high school & recurring dreams

Good morning.  I just woke up from another dream about high school…good old Hampton High.  Even though it’s been (gasp) 8 years since I graduated and have seen/spoken to many of the people I knew back then, I find myself dreaming about it all a lot.  I believe that Facebook has a lot to do with it.  Facebook: Creating Stalkers and Recurring High School Nightmares Dreams.

I wake up from most of these high school dreams thinking WTF!!  Especially because most of these dreams somehow incorporate my first ‘real’ boyfriend…from 7th grade.  When I say ‘real’ it’s that he lasted more than a week.  I think it ended up being 2.5 months actually, and to be honest he should have lasted a lot longer but as you’ll learn, I have issues.  Yes, I’m saying that outloud for all to hear.  I’m admitting it once and for all on this platform.  Since this 7th grade boyfriend, rh, was the longest relationship I’ve (louder & longer gasp) ever had, I guess it should still mean something to me??? 

Actually, I’ve always questioned why he still pops up in my dreams, but I think I finally understand.  I was watching an interview the other day with Ruby Gettinger, the woman who has a TV about her weight loss journey.  She said that as she’s been losing (significant amounts of) weight, she has been having these night terrors about her childhood- which is when she first started emotional eating and becoming obese.  She doesn’t even remember any of these incidents, which experts are telling her must have been repressed and ‘controlled’ by her eating.  Wow!  Isn’t that fascinating?  I’d love to hear more about this, especially as someone who has suffered from emotional eating and an eating disorder. 

Yes, I just put that out there because the whole goal of this blog is to openly communicate about the good and the bad, for the benefit of myself and others- that may learn more about themselves and feel more comfortable with their own issues & problems. 

Okay, so finishing that last thought about repressed emotions & dreams, I believe that my dreams about high school and rh are due to the things that I’ve repressed or, better put, left back in my past.  I’ve reasoned that I dream about rh still- even though I don’t even think about him- because he was a part of me before my issues arose.  In fact, when we were ‘dating’ is when my issues began arising…coincidence?  He was, and probably still is, a great guy so it has nothing to do with him at all.  Rather it was the 13- year old girl in me that began experiencing ‘girl stuff’ and a bundle of emotions.  This is also when my body image issues began.  I remember thinking that it was better for me to dump rh  now because he’d probably break up with me later anyways, thinking that I wasn’t pretty or cool enough for him anymore.  Seriously girls, why do we think like this????

Enough of the journey to the past for now.  Off to Bootcamp class at the gym to begin this day of studying.  I’m sure I’ll rely on this as a break later.

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