if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. otherwise the moment just…passes you by.

For starters I am not going to spend this post talking about the inevitable mess that took place on ABC last night other than to quote a line that I read today from The Carrie Diaries: You know what they say- all guys are assholes and all women are crazy.  I think that sums up The Break-Up that was supposed to be a long-lasting reality TV romance, don’t you?  Thank goodness I saw this because I really was mentally flirting with the idea of going downtown to tomorrow’s Bachelor auditions.   Trust me, the cons outweigh the pros by far, and therefore I’ll be in Skokie tomorrow far, far away from the other hopeful contenders.

While I don’t want to waste my time, nor yours, hashing out the details of the ‘most dramatic interview ever’… I will spent some time referencing last night’s episode of The Bachelorette.  As I shared on a post from weekend, ideally called Promise me you’ll never let me go on a reality show, I see a lot of myself in Ali especially when it comes to her skepticism and fears about commitment and true love.  I had initially planned on focusing this post after something Ali said last night, but changed my mind because I didn’t really want to make this a love-centric post.  However, I do want to share her comment, and not that I’m sure I’ll use in a future post.  Ali said (to herself), “Life isn’t a fairy tale, Ali…but maybe love can be.”  To comment on this or not to?  Hmm…maybe I’ll come back to this and share something else first. 

Today’s post on the blog, As Simple As That, was titled Operation Fall in Love in a Coffee Shop. It’s remarkable, says the dreamer/hopeless romantic/ coffee connoisseur that I associate myself as being.  After reading it myself I went to leave a comment and was blown away by how many others beat me to it.  There are a whole lot of daydreamin’ coffee lovers out there…and foolish me for thinking I was the only one.  Before I go on, here is the Landon Pigg song, Falling in Love At A Coffee ShopThis song reminds me so much of Donkey, our favorite coffee shop in Athens.  It reminds me of Phill, the boy I fell in love with at our little coffee shop.  Those were some of the best moments in college for me.  I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much…all of the while it was you. 

If you’re a dreamer/ hopeless romantic like me then I’m sure you’ve spent hours upon hours daydreamin’ of meeting the man/woman of your dreams in true serendipitous fashion.  Trust me, I’ve daydreamed myself through many blissful relationships during my years, and sadly, it didn’t get me anywhere.  Playing off of Ali’s comment (see above), let me ask- Can love be a fairy tale?  Or are we setting ourselves up for false hope?  If we’re waiting for the fairy tale to sweep us off our feet…then that’s our first mistake.  Trust me, I know and all I’m left with is a lot of regret, continuous ‘what ifs’, and hours upon hours of wasted time that I’ll never get back.  This is not only true for love, but also for life in general.  If we sit around waiting for something spectacular to happen, then the only thing we’ll find is disappointment.  As I’ve shared, I have spent a lot of time daydreaming- and I’ll probably never stop doing so.  But it wasn’t until I acted upon one of my dreams that I began to live.  On that day my journey began, and since then I cannot stop myself from putting my dreams into action.  It’s a true, A.MAY.ZING. domino effect, and if I can say so myself, that’s really not a bad position to be in.

I hope you read the post I hyperlinked above, but whether you do or you don’t, I want to borrow a few lines from her post.  Please note again that these are not my words, but definitely something that resonates with me:

We spend a lot of time building up dreams in our heads.  We convince ourselves that happiness exists in  a certain place with certain people.  That our dream job does not exist outside our dream city…Perhaps, perhaps our dreams are good…but our futures are even better.  (Hannah Katy)

Do me a favor and think about this for a minute or two.  Maybe come back to it tomorrow, or even better, go visit www.hannahkaty.com to read the entire post.  My reason is because maybe this pertains to something going on in your world/ your mind right now…and maybe not.  If not today, maybe it will someday- sooner than later. 

While I’m worried about jinxing it, I will share that today I went after one of my dreams- a dream that I’ve had for quite awhile.  A dream that may or may not come true in the near future, but it’s a dream that I had to take a chance on.  A dream that wouldn’t come true if I didn’t.  Sure the dream is safe.  There’s no pain in your dreams.  You don’t have hurt, and your heart doesn’t break.  But you always don’t get to feel the joy, the satisfaction, the happiness that a dream-becoming-reality embraces you with. 

I can also tell you that I’ve sat back and let a dream stay a dream.  A dream that haunts me every day.  A dream that causes me to wake up with regret every morning and go to bed with more regret each night.  This dream has been reoccurring in my mind for about 6.5 years now.  And while the situations change, the true ending never does.  It’s always just a dream, and therefore the pain never fully resides. 

I’m sharing this with you not for empathy, but rather to make sure that you never wear my shoes.  They’re definitely the kind of shoes that hurt your feet.  While the movies paint these elaborate pictures of rekindled romance, let me tell you that the reality is that it’s nothing like you see in the movies.  The reason is that even if you’re hopefully waiting for your long-lost love to return to you, you still have to live your life.  And maybe, one day while you’re living your life, love will re-enter…when you least expect it.  Perhaps that is the example of how love can be a fairy tale.

Or maybe that particular love you’ve been waiting for won’t come back…but a new one will.  You never know what’s in store for you until you get out there and start living your life by taking chance after chance…

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The title of this post is from one of my favorite movies, My Best Friend’s Wedding.  Although it pertains to love (in the movie), I used this signify how you should feel about life in general.  If you truly want something…if you’re dream, your passion- then go for it.  Right now.  Don’t wait for the perfect moment.  That moment is now. 

Song of the Moment: Still by Adam Watts

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4 thoughts on “if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. otherwise the moment just…passes you by.

  1. wow, does this one hit home. i had a come-to-jesus conversation of sorts this weekend with a friend who was worried about me, and that’s basically what she told me: y’know, this might happen, but don’t put all your hopes and dreams on this one thing. go live. if it happens, it happens; if it doesn’t, though, you haven’t missed out on other things that could be just as great.

    thanks for this. more affirmation that i’m making the right decision here. 🙂

    1. While this is all true, and your friends, family, mentors, loved ones, etc can tell you so, until you really see it for yourself then you cannot act accordingly. What I mean is that people told me that for years- primarily my parents- but I couldn’t fully grasp it. Until now. Until I took a chance in moving to Chicago and saw the possibilities unfold before my eyes. That doesn’t mean that life is perfect, and in fact it’s far from easy, but it means that (almost) anything is possible.

      If I could go back and tell myself this years ago, then who knows where I’d be. But you cannot go back and change the past. All you can do is go forward, knowing what you know now.

      Every decision we make, every road we take leads to another..where we have the opportunity to make another decision and take another road from there. You may not know where that road is going nor when it’s coming up, but just know that there will always be another road.

  2. Great post! And thank you so much for including me, that means the world to me… I think you bring up some great points. I think sometimes I care so much about the exact place or time or circumstance in which I will meet someone that I am Xing out others without giving them a fair chance.. I want a great love story but I have to be careful that I am searching first for the love, because that will ultimately be the glue to everything else.

    So happy to be included in this.. We daydreamers and fairy tale lovers need to stick together.

    Best,

    Hannah Katy

    1. Hannah, I loved your post and had to give it the recognition it deserved. I kept thinking about the concepts you brought up all day. So thank you!

      I’m no expert on love or anything surrounding the topic, but I found it once shortly after I stopped looking for it. Actually at that time it was the thing I didn’t want. That’s why I loved how you pointed out that we’re so focused the right time, place, person (based on the dream) that we miss out on the possibilities.

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