oh baby, baby, it’s a wild world it’s hard to get by just upon a smile

Another night, another adventure on Megabus.  By now I’m sure we’re all shocked to hear that Megabus was somewhat on time last night- if you count ten minutes late ‘on time’.  Then again, I guess we didn’t depart then, so scratch that.  Megabus was not two hours late which unfortunately did happen to my poor friend, Adriana.  (Still sorry about that hun.)  At that time I was just happy to unload my bags and have a seat to myself, and even happier that I remembered to bring a pillow and blanket this time.  But looking back I should have seen the signs that we were in for an adventure.  First, the bus driver mistakenly either 1) didn’t realize that Cincinnati was in Ohio; or 2) had no freakin’ idea where she was driving too.  And I can say this because I’m kinda-sorta a blonde…she wasn’t even blonde.  I know, the stereotype gets old,  but it was a long night and my creativity isn’t quite there yet. 

Anyways, we boarded the bus and YES!!! the wi-fi was working.  And then it stopped.  While I was trying to log back on, the driver slammed on the brakes and started yelling,  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?  You cannot get on the bus here.”  Apparently some crazy women thought our bus was her bus and tried crossing in front of it in the middle of downtown Chicago to get us to stop.  Yeah, instead of going on about her stupidity, I’ll just say people are crazy…including our bus driver.  OMG.  She was a horrible driver.  It was impossible to sleep on that bus because she was continuously slamming on the breaks.  Do you really need to break that much when you’re driving on the Interstate?  Who am I to judge?

So yeah, let’s just say that I was happy to finally wake up and see the beautiful sunrise over OSU’s Horseshoe football stadium this morning.  Columbus, I’m home!!  As soon as I got off the bus at 7 am this morning (Eastern Time!  Love it.), I bee-lined over to my home for the day, Starbucks at Nationwide Arena, for a day of working remotely AND I have a lovely lunch date with the wonderful, Jen Morel.  She informs me that we will be having sweet potato fries (Love Love Love) as she needs to gear up on carbs for her half-marathon with Matt tomorrow.  I also feel the need to give a shout-out to the baristas here.  These three girls are so bubbly and their happiness is a bit contagious.  I LOVE OHIO!  Seriously, Chicago, what is wrong with you? 

Okay, that’s a perfect segue into what I was going to blog about last night- if I had wi-fi on the bus.  So I dropped into Akira last night on my way back to panic-mode packing at my apartment, and I’m so glad I did.  I have a new (gay) boyfriend!  I honestly have no idea what my secret is.  They love me and I love them!  So Bradley hit on me, okay he flirted with my A.MAY.ZING. turquoise Hunter rainboots, which I felt ridiculous wearing since it was no longer rainy by the end of the day.  But hey, if the ‘boys’ love them then it’s all worth it.

So Bradley (new beau) and I chatted awhile, and since he was fairly new to Chi-town I gave him my contact information.  Why not?  I mean if I cannot get a straight guy to ask me for my digits, then why not throw it around to the gays in town?  Before leaving, we talked a bit about where he lived before.  To simplify it, he’s lived a bunch of places (including LA and Miami), but most recently lived in Boston (which he characterized as being ‘stuffy’ and not really his crowd).  I don’t know exactly why, having just met him, but I found it very coincidental saying that Boston isn’t the scene for me.  Call it intuition.  Anyways, Bradley said that so far he loved Chicago because the people are ‘so friendly and always smiling’. 

Me: Really?  In Chicago?  I don’t recall many people smiling at me?  (Other than the gays that crush one me, oh and the homeless.)  Seriously though, to me, and this is generally speaking, I don’t get the whole “people in Chicago are so friendly and nice”.  Yes and HELL NO.  I have never been surrounded by, and unfortunately influenced by, such negativity.  I tell people that since moving to Chicago I have felt like I have to be bitchier. 

In thinking about that now and realizing that I don’t have to be anything but ‘me’ here in Columbus, I have to ask is that right?  Why should I have to change anything about me in order to fit in and/or survive somewhere?  How can I obtain the happiness I desire if I feel like I cannot simply be me…non-bitchy me?

I just sent an email to Darlene mentioning that even in my headcold, groggy state, I just feel so relaxed sitting here at Starbucks in downtown Columbus.  Sure it’s familiar to me.  I mean I used to bar-hop in this area and my old apartment is 5 minutes down the street.  I’m sitting here with three bags and no means of transportation (for the time being) and I really don’t feel one ounce of stress right now.  Gosh, I’m so bi-polar about this whole moving back to Columbus thing, but honestly right now I cannot help but wonder why I’m not staying here after the weekend is over.  And I haven’t even seen any of my friends yet and I feel this way.  Oh boy, my head is going to be messy this weekend…and add all of this wedding stuff into the mix.  Bring it on!  Afterall, I have cold medicine and wonderful friends to help me through all these thoughts and daydreams of mine.

While packing last night, my Sex and the City ringtone went off- indicating that one of my girl friends was calling.  I assumed that it was either Julie calling me back or one of the girls that will be in C0lumbus this weekend for Kristin’s wedding.  Wrong and wrong.  It was LIBBY!! 

Now I’ve mentioned by dear friend before, but here’s the background on us.  Lib and I met during my sophomore year at OU (her freshman year, and also my first year at OU) and after a few months of being acquaintance/friends, we realized that our friendship was going to stand the test of time.  Along with Brandon, I think it’s safe to say the Lib was one of my best friends in college.  We were one another’s rocks and really still are.  No matter how ridiculous things sounded in our heads, we always need that the other was there to listen to us.  It’s the kind of friendship that you cannot force, but rather it just works out naturally.

With Lib now living in Atlanta and me in Chicago, we haven’t gotten to see one another in about 2 years.  Additionally with our schedules we also play a lot of phone tag and FB wall postings and “I miss you” texts are our most common forms of communication.  It’s tough, but as we discovered last night, we’ll always be there for one another no matter how much time passes nor distance is between us.  Still it sucks that we cannot physically be there for one another…and I was reminded of that last night. 

Now I’m not going to indulge you in the details of our conversation because some things really are best to be kept between my lovely Libby and me.  But in essence, Lib is going through the same things that I’m going through: Questioning anything and everything.  This is really why Libby and I are such good friends and always will be.  We not only think way too much about things, but we doubt ourselves and our capabilities.  To others we have it altogether all the time, but things are not always how they appear on the outside.  Like other twentysomethings, we are trying to figure out who we are and where we want to be/go.  The world is just so big and it’s easy to get lost. 

Lib and I have worried ourselves sick over every topic imaginable, and you know that we’ve gotten through each stressor.  And we’ll get through this too.  In talking to her last night I really just wished that I could bring over a bottle of wine (or two) and hash through all of our doubts and insecurities in person.  Hopefully soon.  But at the end of our call I thought that these issues will most likely have dissolved by the next time we talk.  That’s just how it is with us.  We are both stronger than we realize, but sometimes you just need a friend to remind you of that.  Lucky for me, I have many friends who remind me of this every day.  Thank you. 

And thank you all for bearing with me through this post.  I don’t think I got as much sleep last night on the bus as I had hoped.  I’m trying to bypass the second cup of coffee until after my sweet potato fries and good friend time.  I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and I’ll check in again when I can.  I’m sure I’ll have such life-changing things to say after Kristin and Jim’s wedding and my weekend back ‘home’ in Columbus.  If I can leave you wish just one last thought, it’s this:

Take a moment out of your busy, stressful day and just smile.  Smile at someone- maybe a child, an elder, a mother, a father, a cute guy/girl passing by.  Smile at something that makes you happy.  Smile when you think of a past memory, or perhaps a past love- someone that even hurt you but you can smile now just knowing that they helped you become the person that you are today. 

Or you know what, smile just to smile.  No one has to be around.  And in fact smiling just for the sake is probably the best thing you can do…for yourself.  We’ve done this to finish up yoga classes before and of course you feel foolish, but you also feel so much better.  Trust me. 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “oh baby, baby, it’s a wild world it’s hard to get by just upon a smile

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s