Before I begin, I have to say that today is a very special day. Today my dear friends, Darlene & Paul are getting married!! And tomorrow they leave for their New Mexico honeymoon adventure. I couldn’t be happier for these two lovely people and the love that they found in one another. It’s a beautiful thing: L.O.V.E. They are deserving of so much beauty and happiness, and I feel lucky to have them in my life- for as long as they’ll have me! When you find people like this in the world, you’ll do everything you can to hold onto them forever. Congratulations, Darlene & Paul. Love you! XOXO
As Darlene adapts to the terms “wife” and “husband” today, I find myself thinking more about last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy and the concept of “change” The wise words of Meredith Grey says it all:
It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change that’s up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.
My mom used to “constructively criticize” me (translation: point out my flaws) saying that I am “afraid of change” and horrible accepting it as a fact of life. Unfortunately for me, she was right. However, in my defense, I have to say that I’ve gotten A LOT better. Yes, change is scary. But it is also inevitable. We are changed by LOVE. We are changed by HURT. We are changed by ENDINGS, and by BEGINNINGS. We cannot run from change. We cannot hide from change either. All we can do is accept that change is bound to happen and when it does, we need to welcome it with open arms and adapt accordingly. Even though it tends to scare us, change is a beautiful thing and quite necessary sometimes.
Change isn’t always a physical thing, like moving to a new city, starting a new job, or beginning a new relationship. Sometimes change entails nothing more than an internal stir-up of new thoughts & coinciding emotions. We have to commit to these changes otherwise we’ll fall back into our habits. Okay, obviously I’m speaking too much from my own experiences here, but I think it’s the most impactful way so just go with it. When we accept changes, we don’t necessarily have to abandon who we are. I made that mistake once before. But instead we have to understand that the respective change(s) allow us to grow, and because of this change is good and necessary.
When it comes to L.O.V.E., change can be all-consuming. When love first enters our life, we are thrown a curveball that we immediately must choose to swing or let it fly past us. From that point we make choices daily. Do we hold onto it? Fight for it? Or is it time to let go?
I think we can all agree that letting go is the hardest change. When you truly love someone, the last thing you want to do is say goodbye. Love convinces you that you can make the other happy and that’s the only way you can be happy. Let’s face it, love doesn’t always make us happy. I’ll speak for myself here and say that the love I’ve experienced (for a certain someone) has hurt more because I’ve been fighting too much to keep it alive. Silly girl, that’s not the love you deserve. In a completely unselfish way, you have to tell yourself- I love you, but I love me more. It’s time to let you go to let me live. It’s not easy, but it’s a change that we all need to deem necessary.
Song of the Moment: What I Did For Love performed by Rachel Berry (Lea Michele) on GLEE