remind me that i’m older, to be brave, smart, sweet, and bolder.

If someone were to ask me how my week went then I might very well have to plead the fifth.  I’ve crammed so much into these last few days that I’ll fail to remember it all.  However, I will report that I’m feeling much better since my last post and, for me, that’s what matters the most.

Wednesday was a jam-packed day- in a good way- and also the day that turned my emotions around.  While I enjoyed an evening (with mimosas) with Michelle, Kristen, and the kids (Max and Keira), it was my time with Dina after work that really changed my perspective on the matter that was draining me.  Now I’m keeping our conversation between the two of us, though I will share a two-word phrase, spoken by Dina, which is one I will continue to carry with me, “Trust Yourself.”

I hate to admit this but life has made me a bit cynical.  I’ve been betrayed by ‘friends’; victimized by high school politics; battled anxiety for most of my life; and suffered from life-alternating heartbreak.  Despite having doubts & fears plague my past, I’m happy to report that part of my life is over.  I, Kristen Medica, have grown enough to (finally) whole-heartedly Trust Myself.  I trust that I know myself well enough to ignore the doubts & cynicism and go after everything my heart desires.

Remind me that I’m older, to be brave, smart, sweet, and bolder.  I’ve begun viewing this past week as a necessary time for reflection.  On Wednesday night, I opted to walk home from Michelle’s for some alone time with Chicago.  For that 60-75 minute walk through street lights and raindrops, I found myself overcome with serenity.  Despite the passerbys and sounds of frantic drivers, I felt like the city was mine to enjoy some peace & (as much) quiet (as possible).  See I was able to tune everything out, including my always-thinking mind, and listen to my heart.  And all I kept hearing was Dina’s voice saying, “Trust Yourself.”

My past is a huge part of me, particularly because it’s filled with struggles and obstacles that I’ve learned to accept (now).  Instead of dwelling on the past and allowing it to how me back with a fistful of regrets, I truly appreciate each tear, frustrating moment, and bad day because I Am Who I Am Today Because of What I’ve Experienced and Overcame. 

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