true or false: guys and girls can be ‘just friends’

How I have not yet written a post on this topic is beyond me.  Okay, I think it’s safe to say that by now you know that my friends are everything to me and that I’m very lucky to have many important, supportive people in my life.  Actually, yesterday my colleague, Selena, asked me how many friends I have.  I laughed.  I reasoned that I could easily be in about 10-12 weddings (but of course won’t be)- and that’s just for my girl friends.  Add my guy friends in to the mix and it’s another story.

So let me pose the inevitable question: Can guys and girls really be ‘just friends’?  I could argue this questions for hours, using my own experiences as examples, but so could you and your answer  may be opposite of mine. 

Let me say this though, where would us, girls, be without our guy friends?  And better yet, where would the boys be without us?  We learn so much about ourselves, as well as the opposite sex from our relationships with friends of that gender.  I cannot begin to tell you how many of my guy friends have asked me for advice on girls…and then not listened to it…and then (shocker) coming back for more ‘advice’.  And I cannot sit here without acknowledging the fact that I, speaking for other girls as well, have turned to my boys (a few times, or more) and literally said, “WTF is up with ‘this guy’!”  The fact is, we all need a best friend of the opposite sex.   

I mean just look at these two lovely friends of mine, Brandon and Libby.  They just look like they are meant to be friends.

I am a very lucky girl because not only do I have A.MAY.ZING girl friends, but I happen to have FAN.FREAKIN.TASTIC guy friends too.  It’s funny because a lot of my girl friends tend to be tends with more guys than girls.  I used to feel the same way, especially in high school, but now I really do have a great group of girl friends in my life- most which I write about on here regularly. 

I bring this whole question up because the older I get, the blurry the line sees to be.  I personally could not imagine my life without my guy friends- Brandon being one of them- and fortunately I never have to.  However, being the single girl who I am, I find that it’s more difficult for me to build new friendships with guys.  For one, the girlfriend/fiancée/wife card.  Now ladies and gentleman, let me say this once.  I may be one of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet, and that has (time and time again) been MISTAKEN for flirting.  Pure and simple: I’m not.  In fact, if I even sense a guy has a girlfriend then I don’t even bother.  I’m being serious too.  A certain longtime-love of mine once told me that he was ‘talking to someone’ and I checked out right away because that’s just how I am.  So word of advice, gentlemen, if you ever want to see where things can go with a girl, then first be honest.

Okay, before I make that into a bigger issue than it needs to be, let me pose this question.  If a guy is single and a girl is single, why do people just assume that they would be perfect for one another?  Not like I’ve ever set-up because of this situation…no, never…but seriously.  Sometimes it really does work out, but I’m still a big believer that the most successful relationships are a product of building a friendship first.  And by friendship, I mean good old-fashioned friendship.  No blurry lines in that term, or situational scenarios.  Friends.  As in guys and girls hanging out; getting to know one another; crushing on the other…and then yada, yada, yada. 

So yeah, I’m not really sure where this whole post is coming from.  Is there a Full Moon tonight?  Or can I just blame it on a Case of the Tuesdays?  No, in all seriousness, I think I’ve been thinking about this lately because in the past I’ve been the girl whose guy friends fall for her.  It happened like every other week in high school, to the point where I decided to take a breather from some friendships.  (Let’s just say they aren’t my friends anymore, which sucks, but at the time I thought it was for the best.)  I really am the girl who gets the guys that I don’t like and likes the guys that don’t like her.  It’s a never-ending cycle of frustration and disappointment.  While it’s not keeping me up at night or anything, I guess it’s reasonable to say that it gets old.  Okay, maybe I do have the Case of the Tuesdays afterall.  And because of that, I’ll spare you from listening to me rant about the lovely ‘friends with benefits’ pact for now, and just say- I’ve tried it and failed miserably.  My advice is that if you’re not in college anymore, then leave it to the amateurs.

**And not like you need to know this, but probably more than half of the people in these photos have either crushed on, hooked up, dated, or been in a fake-Facebook relationship with one another at some point.  But that’s college at OU for you.  Cheers!


7 thoughts on “true or false: guys and girls can be ‘just friends’

  1. True!

    As long as they aren’t “attracted” to each other. Some of my best friends (before getting married)…were guys.

    For some reason….once you get married….you can’t have guy friends anymore. Friends of the opposite sex are only allowed while single….some weird law.

    1. Agree about the attraction part- obviously true. But I feel like a lot of friends develop feelings for the other during the friendship- and from my experience and others I know, it’s usually one-sided more often than not.

      So if that’s the law, I may as well hold out to my single status. I’m always so afraid of losing my guy friends as they get married.

  2. I have just as many guy friends as I do girl friends. And honestly, I think I’ve stayed closer to some of the guys than the girls since college…

    And I get angry when people assume we’re friends because we’ve “hooked up” at one point or another…

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