June 30, 2010: This date is signifcant for many relatively insignificant reasons. First and foremost it means that I survived the nomandic months of April, May, and June, and I’m actually surprised to still be standing. I won’t lie, I do wake up most mornings wondering where I am and where I need to be. It even takes me a few moments to remember the day of the week, and forget the date(!) because I never know that- today is just a fortunate exception. Today also marks the end of the first half of 2010. It’s hard to believe that 6 months ago, I was making a pact with Adriana about how 2010 is going to be our year. I think one of us even swore of boys/boyfriends, but I’ll let that part slide especially since I love PDoug so much!
Gosh, I cannot believe July 1st is tomorrow (or at least I’m assuming so…thirty days past September, April, June…yes, tomorrow should be July 1st.) I’ve be anticipating July because I kept telling people that ‘things slow down for me in July’ so that they can visit and/or I can plan a visit to see them- the ones I haven’t been seeing these past few months. But with new volunteer opportunties with Make-A-Wish and Children’s Memorial Hospital coming into the mix, it looks like July is going to be keeping me busy (but in Chicago, fortunately).
For some reason I’m experiencing blogger’s block today and even that second cup of coffee still wasn’t providing me with inspiration. However, ask and you shall receive! My new friend and fellow blogger at this life of mine wrote a post today which I encourage you all to read: Throw the Rule Book Out the Window. I was captivated by this post as it immediately made me think about the decisions that I’ve made using my head instead of my heart, as well as the common thoughts that seem to cross my mind about life, love, and making choices.
Kate said it simply and best: Sometimes in life, you have to throw out the “rule book” and follow your heart. In January I decided to do just that by living fearlessly, without regrets, and taking numerous chances. Actually my only regret is that I didn’t decide to do so sooner.
I just sent a message to my favorite high school English teacher, who I recently reconnected with via the lovely world of Facebook. Combine that communication with Kate’s post, and this is where my mind is right now:
I used to believe wholeheartedly that everything happens for a reason as a result of fate deciding what path we aremeant to follow. I believed that for a long time…too long….holding myself back from missed opportunities because I mistakenly thought that I was supposed to keep going straight- living day by day- and that POOF! something and/or someone (Prince Charming-esque) would just magically appeared and be the road for me to follow. What a foolish little spider monkey (lol) I was! I was a dreamer. I used to imagine how my life could be, sitting around hoping that my fairy godmother would grant my wish(es). These wishes were fantasies. Things that I thought would bring me the happiness I’ve always sought after. Again, I was foolish.
Today Kate’s post reminded me, once again, the importance of listening to your heart. The heart is your number one guide. When it comes to what the heart feels, there are no censors. There are no rules, no rule book. What the heart wants, the heart should get. However, it’s up to us to make that happen! If you remember anything, remember this: We create our own fate through the risks we take and the choices we make.
I am a victim of this to so I have the right to say that we (all) generally turn to other people to tell us what to do and what we want. This is mistake #1, with mistake #2 being that we don’t listen to our hearts enough. Take time to pay attention to what you’re feeling. On Sunday I wrote a post about feeling alive and posing the question of what makes you feel alive. Remember that feeling because it’s the telling you what you really want and if you don’t have that feeling then maybe it’s not as important to you as you think it is.
If I can leave you with one last thought, it’s something that I’ve said before and I’ll say again: Do the things you’d regret not doing. Apply for that job! Ask that boy/girl out! Move to (insert city/country here) if you feel like it’s the place for you! You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.
So thanks everyone for bearing with me these past few months! Hopefully I’m be writing more consistently and not be as exhausted as I have been.
But you and your heart shouldn’t feel so far apart; You can choose what you take; Why you gotta break and make it feel so hard.