this one’s for the boys

I spent part of my Friday night spinning the week away surrounded by roomful of boys (who like boys) and listening to boy band music.  Now that’s a great way to spend a Friday night!  However, during class I realized how I am (fairly) boy friend-less in this city.  The irony is that before I moved to the city, I envisioned myself  surrounded by [new] boy friends, like PJ in My Boys- which happens to be based in Chicago.  No such luck, or at least not yet.

Ever since I was younger, I’ve always been the boys’ girl.  I grew up playing soccer with boys on Cheyenne Court and in rec leagues.  In elementary school I was known to always have a few male classroom buddies.  Then came middle school, where I found myself mingling with the boys on the basketball, soccer, and baseball teams quite frequently.  And in high school, I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the amount of boy friends during those four years.  If it paints a clearer picture, I finished high school by going on a senior trip with 6 or 7 guys…and no girls.  (Long story)  College was no exception either with those lovely boys of mine- with Brandon leading the troops as my boy BFF. 

In a very unarrogant way, I feel like the boys in Chicago are missing out not having me in their life as a friend.  And even though I complain about the crazies in this city, I am sure that there are some good guys out there that would be a great friend to me as well.  So come on out, boys!  Let’s play some cornhole and talk about your ex-girlfriend issues and crushes!  I’m so good at having heart-to-hearts with boys, so I promise you won’t regret my friendship!

Before I indulge you in the purpose of today’s concept, I’ll share this post that I wrote about the friendship between guys & girls: True or False: Guys and Girls Can Be ‘Just Friends’.  While I desire to have more boy friends in my life, for the rest of me life, I’m not naive.  I know that as we get older co-ed friendships are not as easy as they once were; however, don’t you dare let that stand in your way of great friendships.  I haven’t, and you shouldn’t either.

Okay, since I do not have the luxury of seeing my lovely guy friends every day and the boys in Chicago obviously haven’t caught wind of my expertise yet,   I’m going to use this post to advise the boys in blog world about the secrets of women.  Gasp!  I’m letting the cat out of the bag here.  Better take notes.  Seriously, you might want to.  Here are a few things that you need to know about women.  I’ll first say that yes, women are complicated.  We know this and we wish we could change it…but we cannot.  It’s in our blood, our DNA, and do you want me to get into PMS?  I didn’t think so.

As we get older, the situations tend to get more complicated.  The romantic  comedy scenario of Boy Meets Girl…Boy Loses Girl…Boy Gets Girl Back tends to have a few more dots in between the chapters; and sometimes that lack chapter doesn’t always take place. I think this is important to take into consideration when examining our own relationships- past, present, and future.  While we use our past as a guidebook, we all need to remember that no relationship is created equal.  Maybe that new girl reminds you of your ex-girlfriend, but don’t forget that she’s not her.  And you’re not the same person that you were back then either. 

What do girls really want?  Overall a girl just wants to feel wanted.  To know that you want to know how her day went; to know that you want to be there with her, and nowhere else; to know that she’s the only girl you truly have feelings for; to know that you’re thinking of her.  She wants to be a part of your life; to be friends with your friends- boys and other girls.  She wants those friends to tell her how much happier you are now that she’s in your life and that you really, really like her.  She wants you to want to be friends with her friends too.

She’ll love it if you bring her flowers just because; suggest staying in on Saturday night every once in a while; offer to have brunch with her family.  Send her texts or give her a quick call at night just to say good night, and the same in the morning to tell her to have a great day.

Girls believe in love at first sight- whether it really exists or not.  Girls dream about meeting the perfect guy in a coffee shop.  Girls fantasize about their wedding day- even if they cannot picture the ideal groom.  Now don’t go thinking we’re crazy; we’re not entirely.  I can explain it in two words.  Two words that you must never forget.  Ready to hear these two words: Romantic Comedies.  It’s a spell that was cast on us as a child to frame our perspective on love.  On behalf of all girls, please accept my apology.

Maybe girls aren’t as complicated because from what I know about (some? most?) boys, we all want the same thing (kinda?  sorta?).  We all want to be wanted.  We all want to be loved.  We all want to know that someone else thinks we’re special, that we’re worth their time, their energy, and their love. 

Now I’ve saved this for last on purpose in hopes that you’ll remember it.  It’s the most important thing that all women want.  The girl of your dreams, your soul mate, “The One”, your future wife…above all, she just wants you to be you.  Even though a girl will always be a fan of romantic stories, there comes a time when girls quit believing in fairy tales and start to believe in love.  So don’t worry about being Prince Charming.  Just be you.

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2 thoughts on “this one’s for the boys

  1. i love my boys. it was coming back to them that drove me back home after law school. i don’t know where i’d be without them, even though one of them and i have an insanely complex relationship that gives me headaches on a regular basis.

    it’s funny; when i was in school this last time, my clique was all female for the first time, really, since elementary school. i had one really close guy friend in law school, but my main crew is 100% girl. that was odd.

    1. My story is the same. Most of my close friends have been girls since college. I cannot imagine my life without them. But then funny thing is that all of these girls, like me, had mostly boy friends in the past. Is the same true for your girls?

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