you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. you saw me start to believe for the first time.

Do I have your permission to release my inner 14-year old girl and say that Ms. Taylor Swift’s music is one of my guilty pleasures?  Her music tends to be me.  I am her music.  I see myself as the characters within the songs and trapped in the situations she sings about. 

I try to be Fearless, but Teardrops (fall) on my Guitar.  I have my Hey Stephen days, silently screamed You Belong with Me, and found myself caught up in a Love Story too…wondering if my ‘Stephen’ hears Tim McGraw and thinks of me.  On this never-ending journey of trying to find A Place in This World, some days I find myself wishing I was Fifteen again, but learned to Breathe during those not so good days.  But fortunately every-now-and-then, there’s been those Today was a Fairy Tale– kinda days.

With regards to her new single, Mine, Taylor said:

“It’s a song that is about my tendency to run from love – it’s been a recent tendency.  Every really direct example of love that I’ve had in front of me has ended in goodbye, has ended in breakups.  So I’ve developed a pattern of sort of running away when it comes time to fall in love. This song is sort of about finding the exception to that.”

Listening to her new song, one line really sticks with me.  Wonderin’ why we bother with love if it never lasts.  I am so embarrassed to admit this but I used to think that way…and maybe still do (kinda, sorta).  I know.  (Insert tag.) I have issues.  No, but I think my reasoning comes from a second line of hers: Braced myself for the goodbye ’cause that’s all I’ve ever known.

I’ve been in love once and gone through one bad heartbreak.  However, I can tell you that my heart has endured several hundreds of cracks over my twenty-six years, most that occurred even before my first love entered my life.  How, you may be asking?  When we think of heartbreak, we tend to think of love.  Yes and no.  Romantic love gone wrong isn’t always the only cause of heart breaks.  In fact, I’ve had my heart broken more by former ‘friends’ that did me wrong than any crush or love has ever done.  Actually, for awhile, I gave up on friendship too because I couldn’t go through another crack.   And ladies and gentlemen, that is where my issues first formed.  I know this and unfortunately these little cracks are what leads us astray in the roadtrip called life. 

Whether our hearts are breaking from the demise of a friendship or the love of your life (thus far), we have to remember that the day will come when we can look back and smile.  Maybe even say ‘Thank You’ as we’ll understand that the heartbreak made us stronger as we learned (with time) to rise above again. 

So I say this now, and mostly to myself, don’t run away when love comes your way.  Let it sweep you off your feet.  Let it make you believe again.

Be fearless.

  

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4 thoughts on “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. you saw me start to believe for the first time.

  1. This is a beautiful post!

    I’ve only fallen in love once and the guy ended up breaking my heart and shattering it to pieces. Truth is, I haven’t felt even CLOSE to the same way about another guy, as I did for him. But you’re right – after our heart breaks, we need to mend it and then allow ourselves the chance to fall in love all over again… because eventually, we’ll find someone who won’t ever break out heart.

    1. Another similarity between us. Let me guess, you always compare other guys to him too? You hold on to that feeling that he gave you, wondering if you’ll ever feel ‘that’ again?

      I’m no expert at this at all, but I have wonderful friends that have worn these shoes and help me turn the experience into a positive rather than letting it weigh me down and hold me back.

      I know you’re strong and will do the same. There’s no rule book to follow when it comes to mending a broken heart, so take your time but just don’t forget that the day will come. And you will have that feeling again- if not a better one.

    1. I agree. Personally I’ve learned to live with the heartbreak and although it’s not something I’d define as easy; it’s really become what I know. Still, like you, some days are better than others; however, I’ll admit that a day hasn’t gone by (in 7-ish years) that I haven’t thought about him.

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