this is the first day of my life

Good morning.  I woke up groggy this morning- which is no surprise since my alarm goes off at 5 am- but I found myself quite alert after my shower.  I won’t indulge you as to why other than to say that I found a nice little pick-me-up in my Inbox this morning.  This made the morning commute a hell of a lot better, even before my daily Starbucks.  So I”m at work now and I cannot get this song out of my head:

First Day of My Life- Bright Eyes

Song & Lyrics

So first, I woke up from a dream all about engagements.  Apparently I was proposed to twice last night- by different people.  And after I rejected the first one, he said, “It’s because I’m not ck, right?”  I responded ‘no’, but even in my dream I was thinking “yes’ in the back of my mind.  Oh, and more about engagements.  Libby and Kyle got engaged in my dream as well.  I hope that one comes true…eventually. 

So why is this song stuck in my head?  Well, even with ck making an appearance in my dream last night, I woke up feeling okay about it.  I’ll be honest and admit that after dreams like this I would continually think about him the next day.  But, to my surprise, that’s not the case today.  It’s pretty nice actually.  Maybe I really can let go, finally. 

Back to the song….I always love listening to it and even watching this video from time to time.  Last week I was talking to my office mate about how I just enjoy watching people and wondering what their story is.  I mean you never know who just got engaged, broke up with the love of their life, received a new job in another country, etc.  One of my favorite things in the world to do is listen to other people’s love stories.  I always ask couples how they met because I just find it fascinating to hear how it all began.  Everyone has their own story, and there’s no right/wrong way to fall in love.  Boom!  It just happens.  And as anyone who’s experienced it knows, there’s no turning back after the bug bites you.  Call it a curse, if you will, but it can be A.MAY.ZING.

I, myself, kinda-sorta have my own story.  Whether or not it ends up with a happily ever after it is still mine, one I’ll always hold near and dear to my heart because it taught me how to love.  First love is always hard to get over, and sometimes you never really do.  But every time I hear another’s love story, it makes me want to love again. 

You know ever since I made my declaration to let go, I’ve started to see things differently.  It’s been about a week now and I really feel like I’m starting my life over again.  People always say to ‘let go’, but it’s not as easy as one may think.  But once you are capable and committed to it, it’s possible.  Nothing in life is impossible.  Difficult, maybe.  But the risks always prove to be worth it.  I came across this quote awhile back from Jennifer Aniston and think about it when I’m having a weak moment.  ♥ K

“I’ve learned that you can get through things that hurt. Nothing will kill you. Nothing. People are unbelievable. we have such resilience.”

 

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2 thoughts on “this is the first day of my life

  1. Oh I love that song. I’m so proud of you! I know how hard it is, TRUST ME, but you’re handling this with all of the grace and class I have come to expect from my beloved, K. Doing my happy dance thinking about you visiting and meeting my love story in just a few more days + week.

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