people know they are lacking something when they are constantly wanting some kind of spiritual guidance.

Here’s something I never told anyone before: Usually when I’m walking around- home from the children’s hospital, an errand, or the train station- and feel confused or stressed, I ask God to give me a sign.  A sign of guidance or support.  A sign to tell me that I’m on the right path; or a sign to direct me towards a new one.

You know what, more often than not He gives me a sign.  A Simple Sign.  Maybe a few raindrops.  Perhaps a barking dog.  And every once in a while, the grey clouds in the Chicago sky part and He shines some sunshine down on me- letting me know that He is listening.

Despite the sun shining outside, there was absolutely no sunshine within the cement walls of my office today.  Unfortunately (for me) I mean that figuratively and literally.  I sat at my desk, staring at my computer screen just hoping to feel something.  Minutes passed…and still nothing.  I wrapped my arms around myself, though I felt nothing.  Absolute nothingness.  Isn’t that the worst feeling in the world?

I opted to not start-up a conversation with Him today even if I knew His guidance was something I sought.  However, without even asking, I found myself stumbling upon a sign.  I’ll be honest and tell you that my optimism is quite low (about it) but I followed His lead and took a chance.  Whatever happens, happens so I’ll just have to wait and see.  The truth is, even with things going fairly well these days, I still struggle with the feeling (or lack thereof) that something is missing. 

Or maybe I just need to step back and re-evaluate a few things?

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3 thoughts on “people know they are lacking something when they are constantly wanting some kind of spiritual guidance.

  1. Hi there, I came across this page when a friend asked me about an English translation, yes, I’m not an English native speaker 😛 Anyway, I read this page and a few pages of your blog and somehow your stories remind me of myself. It’s like seeing somebody almost just like me. I’ve found many similarities on your thoughts and you know what the reason when you started your blog was somehow reminded my own decision. Sometimes it’s hard to express what we have in our mind but hey writing the thoughts down really therapeutic.

    When I read this page, somehow I think, God really gives me a sign today. There’s a believer out there 🙂 I thought I was crazy

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