june series: what a difference a year makes

As mentioned in a previous post, I am going to divulge the details from my past, well since graduating high school, up until this point. This June marks my 4th anniversary as an Ohio U alum, and therefore I feel the need to look back on all of my Junes, beginning with June 2002- when I graduated from my alma mater, Hampton High School.  With the last few days of June amongst us, I need to get my butt in gear and bring you up to the present day- June.  On that note, it is my great pleasure to introduce you to June 2009 and June 2010, both set (mostly) in Chicago.

June 2009: It really is a distant memory now.  Last year at this time I was interviewing for a job back in Columbus and convinced that I wanted to be back there.  The position was at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, and because I had always envisioned myself working at a hospital I decided that I couldn’t pass it up- added bonus of being able to move back to Columbus, which is what I wanted since Chicago wasn’t going to well for me.  I didn’t know too many people in Chicago at the time.  Karrie was my sanity and weekend companion.  Now I hate to say this, and I mean absolutely no respect to the wonderful Karrie…but it wasn’t enough for me.  I’ve always been a social butterfly, blessed with a large circle of friends, but in Chicago I felt lost in the world of strangers, crazy, and crazy strangers.

Last June I felt alone.  I felt lost.  Confused.  Like always, I was looking for something but didn’t know what it was.  I took a chance in applying for the position back in Columbus hopeful that I would find it there.  That my time in Chicago really was just temporary and that everything I wanted, everything I needed was back there all along.  I was wrong.  I didn’t get the job back in Columbus, but ironically through the entire interviewing process I learned that it wasn’t the right for me.  I wouldn’t have known that though if I didn’t apply.  I always would have wondered ‘what if’.   No regrets.  It was through that process that I decided to go forward with the Child Life Specialist position.  Life is a journey. 

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June 2010: Instead of rambling on about this past month let me just stress how far I’ve come since last year.  I owe a lot of friends- new and old- thanks for their continuous support and guidance.  To know that I’m here a year later makes me proud of myself.  It’s still not easy and life is far from perfect, but I’m still here and that’s a testiment to my strength. 

The first year was rough because I was trying so hard to figure out where I fit in.  Through it all I figured out that I don’t fit in here.  I probably never will.  However, I can make it work.  That first year was about me adjusting, and it took longer than I’d like it to.  But this next year is about me continuing to take chances and work towards my goals; and of course, figuring out what I really want and making it happen. 

My hope is that I when I write about June 2011 I can say that I’m 1000x times stronger than I was the year before.  ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself. (George Bernard Shaw)

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