when you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part

I woke up this morning from a wonderful dream about my latest crush.  Apparently he was my boyfriend and from the impression that I got, we were a very happy couple.  We were spending time with his family and friends, and he seemed so proud to introduce me as his girlfriend.  It’s dreams like these that you don’t want to ever wake up from…especially when you’ve been a victim of a broken heart for so long.  New crushes and dreams about them make you believe that your broken heart can mend, and hopefully be whole again.

I used to call myself a dreamer, which is even what my new star tattoo stands for.  However, over time, I’ve learned that even dreamers need to stop only dreaming and start acting on these dreams & subconscious desires.  I love this quote on Alisha’s Facebook page: Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. (Hans Christian Andersen).  Some dreams are truly magical- allowing us to accomplish the things we only imagine ourselves doing in real life.  But the thing about dreams is that we will always wake up from them, and therefore, the only way to be happy is to make these dreams your reality.   

As much as I wanted to stay in bed and fall back to sleep in hopes of continuing that dream (which never happens), I had a spinning class to get my butt to.  To make sure I didn’t ditch it, I made plans to meet Lauren there.  To my surprise, we had a substiute instructor today….the fantastically, energizing, therapeutic, and always-entertaining, Mr. Brian Heckler.  If you ever see this face at your gym, immediately find out when his next spin class is.  Trust me. 

Let me backtrack just a bit.  So Barbie, my former Trainer and Fit Chicks Group Instructor, told me for weeks that I should take one of Brian’s spin classes…but at that time I had never taken spinning and honestly, it intimidated me.  However, with my new motto do the things you’d regret not doing and live in the moment, I opted to take my first spin class with Barbie one fateful Wednesday evening.  I’m so glad that 1) I took Brian’s class as my first spinning experience, and 2) that Barbie was there to coach me along.  Brian’s class was the best (technically) free therapy session.  Not only was his music motivating and fun, but he would entertain us with his singing to Madonna, Kelly Clarkson, The All-American Rejects (Gives You Hell is the best spin song!), and the Fame soundtrack.  Oh yeah, if you didn’t come to the conclusion yourself, he is gay.  I could go on and on about dear Brian and my love or spining, but I’ll just say that he is responsible for bringing out my inner Spinning Guru.

While spin class was far from easy, I walked out of the gym feeling a big high on life, as well as sweaty and in needed of some caffeine- which is why I visited my lovely baristas at Starbucks.  But on my walk back, I was thinking about my crush.  It’s so nice to have a crush- although I don’t know if it will go anywhere or not.  It just makes me a little bit happier, or perhaps less anxiety-ridden.

Now I’m back at my apartment and taking some K-time before embarking on my internship application and Bachelorette party cleaning, decorating, and shopping.  We’ll see if I can stay this calm for the remaining of the day.  Here’s to hoping.  Happy weekend everyone!  ♥K

P.S. Love the Glee Cast’s version of Gives You Hell.  Hope you enjoy!

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