unsent love letter mix tape: track 2

The post I wrote on Sunday, October 10th will explain the ideas behind the Unsent Love Letter Mix Tape series, and if it still doesn’t make sense to you, well then, at least it makes sense to me.  The writer.  The blogger.  The girl behind the computer.  Call me what you will but these are my letters.  Love Letters.  Some will be traditional love letters and some will be love letters of another sort.  These are my love letters to those that I love…or once loved…or will one day love.  Let me point out that my plan is not to send these letters, but to write them as though I was sending them. 

Track 2 is written to a long-lost friend.  A friend that hasn’t been a friend to me in awhile, and this is the first time that I’m opening up about how much that hurts me.  See, this friend didn’t anything wrong, it’s more that he hasn’t done anything at all.  I miss our friendship.  I miss him.  I’ve been talking about friendships with my friend, Kate, and cousin, Trish, today and therefore I think it’s the right time to share my thoughts and write this letter.

 

 

Dear Long-Lost Friend,

I miss you.  I just needed to say that first because I really want you to know that it is the main intention of this letter.  I hope that you miss me.  Actually, I just hope that you haven’t forgotten me.  I cannot believe I’m even saying that, but let me explain that it’s something that crosses my mind quite often these days.

Again, I have to stress that I miss you and love you.  When we first parted ways, you chasing after your dreams in NYC, we used to always end our voicemails and Facebook messages by saying “Miss you. Love you.”  I haven’t heard any of those words from you in so long.  I haven’t heard any words from you. 

I know you’re busy, and I know that you’re not one who always takes time to send “How are you?” notes and “I miss you” letters.  And while I know this, I don’t expect it; however, it really would have been nice to get a “Happy Birthday”-something from you on my birthday, or even the day/week after.  No such luck.  See, it wouldn’t have bothered me that much, because I know you’re busy, but when I saw you that you were sharing YouTube videos and random postings all across Facebookland that day…well…it really hurt me. 

Silly, I know.  But you mean a lot to me and sometimes it’s these little things that hurt the most.  All I needed from you was a simple “Happy Birthday”.  Or even a “Like” on someone else’s birthday message.  That’s all I needed.  But you gave me nothing. 

Now I feel thirteen asking you this, so to make it even more childish I’m going to put it in that kind of format:

Are we still friends?  Circle One:       Yes         No        Maybe        N/A

I’m sorry but I had to ask that.  See, I love you so much.  I want more for you then I could ever want for myself.  I want you to be happy, happier then I could imagine possibly being.  I think of you so much, especially when I see anything even remotely-related to pandas and the smiley face on the menu of Noodles & Company. 

Do you even think of me anymore?  I need you to be honest because I am literally fighting to hold onto you because I know that you are worth the fight.  But if you don’t want me to fight, I won’t.  If you deem that there’s no reason for me to fight anymore, I’ll surrender. 

I’ll still think of you.  I’ll still wish that you’re always happy, never sad.  But I’ll stop hoping for a random “I miss you” text or a “Hi” wall posting.

I won’t expect anything, but I’ll still miss you.

With love always,

Kristen
Song of the Moment: Freshmen by The Verve Pipe

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