promise me you’ll never let me go on a reality show

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.  If this John Lennon quote has any accuracy to it then (for the most part) reality TV is definitely not reality.  I know, what an earth-shattering remark for me to make this morning.  I’m halfway through my coffee so the neurons are firing away up here in Skokie, IL.  Who knows what other proclamations I’ll make today.  Don’t worry.  I’m sure my caffeine buzz with fade here soon as the Tuesday air sucks the life out of me.  I hate even joking about that because 4 years ago, in college of course, Tuesday’s used to be my favorite day of the week.  Yes, OU bars and alcohol were present, but it was more about the social, friendly atmosphere on Court Street rather than tequila shots, beer bongs, and one-night stands.  Tuesday nights were about spending time with my A.MAY.ZING. friends.  I miss those nights.    

Wow.  I definitely went off on a tangent there.  Sorry!  Let me get back on track with this post.  Gosh, you’d think it was Monday.  So John Lennon… reality TV… no reality… okay.  Got it.     

Let me first say that I’m really not a reality TV junkie.  I don’t watch American Idol nor Celebrity Apprentice, and I am proud to say that I have never watched Jersey Shore.  In fact, I escaped to my room on New Year’s when everyone else was watching it.  I will admit that I’m a loyal viewer of Dancing with the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance, and watch The Biggest Loser, Losing It with Jillian Michaels, and Extreme Home Makeover whenever I can.  Okay, okay.  I also watch The Hills- although I don’t even bother trying to figure out what’s scripted and what’s not.  Seriously, how did we ever believe that it wasn’t?  And, I must come clean about my guilty pleasure: The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.  (More on the latter show later.)  Months ago I wrote this post on called, Bachelor Boycott Begins, sharing that I agreed to never again watch The Bachelor if Jake chose Vienna, and the whole world knows how that story goes.  So since they are now broken up (shocking!) does that mean my guilt will subside if I give in and watch the next season of The Bachelor?  We’ll see who it is first.     

Now I’m certain I’m not alone on this, but last night I spent almost 2 hours of my evening watching The Bachelorette.  I like Ali and each week I find that we’re quite similar, especially in our approach to relationships and love.  I believe we fall into the category of romantic at heard but skeptical in the head.  Although I have to say that I cringe every time she says, “I came on this show to find my husband.”  In my opinion the producers are either making her say that or editing her to say it.  Although a really smart cookie wouldn’t go on a reality show to find love, Ali was presented an opportunity that she couldn’t pass up: a hopeful chance to find love.  Even though I’m not a big believer in finding-love-on-a-reality-show, I think she made the right choice to see this opportunity through.  Good luck, Ali!    

Note: If you’re strictly determined to ‘find a husband’ then you have it all wrong.  Isn’t it about love…as in a feeling?  “Husband” makes it seem like you’re trying to find a material good to possess.  Maybe I’m looking into this too much, but last time I checked the divorce rate was pretty high.  Just saying.  But maybe I’m the one that has it all wrong.  Afterall, I’m the single girl here with not-so-hot dating track record.    

In last night’s episode of The Bachelorette, more drama unfolded.  One asshole had two girlfriends, apparently.  (One just happening to be friends with a former Bachelor contestant.)  While the drama can be classified under the same ‘reality’ as The Hills, I think that Ali is the one who brings reality to the show.  Now I could be wrong and I’ll man-up if I am, but Ali (like Jillian) seems to be able to stay true to who she is even amidst all of the drama and fantasy that the show brings.  Generally speaking I imagine it’s fairly easy to get caught up in it all and abandon reality during the taping of the show.  And then add attractive men, gorgeous gowns, and exotic trips across the world…what girl wouldn’t get lost in that Cinderella world?  While this whole game is fun to play during the 6-8 weeks of shooting, it seems like a lot of contestants forget to pinch themselves when the ride is over…forgetting that the world isn’t all Lights, Cameras, Action afterall.     

And that, my friends, is why you’ll (fortunately) never see me on a reality show- especially The Bachelor and/or The Bachelorette.  First, I’d be a horrible contestant on The Bachelor strictly because I don’t do well with competitive, bitchy girls and I’m too nice.  The Bachelorette is more my thing, but there’s no chance that I’ll ever submit my application for that show.  What do you even put on that application?  Additionally, I tend to live in my own little fantasy world at times so there’s no reason to add fuel to the fire and complicate my mind even more.     

Can people fall in love on a reality show?  Abso-f’in-lutely!  It’s happened before and it will continue to happen.  However, people can also fall in love in actual reality- ie. school, grocery store, set-up by mutual friends, and even at a bar.  That’s the beauty of love…it can happen anywhere, at any time.    

Like me, Ali has flaws.  She’s obviously been hurt before and those (painful) experiences from her past have led her to be protective of her heart.  Like me, she’s not heartless nor a complete cynic.  She still believes in love and hopeful of finding it.  She’s voiced her doubts and fears, speaking for the rest of us who are afraid to care too much for someone in fear that the other won’t care for us at all.    

Okay, I want to say so much more on this topic but then again I feel like my opinion and experiences are voiced all over my blog.  Instead, I’ll pose these few questions:    

Why do we fear the things we want the most?  Why are we are own worst enemies?  And why do we let our mistakes and failures hold us back instead of giving us more determination to succeed?_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________    

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet. (Andy Warhol)    

You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world, but it requires people to make the dream a reality. (Walt Disney)    

Reality means you live until you die. The real truth is nobody wants reality.
(Chuck Palahniuk)

4 thoughts on “promise me you’ll never let me go on a reality show

  1. Once you’ve been hurt, it scars you forever. Whether it’s a breakup with a significant other or a breakup with a friend, or a family issue — those are the things that tear us apart and beat us down. We let them beat us down because we are trained to believe that we deserve everything that happens to us — good or bad. But you know what? No one deserves to get their heart broke, to lose a parent, etc. Those things are inevitable and they are a part of life. The key is learning from them and not let them hinder you from your future. It’s not easy, but once you realize your true self-worth, everything is downhill from there. We all deserve the best in life. Simple as that.


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