yeah i saw sparks, and i saw sparks.

As I read Water for Elephants on the bus this morning, one of my all-time favorite quotes and movie scenes from Big Fish popped into my mind (due to the whole circus thing).  The line is, They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true.” and here is the scene.

While Edward Bloom’s love at first sight scene with Sandra Templeton was caught on camera, most couples do not have this luxury.  Most boy-meets-girl first meetings are not produced by Disney or MTV; however, cameras are not necessary to capture this fateful Hallmark moment because one’s mind will never let you forget it (or at least the parts of it that weren’t too blurred by those head twists, turns & spins and nerve-wracking butterflies).  Every once in a while, you see sparks while catching the eye of another; and since you don’t see sparks that often, you know something special has just occurred.  Sparks.  Those Beautiful Sparks.

I saw sparks once, and actually I’ve seen them a few times.  The last time I saw sparks, I did my best to ignore them.  In fact, I ignored them for hours.  I was totally convinced that I could keep ignoring those sparks, but eventually stopped fighting (myself) and gave in. 

But what happens next?  Are sparks just a temporary, one-night thing?  Do they go away as quickly & unexpectantly as they came? 

Okay, maybe those aren’t my real questions…maybe these ones are.

If you see sparks, does that mean the other person sees them too?  If you still sense the sparks days…weeks…months later, does that mean he does as well?  And if the sparks fade from his eyes, will they fade in yours?  Isn’t that only fair?  Why would they stick around in yours if they’ve disappeared in the other’s?

Am I being completely transparent here?  Oh well, to each his own.  What I’m trying to get out is this: I’ve been let down by life (before) and hurt dozens of times, only to blame myself for my own foolish naivety.  I accept my past entirely and actually embrace all the rough patches more than those of ease.  However…(isn’t there always a ‘however’)… these days I hopeful that life is unfolding to give me the chances I’ve been working towards.  One of those chances is finally turning those little sparks into something less temporary. 

There are some blurry spots from that night that sparks last flew, but it’s still quite vivid in my mind.  I remember many moments.  Most moments, if not all moments.  There’s no doubt in my mind that sparks flew that night…but what if they didn’t?  What if there were no sparks at all?  What if I made them up in my mind?  I’m just playing Devil’s advocate here, but seriously, what if?  How do you know if what you saw were really sparks?  And if they were, most importantly, how do you make them stay?

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One thought on “yeah i saw sparks, and i saw sparks.

  1. Water for Elephants is one of the best books I’ve read in the last year. I used to work in a nursing home with people with dementia, and the main character reminded me of all four my favorite old, cranky men. It felt true to life for me- I was kind of like the nurse character, I think. I thought the ending was so appropriate and I imagined my old men from the home running off to be in the circus and it made me smile 🙂 Loved it. When I was reading that book, nothing else mattered but getting through it and seeing how it ended. I LOVE books like that!!
    -Melissa

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