“Real life is a funny thing you know. In real life saying the right thing, at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I’ve begun to fear more than that, is letting the moment pass with saying anything. I think you deserved to look back on your life without this chorus of resounding voices saying, ‘I could of but it’s too late now.’ So there’s a time for silent, and there a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say. You’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait. I think you should speak now.”
“Aidan’s perfect!” Charlotte just exclaimed this obvious fact in the Season 4 episode of Sex and the City when the love of my life, Aidan Shaw, comes back into Carrie’s. Aidan Shaw: The definition of a perfect guy…at least in my book. (I’ve even committed to naming my future male puppy Aidan, as he- my puppy- would be serving a pseudo-boyfriend role.) While Aidan looks amazing, especially in Season 4, his looks alone are not what captured my heart. Instead it’s all of him: What he says, how he says it, what he does, how he cares for others…and how all of this shows his true character. His kindness, chivalry, charisma, and genuine nature. He is who he is. What you see is what you get. He is perfect just the way he is.
Why am I going on-and-on about my beloved Aidan? Besides the fact that I’m having a mini-marathon of Aidan episodes this evening, there’s another reason too. While volunteering at an event today, surrounded by kids & cupcakes, I found myself in a conversation with four other girls regarding one of the world’s most popular themes: Boys. How it got started is a lost cause, but I’ll shed some light on what was discussed. “How long should I wait to message the guy I met at the bar on Friday?” This question was asked by Rachel, a new friend. My immediate response went something along the lines of, “If you want to do it, then go for it. Don’t wait if you don’t want to.” I know I mentioned something about “regrets” and “taking chances”, in an attempt to encourage her to just go for it. “You have nothing to lose.”
Two of the other girls, one married and the other in a 5-year relationship with her live-in boyfriend, jumped in and shared their respective taking the initiative stories. Jennifer pointed out that she ‘stalked’ her now-husband for months before he finally got the hint (back in high school) and Stephanie said that she was the one that made all the first moves with her boyfriend, but did point out that it helped because she knew that he liked her too. But the moral of these stories is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl taking the initiative and that may be the only way to get things started in the World of Boys & Girls.
We then went on to discuss another familiar topic, Seriously, what’s up with boys these days?, but let me say that there was no male bashing. Instead, my hope is that the consensus aligned with my current belief: Do what makes you happy and don’t let doubt & fear of rejection hold you back. I’m honestly too tired tonight so I won’t drag this on much longer. But let me say that these days my attitude is simple: I just don’t care enough about the doubts, worries, and games. I’d rather take chances than waste time on missed possibilities. I’d rather know- either way- than wonder what if. I’ve been there, done that. Those days in limber slowly & very painfully destroy the soul, and quite frankly I’d avoid it like the plague if I were you. If you want my advice, always say what you want to say. If the person on the other side doesn’t share the same feelings, well then it’s their loss. He/She wasn’t the one for you and now you’re free to find the one that is.
From someone who is far from an expert on relationships and love, I can say that I’m the queen of intuition and gut-instincts. We all know when we care about something- or someone- whether we really want to or not. Like I’ve said, sometimes you just have to give your heart what it wants, even if it means saying the words that you’re afraid to say. Let yourself live. Let yourself love. Let yourself be loved.
And remember, if you’re lucky enough to have an Aidan Shaw come into your life, there’s only two rules you need to know…well, three rules:
1. Fight to make him yours.
2. Never let him go.
3. Never-ever cheat on him.