“life is hard, and so is love, child, believe in all these things”

Greetings from Cincinnati, Ohio!  Somehow I woke up on time on Sunday morning to catch my 7 am Megabus for a week of playdates with Rebecca and her beautiful children, Hazel (2 years) and George (8 months).  Many are joking that this week will decide my fate: To be a mom (someday) or not to become a mom?  Even Mamasita Rebecca thinks that this may be the best birth control for me; however, I really am believing that the opposite is going to happen.  Yes, my blog friends.  These kids are too adorable and therefore my baby/kid temperature is (slowly) rising.  Very slowly, but it’s definitely rising.

(Left Photo: Sarah and Me, as Cookie Monster and Elmo, embarking on our Halloween Adventures in Chicago.  Right Photo: Trick-o-Treating with my lovely little butterfly, Hazel) 

While my last short post on early Sunday morning briefly mentioned the events that I witnessed on Saturday night, I’m going to forgo indulging you with those details (at least for now) and only show you the lovely Elmo costume that was corrupted by such shenanigans.  Thank God Elmo isn’t as innocent as she used to be otherwise she may have definitely been scarred for life.  Okay, just let me say this: If you dress like a slut on Halloween, it doesn’t mean you have to be a slut. 

Instead let’s talk about my real Halloween with the still-innoncent, lovely little butterfly, Hazel.  Trick-o-Treating around Rebecca & Nate’s neighborhood with Hazel and George (for a little while) definitely reminded me of my past Halloween in “The Indian Plan” back in Hampton.  However, I have to say that this one with Hazel trumped any of those.  I know I’m very, very biased, but this little girl is so adorable.  So beautiful.  Her smile makes me smile.  Her giggle makes me giggle.  When she made up her own tune of, “Butterfly, Butterfly” and “Doggie, Doggie” (for George), I couldn’t help but sing it with her… in my Elmo costume.  I’d probably do anything for that little girl; and give up anything so her heart remains pure, innocent, unscathed, and happy.  Spoken like a true mother. 

After recovering from trick-o-treating and getting George into bed, Rebecca and I relaxed with Hazel on the couch before her bedtime.  Amidst Elmo’s Potty Time DVD, Rebecca and I found ourselves reminiscing about our infamous OU days.  We found ourselves updating one another on Brandon, Libby, Phill & Brent (who are now best friends), Joe, Sleepy Sean, a certain ex-boyfriend of Rebecca’s who shall remain nameless, and several others.  As always we recalled that first year in Dougan and how we wish we knew then what we know now, imagining all the things that we would have done different.  Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda.

As Rebecca recalled some of her favorite memories, I looked at Hazel sitting in her lap.  Instead of commenting or sharing memories of my own, I asked her, “Did we ever once think that ‘one day we’re going to grow-up and move to new cities, get married, and have kids’?  The mother holding Hazel replied, “Absolutely not!” 

How could we have known what life outside of Athens was going to hold for us?  Gosh, my anxiety-ridden mind at the age of 22 1/2 didn’t even think that life could exist without Athens.  But look at us now, especially Rebecca: A mother of two and a wife.  I’m so proud of her.  I look at Hazel & Rebecca and ironically I don’t think of my own mother.  I think it may make sense of me to given the fact that I don’t have my own daughter,  but I really didn’t.  Instead I think of myself, wondering when I stopped really believing in fairy tales, wishes, dreams, and happily ever after.  When did I stop believing in magic, in miracles?  When did I start realizing that the world is unfortunately filled with more bad guys than good ones?  When did I stop believing that I would one day find love?  Am I ever going to believe again?  Or better yet, will I ever find it?

I look at Hazel and I want her to always believe that all of these things exist.  Heck, I want to believe in all of them again too.  I was to believe that real-life fairy tales happen in a coffee shop, or a college bar.  I want to believe that wishes and dreams really do lead to happily ever afters.  That magic isn’t just an illusion and miracles do come true if you just believe.  I want to remember that there are definitely good people out there- more than bad- and sometimes it just takes awhile to find them.  As for love…well, I’m not much of an expert but I’ve come across it a few times and itreally does exist.  Again, just be patient. 

Dear Hazel~ I wish I could tell you that life is easy.  I wish I could say that you’ll never be sad, never be hurt; however, the truth is that even big girls get boo-boos and cry tears.  I wish I could guarantee that you’d find the love of your life when you were a teenager and that he’d be yours forever.  Maybe that will happen for you, but if it doesn’t then promise me that you’ll never stop believing in love.  It exists and you’ll find it.  I know you will.  Butterfly, Butterfly, always put your worries aside, dream bigger, and spread your wings and fly. 

Song of the Moment: Fireflies by Faith Hill


2 thoughts on ““life is hard, and so is love, child, believe in all these things”

  1. Great outfit. And I think it’s extremely hard at 22 and a half to really know why life happens the way it does. And I didn’t really understand until yesterday that there were really bad people out there due to unfortunate events. But I think if we just keep in mind that love is this miracle of us being human and having feelings that we really can see a better world. I think your day with the kids trick or treating probably helped solidify a lot. Hope they got lots of candy!!

  2. I love your comments, Libs.
    I am so far from that 22 year old girl I was. I mean how are we supposed to know ‘what’s next’? I know for me I was living in la-la college land, only seeing what was literally right in front of me at the time: Mostly boys and booze.

    I’m sorry you had to experience the bad people epidemic. Yes, they are out there. Too many! But don’t forget that the good ones are there too. The world isn’t a bad place if we keep ourselves surrounded by the good ones…like my little Hazel & George. I’m actually spending the entire we with them and I can not begin to tell you how impactful they are on me. True blessings in my life.

    Keep a smile on your face, lady!

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