i know a girl she puts the color inside of my world

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers in the world, in my life, and most importantly, my mother.  It’s so hard being away from her today because all I really want to do is spend this special day with her letting her know how much she means to me.

This morning by mom walked the Race for the Cure in downtown Pittsburgh and my wish is that I could have been there to walk with her.  This is one of the million reasons why my mom is such an amazing woman and inspiration to me- more and more each day.

Like  most mother-daughter relationships, we had our share of rough paths- mostly due to my immaturity and I think I know what’s best attitude during my teen years.  I wish I could go back and erase all of the horrible things I said, but I’m just happy that it’s all in the past.  Now my mom is one of my best friends and lucky for me, our relationship only gets better as time goes on.

Actually our relationship was forever changed last fall when she had surgery.  It was something very important to her and therefore it was important to me that I was there to see her through.  Fortunately my work allowed me to stay with her for a week and help her with the recovery process.  For that week I walked in my mother’s shoes.  From the time I woke up in the morning ’til I went to sleep at night, taking care of my mom was my full-time responsibility.  Not only did I learn (in a way) what it’s like to be a mother, but I finally understood all of the sacrifices that my mom has made over the years (and will continue to make) for my brother and me.

Mothers are the definition of selfless; patience; wisdom; courage; grace; beauty; and most importantly….LOVE.

The renewed appreciation, admiration, love, and respect for my mother was a long time coming, and it began last spring when I was first introduced to the beautiful Hazel.  In this moment here, after a love Megabus trip, I experienced love (for the first time in a long time).  Not only did I fall in love with little HK that day, but I was lucky to witness the love of a mother and father for their firstborn.  And shortly after, I was blessed to love another- my ‘nephew’, George Michael.  I personally cannot imagine loving HK and GM anymore than I do now, but I understand that my admiration doesn’t come close to the natural love that Rebecca and Nate have for their children.  I am so happy and proud of them, and grateful that I’m able to be part of their children’s lives.

My friends, Jenni and Mat, also had their first child, Audrey, last year.  While I have yet to meet her or see them since Audrey’s  birth, every time I see another photo of their beautiful daughter I am overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions and questions: When did all happen?  When did my friends grow up?  Get married?  Have kids of their own?  Aren’t we still kids ourselves?

You know people have always told me that I would be a great mother, and much to their dismay I used to always say that wasn’t planning on having kids of my own.  That was then.  Ever since the arrival of Hazel, and now having little George in my life too, I think it’s safe to say that my parents may have a grandchild(ren) of their own one day.  My parents would be A.MAY.ZING. grandparents, and I’d love to see my brother as an uncle.  Did I really just go there? But they may have to rely on good old-fashioned adoption, unless one of my gay boyfriends plan on being the father.  Only time will tell, and afterall I am only 26!

Sorry about that last part.  I became a teary-eyed, emotional wreck watching Carrie Underwood’s Temporary Home video, but I’m better now.  My emotions and thoughts are just all over the place these days, and to be honest, I miss my mom.  It’s tough being away from family on any holiday, but I was also just reminded how lucky I am that my own mother is still alive.

For all of those who have lost their mothers, my heart goes out to you today.  And for all of us who are still blessed to have ours, remember how amazing these women are every day of the year- not just today.

*The title of this post is from the lyrics of John Mayer’s Daughters.

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