Maybe our mistakes make our fate…without them what would change our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart…and if you’re a very lucky person, just a plain ride away. ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
I always think of my girlfriends when I see this quote, especially my Sex and the City Ladies- Ruth, Kristin, and Sarah. We used to try figuring out which of us was Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha, and Carrie. In my opinion, Sarah is definitely Samantha and Kristin is Charlotte. Ruth is probably more of Miranda but definitely has her Samantha moments. Leaving me as Carrie. Yes, I’m probably definitely a Carrie…Maybe with some Charlotte moments.
Where the heck am I going with this? See, this is what happens when I see this quote and start thinking about my ladies. So life has taken us all in different directions (literally): Ruth is in Northern California, Sarah is living in Bermuda (seriously!), Kristin is married and a home-owner in Columbus, and me, little Ms. Carrie Bradshaw, is analyzing the world from her apartment in Chicago. Well, this week I’m analyzing it from Cincinnati, Ohio- surrounded by the toys of two adorable children, Hazel & George, and their inspiring mother, Rebecca.
So what’s on my mind these days? Fate. Destiny. Serendipity. Call it what you will, but we all know what this means: The belief that our life is pre-determined. That ‘everything happens for a reason’. We’ve all heard that line before, whether we want to or not, but do we believe it?
Yesterday after a brief call with my mom, I received an unexpected email from my friend, Dina. Her lovely, thoughtful, encouraging words really touched me. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you, Dina. Both my mom and Dina brought up- in their own way & words- hit on the concept of fate; of destiny; that everything happens for a reason. That people come into our life when the timing is right…for both of us. This was Dina’s point, not my mom’s. My mom thinks that it should just happen every single time I walk out the door. BAM! instant BFFs. POOF! love of my life.
Back to Dina’s point: It’s all about timing, ladies & gentlemen. So often, too often, we get so frustrated when things don’t pan out the way we want them to. I, too, fall into this category so I’ll speak for myself. We think that we’re absolutely, 100% ready for that job to be ours, to meet “The One” that we’ve been waiting for; however, we need to realize that in those scenarios, especially the latter one, that another party is involved. Therefore, it’s best to remember that even if you’re ready, perhaps the other person isn’t- yet.
Patience has never been my best quality. My own father will tell you that without a mere second thought. However, in my defense, I have gotten much better over the years. Andy Warhol said it best, “The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.” True, true. Though let me add to that by saying that waiting for something helps you realize whether or not you really want it. But even if your decipher that you’re ready, perhaps the other part of the equation (the perfect job or the perfect guy/girl) isn’t quite ready for you. What do you think of that?
When you meet the supposed love of your life at twenty years old, it’s impossible to comprehend that it is not the right time…yet. It may be perceived as foolish, but instead it’s merely evidence that you have A LOT of growing up left to do before the time is right. As a wiser twenty-seven year old, I can tell you that timing is everything. Time provides us with the experience to discover who we are; take chances; and learn from our mistakes. Time allows us to figure out what we really want and what we’re willing to fight for. To quote (or paraphrase) a line from Sex and the City 2, which I just saw for the first time tonight: “Time does not matter. When we see one another, it’s wonderful.”
I know, all of my thoughts are fairly transparent as they center around people specifically. Yes, L.O.V.E. is a common factor in everything I’ve mentioned above- but not just romantic love. All of these may pertain to friends, family members, or mentors that have played a role in your development. See, new people enter (and re-enter) into our life each and every day, but (unfortunately) not all of them remain in our life. An example: When I was in middle school, one BFF after another slowly disappeared from my life. I couldn’t understand why and, as a result, I blamed myself for pushing them away. I look back now and realize how little I knew about life, about friendship back then. Not every friend you make is going to be in your life forever. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault. That’s just how life is. As the line goes, everything happens for a reason.
But there are certain people who Fate brings to us, as Destiny whispers the secret that they are meant to be in our life forever. At times we just know ‘it’ at the first sight of them or through a bonding conversation. From there we cannot imagine life without them as we find ourselves feeling a sense of completeness with our other half by our side. Although, life isn’t always fair. People come and go. No rhyme nor reason will explain why…but time will. Over time we can see all of the answers that we spent sleepless nights and tears searching for. The answer is that sometimes we need these people in our lives to guide us along our path and sometimes those people need us to do the same for them
We really don’t think of it like that often, do we? That we come into another’s life to help him/her finding what they are looking for; to help them grow along their journey. Perhaps they needed someone like you to inspire and/or encourage them to keep fighting for what they want. Maybe you met them to introduce them to the love of their life. Fate does exist. People are meant to be together- in whatever context you like to believe in. However, it’s not always the way you think it should go.
Once upon a time, I met a guy that I believe(d) was my fate, my destiny, my everything happens for a reason. I waited patiently and very, very impatiently for years, believing that we were meant to be and therefore, time will bring us together again- somehow, someday. I fought the pains that showed me that he (us) was what I really wanted. But now, I foolishly admit that I really may have had it wrong all along. Instead I contemplate the real reason he first entered my life many years ago. Maybe, just maybe, he came into my life to remind me of where I came from? Or maybe, just maybe, I came into his life to remind him?