“all i have are the choices i make”

I could write a book on fate…and for the last six years of my life I swore I would.  But that was then and, as they say, this is now.  All of the lessons learned and eye-opening experiences between then and now have left me with the desire to (instead) write my little novel about choices.  Because if I’ve really learned anything it’s that we decide our own fate based on the choices we make. 

In my last post I wrote about seeing The Adjustment Bureau, which has led me to write (and think a lot) about the Concept of Fate (again) these days.  During the movie, Matt Damon’s character declares, “All I have are the choices I make…and I choose her.”  And choose he most certainly did.  Instead of following the plan (destiny), he followed his heart (choice).

So here’s a question for you: When it comes to love, do we really have a choice? 

It’s no secret that life tends to catch us off guard every so often; maybe life will even a throw a curveball our way.  Once in a while, we find ourselves Enchanted by another.  He/She captures our attention…and soon our heart.  Whatever we worried about yesterday is now replaced with concerns like Does he/she like me too?” and “When will I see her/him again?”  Life goes on but we’re forever changed.  We feel different.  We feel alive.  There’s just something about being in love (or even having a crush) that makes life so much brighter, bolder, and shinier. 

Okay, back to that question: Do we have a choice when it comes to love?  And I mean real love, like the love that Carrie Bradshaw speaks of: “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”  Or are we fated to be victimized by Cupid’s games of arrow shooting?  What do you think? Do we have a choice in deciding whom we love?

Doubtful that I can find the right words right now, I’ll just say “Yes!”  Again, simply put, we always have the freedom to make our own choices in all aspects of our lives- especially love.  However, let me admit that I didn’t always believe this myself and I’m not the only one.

Five little words are overused and (often) misinterpreted by millions of people every single day: Everything Happens For A Reason.  You know this phrase because you’ve heard it countless times and said it yourself almost as many.  These words are second-nature to you and therefore, you say them without even thinking about what they mean, let alone how they really do apply to the given situation.  Some people use them as an excuse to stop trying- mistaking them to mean that things are going to happen authentically, without any effort on our behalf.  False!  The truth is that Everything Happens For A Reason because we Take Chances and Make Choices that Guide Our Lives Down the Path that we deem “Our Fate”, “Our Destiny.”  And most often people automatically think of Love when they hear these five words.

Now I can play devil’s advocate here and say that sometimes it seems like things just happen.  Every now and then you meet someone who you ration was the Handwork of Serendipity.  But if you really think about then you, too, know that Nothing Great Happens When We’re Standing Still.  The Best Things in Your Life Happened Because You Did Something.  Sure, it may have seemed like you were in the Right Place at the Right Time.  Or perhaps you happened to look up (or down) to catch an unforeseeable sign.  However, if you think about the moments leading you to that moment, then you’ll be amazed to learn that you embarked on a journey to get to that place at that time.  Where you are standing (or sitting) right now is the result of the all of Choices You Have Made.  And for all of your tomorrows, you will find yourself amongst the shadows of yesterday’s choices.

You Always Have a Choice.  Always.


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