even a kiss on new year’s eve isn’t ‘just a kiss’.

Some people say that “it’s just a kiss”, and as you get older you’ll mostly hear “it’s only sex” and/or “marriage is just a piece of paper“.  Do me a favor: Don’t believe these things.  If ‘a kiss is just a kiss’, then why do you sometimes find yourself with weak knees and butterflies in your stomach?  Explain that, cynics! 

On our early morning car ride to Columbus last week, Stef and I found ourselves in a discussion that I’m going to refer to as, Some Girls Do and Some Girls Don’t.  Simply put, we were discussing those girls that 1) always seem to have “met the love of my life” and 2) act so carelessly when it comes to boys, relationships, and everything in between.  Those are the ones that act like a “kiss is just a kiss”but what about the rest of us?  What about the girls that actually care enough to embrace that first kiss and take pride in calling him “my boyfriend”? 

And to be fair, because after all boys have feelings too (!), what about the boys that find themselves asking their girl friends for advice on their latest crush and taking weeks to finally ask the question, “Will you go out with me?”  Those guys are out there, and in fact, I know some of them. 

But this post is about one specific boy.  A boy who has liked a girl for a very long time.  A boy who has been very patient with this girl and pretty much accepted that the girl will never feel the same about him.  But this same boy recently experienced something special with this girl.  On New Year’s Eve, of all nights.  Yep, they shared a kiss.  After midnight.  And from what I’ve been told, there was a little make out session that went on too.  Whether or not a third-party (named Alcohol) truly placed a role in this event for a little ménage à trois is yet to be determined, but no matter, New Year’s Eve or not, this incident definitely deserves an explanation for the sake of two friends that shared their first kiss.  Like I believe, a kiss isn’t ‘just a kiss”.

Once upon a time…in my early Post-College days, I let myself believe that a kiss was only a kiss.  I was Heartbroken. Lonely. Confused.  I didn’t know myself well enough to understand this too shall pass.  I fell into the trap and soon, while I hate to admit it, I let myself mistakenly believe that I deserved to be in a “relationship” categorized as none other than, “Friends with Benefits“.  And as the story goes… I fell victim to the misconception that “it’s just sex“.  But I learned my lesson.  Many lessons.  And yes, I do regret some of the decisions my sad heart allowed me to make, but I am also grateful to have learned these lessons before making them again.  

And while I cannot say the same for my friends, I proudly admit that my lips were sealed on New Year’s Eve.  Other than the guys I was with, I could not tell you what a single guy in the bar looked like.  So, why would I kiss someone just to kiss someone?  Whether it’s New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, or any other ordinary day for that matter, why kiss for the sake of just kissing?   Been there, done that.  Quite frankly, the truth of the matters is, there’s nothing better than that first kiss with someone you truly like.  Someone that gives you butterflies.  Someone that makes your knees go weak when he says, “I really like you.”  Someone who makes you feel like you’re the only ones there in a crowded room. Someone who you know is worth waiting for.  Someone who deserves you, as much as you deserve him.  I know it’s tough, but I promise you that it’s always worth the wait.  Just Be Patient. 

While I’m extremely bias, I end this post still hoping that the kiss my friends’ shared was more than ‘just a kiss’, but only time will tell.

4 thoughts on “even a kiss on new year’s eve isn’t ‘just a kiss’.

  1. i have always subscribed to the fervent belief that it’s only worth kissing a guy at midnight on new year’s who would kiss you at 6:12 PM on march 3. so i spent a LOT of new year’s eves not kissing anyone. finally, finally, this year i was able to break the streak of kissing a man who would kiss me anytime with as much interest and fervor as he did at that moment.

    here’s hoping your friend found that kind of kiss.

    1. I love your comment for so many reasons. Not only am I glad that you share my feelings on this, but I’m so happy that you found someone worthy of kissing you on NYE and on March 3 at 6:12 pm. (Love that that most!) I hope they found that with one another, but then again I just hope they find it with someone. I hope we all do. Enjoy your guy!

      1. This year I FINALLY thought the man I love would be kissing me during that special “New Year’s Moment.” I waited over 40 years for that moment, a first for me, and we weren’t even together. He expressed no desire to even be with me, though he claimed he did after-the-fact. For him, it didn’t mean anything. For me, it changed everything, and now I feel very insecure and am not convinced I am loved. I can’t sleep tonight, and I’m glad I found your web page.

      2. I’m really glad you found my page on your sleepless night of insecurity and doubt. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve had plenty of those nights myself- whether or not I write about that on my blog.

        Now I’m no expert on love…or men. But I do know a thing or two about loving someone and hanging on with the hope that (one day) he’ll come to his senses and return that love.

        Since my first kiss back in middle school, I’ve kissed my fair share of boys… mostly under the influence of teenage hormones or alcohol. Maybe even both a time or two. But there was only one kissing partner out of all those boys that I truly wanted to kiss- sober, drunk, morning, noon, and/or night. And in fact, I waited a very long time in hopes of kissing him again.

        I haven’t kissed him since, and truthfully I probably never will again. But that’s (finally) okay with me. I learned to let go. And maybe that’s what your New Year’s Eve moment was. Maybe it happened so that you can finally let go. We always hope that moments like that will spark a romance, but perhaps your moment was to allow you to put out the flame that you’ve felt for a very long time….?

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