these are the moments

You cannot perceive beauty, but with a serene mind.
      Henry David

My friend, Laura, had a Facebook status up a few weeks ago that read: This morning on my run I was able to be still for a moment and thank God for the beautiful day, the pleasure of running and be thankful for where I was at that moment without worrying about the future. What a blessing. Wish that could transcend the rest of my life!!

I had a moment like that today.  Earlier this evening I was fortunate to visit a school in the South Side of Chicago.  The kids were wonderful and they loved the activities that we brought.  I’m still in disbelief that I ever had as much energy as they do.  Some of the parents and children spoke (only) Spanish and I had a few moments of serenity as I watched them teach the toddlers the Spanish name for various fruits and vegetables that we had at the site.  It touched me for some reason.  This is just another example of how the simple things in life bring the most pleasure.

I got off the Red Line at Fullerton and walked a little further to my apartment.  For some reason I always enjoy this walk, even if it is longer.  It just always brings me such peace and serenity, and today was no exception.  There was a little breeze so I put my hair down to get the full wind-blown effect.  (Hot, I know.  Lol.) 

On this way home, I always walk past Children’s Memorial Hospital.  Before today I used to enjoy imagining myself doing my internship there- but unfortunately those daydreams are crushed; however, I did get good news that I am #15 on the Volunteer Waiting List and may beginning in the next month.  (Fingers crossed.)  After passing the hospital I began thinking about how important the Child Life Specialist program is to me and how I cannot let myself give up.  Don’t let me!

I was so calm during this walk.  I didn’t want the moment to end.  I walked past Lincoln Park and a group of students that were being silly.  I thought of a few friends of mine, and a former past love.  (I wonder if I’ll ever see him again.)  I thought about how I really live in Chicago.  Wow.  I really do.  I wondered, how much longer will I live here?  Where will I live next? 

All of these thoughts crossed my mind, but not a moment of stress.  Of course I’m a little disappointed that the internship didn’t pan out, but I got the chance of applying and as we all know, somethings don’t go according to plan.  It took me about 25 years to realize this but now that I have it has made a world of difference.  I feel like something better is out there for me.  Maybe it will be back in Ohio; maybe not.  I’ve told myself that if I can make it here, I can make it anywhere. 

Now I just want to say that I feel like God was with me on that walk home.  I’ll say again that I lost my faith a long time ago, but recently, due to my friendships, I have begun to find my faith again.  These past few days since arriving back in Chicago (and getting the rejection email from Children’s Memorial), I have been trying to ask God for some direction.  Today i feel like God told me, through this calm, peaceful, breezy walk home, that i was headed in the right direction…even though the destination is blurry, I’m on my way. 


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