand that you can’t ignore such feelings. So here it is. For any others’ eyes to view.
But what about me? How do my eyes (and heart) perceive this line? Well to tell you the God-honest truth, my own intuition is telling me two things: 1) I’m not afraid of losing love as long as I find it. 2) I don’t (think I) want to be alone anymore. After enjoying the companionship of some great guys these past few months, it just makes me realize what I’m missingin my life.
My anxiety is pretty high tonight, and on top of that I’m PMSy and battling some kind of cold/sinus infection (again). That being said, I think it’s best to end this post now. For those of you who know me know that I’m fine. My mind has been wondering all day so just hoping to get some sleep tonight and wake up refreshed.