Leo Buscaglia said, “The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be.” He also said that “we all need each other” and to “never idealize others…they will never live up to your expectations.” So which is it, Leo? What’s the secret to live? And who are you anyways?
Okay, enough about Leo and his theories on life. Let’s stick to the first one: YOU. With yesterday’s posts still on my mind, I spent my morning commute thinking about our decisions and how we commonly turn to others for their opinions, guidance, and support. When making any decision, we have to remember that it is ours and we are the one who will ultimately be affected by it. Sure we want to hear others’ thoughts, especially it when it comes to life-altering decisions, but the only opinion that matters is yours.
Why am I going on about this? For starters, I’ve learned this lesson the hard way- allowing others’ opinions hold me back from doing what I wanted to do. Instead of getting into the dirty details, let me tell you that high school was definitely full of those kinds of occurences. Additionally, I’ll share that I’ve always been swayed by my parents’ opinions- especially those of my mom- and of course I’ve had certain friends whose opinions I value(d) higher than others. But sometimes those opinions contradict what you really want, making you question the significance of your dreams, your goals, and your aspirations…so what do you do?
If dear Leo says that the easiest thing is to be yourself, then why do we struggle so much with making our own decisions?
Of course I’m going to tell you to follow your heart and that the only opinion that matters is yours. However, there’s another trick that I saw in a movie this weekend: Flip a coin. As this insightful graphic shares, it does matter how the coin lands (deciding your fate of ‘heads or tails’), but rather it’s what you find yourself hoping that it lands on while it’s in the air. That hope you have is your heart guiding you towards the decision that you want to go in. It may not be the most practice decision nor the plan that you’ve dreamed about, but in you know, in your heart, that it’s the right choice for you.
I find that growing up causes the decision-making to be more difficult than when we were younger. For one, ours choices are a little more complex than deciding between spending your Friday night at the mall or the movies. Secondly, we are forced to tango with our young-dreamer persona and the adult-practical side that time forces us to adopt (unwillingly). Yes, unfortunately for most of us, finances play a large role in the latter- which is a buzz kill beyond other things- but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to surrender all of your dreams. Am I right?
Adriana and I bring this up a lot with regards of her dream to live in NOLA. As her friend, I only want her to be happy and if that means moving to NOLA then I won’t let her stop this dream. Ever. Can she afford to make the move right now? Maybe not. But the decision is made so when the time comes, NOLA will officially be her home sweet home.
We all have dreams within us- some more than others. Some of us dream of that ideal job, their perfect city,a flawless love, and/or all of the above. But the difference is that some people go after their dreams, while others sit back and wonder ‘what if’. What good is a dream if it’s always just a dream?
I love when my dad answers my calls to the house because you never know what he’s going to say. Sometimes he’s recommending movies to me, while other times he’s inspiring me with his livin’ in the moment stories. Last night he surprised me with a compliment, one that I hold near and dear to my heart. Beyond that, after telling him that I took a chance on one of my dreams (yesterday), he simply said, “You know what’s best for you and what you have to do.” These few words were exactly what I needed to hear.
Making decisions is not easy, and quite frankly some are very difficult. We struggle with simple things like: What do I wear tonight, in chance that my crush is there? and even more so we know our crush and/or ex-boy(whatever) is going to be there. But in all seriousness, when it comes to taking a chance and pursuing happiness, there is definitely an internal struggle between what we think and what we feel. No matter what, ignore your doubts and go after what you feel is right.
Even if we don’t always realize it, the answer lies within us all along. Sometimes we want reassurance from friends and family that it’s the right decision, but each and every decision that crosses our path is one that we have to make for ourselves. So be you. Do what makes you happy. And always remember if you can dream it, you can live it.